Posted by Anonymous on 2/2/06 3:49pm
Msg #93475

Okay, this is definitely o/t but it's relevant, sort of

I should be doing something constructive. Instead I'm mooning over the guy who just came to my door to pick up docs! I have a serious case of the hots for the FedEx guy. He is movie star gorgeous and does not mind flirting. I am thinking of asking him out. Since I see this guy everytime I schedule a pick up would it be a bad thing to hit on him while he's here? I am rejoining the dating world after 10 years married/now divorced. Would love all opinions. Sorry for the Anon but just can't handle the shame if you guys trash me.

Reply by Patrick Anthony on 2/2/06 3:52pm
Msg #93477

Go for it... You only live once!

Good Luck!!

Reply by Kydocrunner on 2/2/06 3:58pm
Msg #93480

absolutely! You go girl!!! Keep us posted.

Reply by Bonnie_CO on 2/2/06 4:00pm
Msg #93487

Hey! After any divorce and prior to the next really serious relationship their is always a "transition guy" . Go for it...ONLY if he's single though! LOL

Reply by CarolynCO on 2/2/06 4:02pm
Msg #93488

And I'm sure he will be honest and tell you that he's single, even if he's not!

Reply by Charles_Ca on 2/2/06 3:57pm
Msg #93479

You're probably a troll but I'd tell you the same thing I'd tell my daughter. Are you interested in just a quick romp? What does this guy have to offer in the long term. It's a well known fact that many women make the same mistakes over and over and it sounds like you have no plan. Believe me, coming from a guy, the FedEx guy is sure to be flattered but then what? You need to determine what it is you want out of life and then find a path for achieving it.

Reply by srnotary_CA on 2/2/06 3:58pm
Msg #93481

Go for it but make sure he is single first lol n/m

Reply by CarolynCO on 2/2/06 3:59pm
Msg #93482

Re: Go for it but make sure he is single first lol n/m

Took the words out of my mouth -- I was going to ask "what if he's married?"

Reply by eXpedN_TX on 2/2/06 4:09pm
Msg #93492

Re: Go for it but make sure he is single first lol n/m

Get his ID and fingerprint him. LOL!!! I would go for it. Good things may happen, but how would you know unless you give it a try?!?!?

p.s. - If he isn't wearing a ring, see if there is a tan line.

Reply by Gina on 2/2/06 4:46pm
Msg #93504

Re: Okay, Charles

...You're probably a troll...

I'm not a troll. But thanks for that defeating comment. Originally posted anon to not be out there and embarrassed.

Reply by eXpedN_TX on 2/2/06 4:53pm
Msg #93506

Info about Trolls

http://members.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm

I thought it was an interesting read. Also, it states that they are usually men.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 2/2/06 5:12pm
Msg #93515

Re: Info about Trolls, I guess I am one...

Trolls are utterly impervious to criticism (constructive or otherwise). You cannot negotiate with them; you cannot cause them to feel shame or compassion; you cannot reason with them. They cannot be made to feel remorse. For some reason, trolls do not feel they are bound by the rules of courtesy or social responsibility. Sounds just like me doesn't it??

Reply by Charles_Ca on 2/2/06 5:00pm
Msg #93509

OK Gina! Defeating? Whatever! I'm glad you're so easily

defeated. It just makes it that much easier for those who aren't!

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/2/06 4:54pm
Msg #93507

Re: Okay, this is definitely... Irrelevant - Move to Strike

Got court on the brain as I am watching Court TV today. (It's addictive.)

Anon - Two must-reads for you...

*The Rules Book* by Fein and Michaels.
*He's Just Not that Into You* by Behrendt

You have been out of the loop awhile, so maybe you have forgotten that usually the flirtatious men are immature and have a lot of issues. He'll either dump you for the next NSA putting out packages or he'll glomb onto you like mucus, make you pay the way, and become a major drama king insisting that you believe that he does not fool around on you no matter how many times you have seen it with your own eyes.

I'll pick "quiet and strictly business, ma'am" as the winner any day. Real men ask you out if they are interested...they don't play the flirt game.

