** Where do u come up with this stuff? **
You asked, so I'll tell you. My grandfather was retired so he was my primary caretaker when I was little and everyone was at work. He was quite a character.
He kept a woman's scarf in his shirt pocket which he'd whip out, put on his head and tie under his chin if I missed my mom and whined about her. It made me mad at him, but then I'd laugh.
Every night after supper he and I went down to the corner convenience store and he bought a six-pack of Schlitz. He'd swap fishing stories with the owner, then we'd go sit out in his truck and he'd cannon-ball the six pack. He'd say "Don't tell Grandma I drank *two* beers.
Soon as we got home, I'd run in the house and tell Grandma immediately that he drank *two* beers...never mentioned a six-pack.
When he died, one of my uncles went up into the loft and there were 46 empty half-gallon vodka bottles.
My formative years were spent playing and having a ball with a happy drunk. I never knew he was drunk...I just thought he was a big cut-up. I never had a clue he was anything but just the most fun person in the world with a love of laughter.
I realize that might sound scary by today's standards, but I made it through it all...never guessed there was a problem there until I was grown. He had all the time in the world for me and I learned to tie a fishing hook on a line...cast a fishing rod...count money...tell time...tie my shoe...from a very *happy* guy who never raised his voice to me and made every day one to jump out of bed for while I was living with them. I'll just leave off the part about him teaching me about bullets and shotgun shells so as not to humilate you, Korey. 
I named my kiddo after him!
But, I sincerely do not recommend any of you try this at home. |