Posted by HisHughness on 6/4/11 7:14pm
Msg #385192
Lucy the Chihuahua won't be going FedEx anymore.
Which is a real shame, because Lucy loves to go FedEx. The minute I pick up a courier packet, she's at the front door, bouncing.
But bounce as she will, Lucy the Chihuahua won't be going FedEx anymore.
When Lucy the Chihuahua has gone FedEx, she did so without a leash. All of the FedEx offices know her. She goes in, sniffs everybody's ankles, waits for the "oohs!" and "ahs!" over her spiked collar and to be petted by the customers -- all except the Arabs -- then checks to see if there have been any other canine or feline interlopers in <her> FedEx offices. Of course there never have been; nobody but an onery septugenarian is going to let his dog wander unfettered around a business.
But Lucy the Chihuahua won't be going FedEx anymore.
Today, we had to get off a package before the 4 p.m. pickup, so I plumped Lucy down in her doggie seat on the passenger side, and we hied ourselves off to the closest FedEx. The usual routine followed, though because of the number of customers, it took a little longer than necessay. Just as the fellow in front of me stepped to the counter, I turned around to check on Lucy.
That was when Lucy peed the FedEx carpet.
I quickly stepped in front of her to obscure what was going on; fortunately, Chihuahuas are of a size that can be hidden behind two ankles, even when they are in a wide-stance squat. Even more fortunate, the attendant's back was turned. And in an exceptional stroke of luck, every single customer was also looking elsewhere. I scooped Lucy up, finished my business -- Lucy had obviously already finished hers -- and left, all the time hoping that no barefoot customers came in that day.
I also resolved that Lucy the Chihuahua won't be going FedEx anymore.
On the other hand, considering what vehement distaste I have for UPS, I am thinking about spending more time with Lucy on their premises. There will be one difference, though: Before we go UPS, I'll make sure Lucy fills up on something really really greasy.
No <peeing> the carpet for UPS.
|
Reply by Susan Fischer on 6/5/11 8:00am
Msg #385200
Lu...cyyyy - you have some 'splaining to do! What's
that? His Hughness neglected to ask you if you had any 'business' of your own to conduct?
Ah, just as we figured, only thinking of his work, not yours.
Bad Hugh! Bad, bad human!
|