Reply by Charm_AL on 2/2/06 5:03pm
Msg #93512

Re: Okay, this is definitely... Irrelevant - Move to Strike

me too Brenda!...should two of those counts be dropped to manslaughter? I feel for this kid, but the prosecutor is trying real hard to show the other side...I'm sooo confused!

Reply by Beth/MD on 2/2/06 5:18pm
Msg #93518

Re: Wow, head off to do a quick signing only to

see we're now dating the FedEx guy?! You wouldn't want to date my FedEx guy, the "looks decent wagon" didn't even stop at his house. :(

Reply by Gina on 2/2/06 5:29pm
Msg #93524

Re: Brenda

I know you are probably right but God is he cute. And yes I have been out of the game for a while.

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/2/06 6:19pm
Msg #93539

Re: Brenda

LOL...yes Gina, I hear you. You are certainly entitled to the privilege of making your own mistakes. Some of mine have been the best times of my life...but maybe I would do things a little bit different and skip the party.

Reply by Beth/MD on 2/2/06 5:22pm
Msg #93520

Re: Charles, good advice.

My dad's advice was a bit different. Being the only daughter he didn't think I should date until my 40s...He relented...............and to make matters worse, he sent my eldest brother along on my very first date.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 2/2/06 5:30pm
Msg #93525

Re: Charles, good advice.

Thanks Beth. Looks like I got snookered again. I thought it was a legitimate question and it turned out to be just a request for ratification. Heck, I've had cats who have been more discrete. There's nothing like announcing it to he world. I guess I'm stuck in the generation gap, we never let it all hang out. Sounds like your dad really cared.

Reply by Beth/MD on 2/2/06 5:33pm
Msg #93529

Re: Charles, good advice.

Yes, he cares. And so do my four older brothers. Dating was pure hell. I'm surprised they let me get married!

Reply by srnotary_CA on 2/3/06 9:21am
Msg #93728

Beth/MD...

Oh my gosh Beth I am the youngest of four with three older brothers. Did they "interview yourprospective boyfriends? Then your fiance? Mine are so bad.. My poor hubby got the rules from all four of my brothers the night we announced our engagement.

Reply by CaliNotary on 2/2/06 6:54pm
Msg #93543

Jeez Charles

"What does this guy have to offer in the long term. It's a well known fact that many women make the same mistakes over and over and it sounds like you have no plan"

What you're telling her to do is the exact purpose of what dating is for.

You go out with someone a few times, learn more about them and decide if they're a potential mate for you. You shouldn't be expected to know what he has to offer in the long term before the first date!

Reply by MichiganAl on 2/2/06 8:39pm
Msg #93590

Okay, that's just plain scary...

I wrote my post before I even saw yours. You're my kinda girl! Um, you're a girl, right?

Reply by Becca_FL on 2/2/06 8:43pm
Msg #93591

Oh Al, not quite....so sorry...no love connection here...n/m

Reply by CaliNotary on 2/2/06 9:02pm
Msg #93600

Not so fast Becca

What's the difference between a straight man and a gay man? A six pack off beer.

And I live right across from an AM/PM.

Reply by Becca_FL on 2/2/06 9:17pm
Msg #93605

I'll take a beer, I love all men..............n/m

Reply by MichiganAl on 2/2/06 9:41pm
Msg #93609

Re: Oh Al, not quite....so sorry...no love connection here...n/m

Well shoot, I was just getting ready to ask Cali if she had a Fed Ex outfit. Not quite the same now that she's a he. And no Cali, a six pack won't change my mind!

Reply by MichiganAl on 2/2/06 8:35pm
Msg #93587

Geez Charles...

Just from her post you've determined she's a troll and she has no plan and she's just looking for a romp? You haven't dated in a long time, have you? Or do you still call it courting? What does he have to offer? Gee, don't ya kinda gotta go on a date first to find out? He's got a J O B, we know that. And it's a well paying one as well. How's that for a start? The rest you find out over coffee or lunch. That's the point of a date. Even if she has a plan and isn't looking for a romp, she still has to go on that first date.

Don't listen to the wet noodle, Gina. Go have fun and do what you want. You're an adult. And be thankful you're not Charle's daughter.

Reply by BetsyMI on 2/2/06 5:27pm
Msg #93523

Hi Gina,

If he's "movie star gorgeous" you'll probably be in for some serious heart ache eventually unless you're movie star gorgeous too! Then you two can "have at" each other...LOL.

Seriously I agree with some of the others in that he probably flirts with everyone. Look for someone that you have something in common with, besides having your loan docs delivered. Otherwise you'll run out of conversation before you even start. I belong to a singles golf group which is a national organization and it's changed my life. What city are you in? Or maybe I should ask if you golf first!

Reply by Gina on 2/2/06 5:31pm
Msg #93527

No, I don't golf. I'm in Louisiana.

Reply by BetsyMI on 2/2/06 5:35pm
Msg #93530

Well, sorry you don't golf, but my point was to find something that you like to do where you will meet people that like to do the same thing......tennis....choir singing...volunteering...euchre..singles dances..cooking classes, etc. so that you will have a companion who you share interests with. Makes for a much better relationship in the long run!

Good luck!

Reply by CarolynCO on 2/2/06 6:03pm
Msg #93538

Re: Don't they have golf cources in LA?? nm

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/2/06 7:04pm
Msg #93548

Re: Don't they have golf cources in LA?? nm

Carolyn posed the question "Don't they have golf courses in La?"

This is not usually discussed, but actually the only golfing in La. is miniature golf. See, they don't waste all that flat acreage on golfing. They grow mudbugs.

Reply by CarolynCO on 2/2/06 7:18pm
Msg #93562

Re: Don't they have golf *courses* in LA?? nm

I have no idea where *cources* came into the picture --

Thank you very much for the clarification of golf *courses* -- I just assumed that there were people all over chasing those little white balls -- or in our case, they are orange so they can be seen in the snow!

Reply by CarolynCO on 2/2/06 6:01pm
Msg #93537

And besides that, if he is "movie star gorgeous" he knows it and he's going to be checking out everyone else to see if they are checking him out.

If he's not married, what's wrong with him? And if he is married, he probably has a dozen kids at home and flirting is his escape from his reality.

Reply by CaliNotary on 2/2/06 7:09pm
Msg #93550

I guess I'm the voice of dissent here

I can't believe the advice that I'm reading in here. She's not asking if she should ask him to move in, she's asking if she should try to go out with him. Am I the only one who's seen "Legally Blonde"?

If Gina doesn't know much about this guy, what better way to find out more than over a cup of coffee or dinner, if he's willing? I wouldn't automatically assume that he's a major player just because he's handsome and flirtatious, nor would I assume that there was something wrong with him just because he happens to be single. It very well could be true, but it could also mean that he's flirting because he likes her, but doesn't think it's appropriate to ask out his customers. The only way to find out is to ask and see if he's interested and/or available.

It's a tough dating world out there. You can't just sit around and wait for Mr. or Mrs. right to fall into your lap, you have to take some initiative. And in a perfect world the man would do all the courting, but it's not a perfect world, nor is it 1900 anymore. That attitude can lead to a lot nights spent alone.

And remember, Jennifer Coolidge got the hot UPS guy in "Legally Blonde". Bend and snap Gina!

Reply by Teddog_CO on 2/2/06 7:14pm
Msg #93556

CaliNotary "Git out there & rope one of them doggies"lol nm

Reply by CaliNotary on 2/2/06 7:16pm
Msg #93559

Re: CaliNotary "Git out there & rope one of them doggies"lol

Oh lordy, if you only could see what has ended up in my lasso over the past few years. It's much easier to just rope my own doggie these days.

Reply by Teddog_CO on 2/2/06 7:23pm
Msg #93564

lol It's a tough world out there! nm

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/2/06 7:44pm
Msg #93568

Re: CaliNotary "Git out there & rope one of them doggies"lol

LOL!!! You crack me up, CaliNotary! I must say, though, that with this topic you sound to me once again like the voice of reason. (Hmmmm... after your last comment, though, many might disagree with me. Too bad!)

Gina, as long as you proceed with caution and your eyes wide open, what have you got to lose? I would add that even though he knows where you live, if he says "yes" (and prepare yourself for the possibility that he'll say "no" but don't create a self-fulling prophecy by expecting it), I would still make your first meeting in a public place and drive yourself. Keep in mind that hot, good looking men come in all types - from geeky, super-sweet all the way to Ted Bundy. And if you manage a date, then you can *start* getting to know him, as Cali said. BTW, you might want to ask him if he's married before you try to ask him out... The last guy that really turned my head doesn't wear a wedding ring. Fortunately, I found out he's married before I made a fool of myself! (I hope!) :>) Good luck, and keep us posted.

Reply by Teddog_CO on 2/2/06 8:12pm
Msg #93578

JanetK_CA

Being very serious now! You are so correct. A good "prospect" is very hard to find and to choose someone because they are Handsome or Pretty is a very bad start. It takes time to learn anything about another person (assuming a long term relationship) Just looking for someone to out with is a whole different thing - then double or triple date with other people<your best defense.
Be very, very careful whoever you choose to go out with and do go to a public place and let everyone know where and who you are going with. I would suggest that you have a friend at the house when you go out with am unknown, at least they will know what the Big Date looks like.
Or, use my father's system as well-he used to take down the license plate number of the guy's car. Older brother's what can I say, he didn't like a guy I once went out with so he followed us (thank God the guy didn't see him!) Big Bro "Didn't trust him" In the end the guy did turn out to be quite the Cad.

Just be very careful, learn as much as possible about someone before you go out with them.

Just my opinion.

Reply by LilyMD on 2/2/06 8:50pm
Msg #93593

Re: All of the great responses.

Thanks everyone. Even those of you who thought I should not make an attempt at asking the guy out. Some of you gave some really interesting answers. Now I just have to work up the courage. And if any thing comes of it. It's just meeting for coffee or something similar, not quickie sex or marriage as some seem to have thought.

Great advice from many different angles. Just what I needed.

Reply by LilyMD on 2/2/06 8:51pm
Msg #93594

Re: forgot to say this is what Gina should say. Kinda blew

my own joke. Oh well.

Reply by Anonymous on 2/2/06 8:54pm
Msg #93596

Re: forgot to say this is what Gina should say. Kinda blew

Was it going to be funny?

Reply by Anonymous on 2/2/06 8:56pm
Msg #93597

Re: forgot to say this is what Gina should say. Kinda blew

Maybe you should leave the jokes to one of the resident comedians.

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/3/06 10:55am
Msg #93763

Re: I guess I'm the voice of dissent here

**f Gina doesn't know much about this guy, what better way to find out more than over a cup of coffee or dinner, if he's willing? **

Are we tired of debating this yet?

I think your answer is nice and thoughtful. Everything is relevant. You are younger and at this point I have other goals and things to do that a cute rear would interfere with. I should have always been so objective.

I don't think anything is wrong with the guy because he is single. I think to assume so is presumptious...very much so. But a somewhat vulnerable sounding *sister* asked opinions and she says she just got out of a marriage. This is not the right one.. Cali, you are being a romantic...good sense tells me that if my gut urges me to get opinions I am probably full of doubt and that little voice is telling me"danger, danger Will Robinson!"

Now, I have not always been so coolheaded about such things...Last week there was this


But finally, one day you get a little wiser and connect the dots and realize that problems are not just created by their own making.

Reply by Becca_FL on 2/2/06 8:50pm
Msg #93592

Geez, you go out for a drink on ladies night and miss this?

Maybe next week, I'll stay in. Frankly, this conversation was more interesting than any other conversation I had tonight.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 2/2/06 9:58pm
Msg #93614

Agreed, Becca. I should have skipped last night...

and checked in this afternoon. Much more fun.

Reply by curiousminds on 2/2/06 9:53pm
Msg #93612

Anon, are you pretty & witty enough to attract this hottie?

otherwise we are all "spinning our wheels"!

Reply by Rick_NY on 2/2/06 11:05pm
Msg #93621

I just got in from a late night signing and haven't had a chance to read through all of the thread. To your dating dilemma, I say, do what you think is right in your heart, and, good luck to you, sir!

Reply by O/Cnotary on 2/2/06 11:53pm
Msg #93629

Call Dr Laura, she will know what you should do, ha ha!