Absolutely, the planet is full of users, manipulators, toxic personalities, damaged egos and confused Inner Children. Being compassionate doesn't mean having to be anyone's patsy. I, myself, could probably be accused of being niave at times about another's motives - but I'm not wearing rose-colored glasses. I'm talking about going one level past how a person presents themselves, and assuming that whatever their Story is, it has left an impact on them. It changes the perspective with which I experience them, and how I then react, or refrain from reacting.
Just as most of us do when we land at a borrower's kitchen table and they shovel all their anger towards their loan experience at US. We know it's misplaced anger and frustration with a system they feel is so out of their control. We see it often enough to understand how/why it happens, and we're not so easily 'bullied' by it - and most of us find it easy to diffuse. We privately think "ah, there's a story in here!" We're not as likely to jump up immed. from the table and write the person off as a jerk, or mean, or whatever - we have a deeper perspective on it, because we've experience this enough times to understand it. Now, sometimes they just ARE jerks or mean people (although I find that's really pretty rare) and we don't have a hard time figuring those folks out, either - we shrug 'em off, and don't allow them to have a go at us, and we don't take it all deep and personal.
That's what I mean - like that, only spread wide and far. Life is hard, full of rocks and blood and sweat and hurtful things, and we're all affected differently. Some people do ok doing the 'best they can do', some people don't manage very well at all, some don't even try. It must be hard, being a person who doesn't even try or who can't manage very well. I don't think people choose to be toxic. If I can be forgiven this analogy - I love animals, and when I encounter a dog that acts like it wants to actively participate in my removal from this world - my immediate thoughts are "damn, I wonder what YOUR puppyhood was like to turn you into this!" I don't even feel like I dislike the dog, I might wish for a half of a wayward bisquit to be hiding in the lint of my pocket, but I'm not about to offer a leg to chew on.
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| Messages in this Thread |
|  What is a good poster vs. an excellent poster? - SueW/Tn on 6/3/06 1:46pm |
|  Re:One never forgets how someone made them feel! n/m -  LkArrowhd/CA on 6/3/06 1:53pm |
| Re: Very well stated, I agree totally, but for those who are - Keisha_NC on 6/3/06 2:04pm |
| Re: What is a good poster vs. an excellent poster? - Ruby on 6/3/06 2:09pm |
|  Re: Ruby is that you in Running Springs? n/m - LkArrowhd/CA on 6/3/06 2:16pm |
| Re: What is a good poster vs. an excellent poster? - Brenda/CA on 6/3/06 2:50pm |
|  Re:Well said Brenda CA - LkArrowhd/CA on 6/3/06 3:05pm |
|  I respectfully disagree - janCA on 6/3/06 3:53pm |
|  hmmmmmm... - SueW/Tn on 6/3/06 4:08pm |
|  Re: hmmmmmm...yes HUMMMMMMMMM this has brought many - LkArrowhd/CA on 6/3/06 4:12pm |
| I agree with a few of your points, BUT... - MichiganAl on 6/3/06 5:46pm |
| Re: I agree with a few of your points, BUT... - SueW/Tn on 6/3/06 6:12pm |
| Re: Sue so glad you began this thread, it has offered up - LkArrowhd/CA on 6/3/06 8:29pm |
| Re: I agree with a few of your points, BUT... - BrendaTx on 6/3/06 11:04pm |
| Re: I agree with a few of your points, BUT... - John_NorCal on 6/3/06 11:37pm |
| Re: What is a good poster vs. an excellent poster? - whitesatin on 6/3/06 10:09pm |
| Excellent discussion, Sue and everyone =) - ReneeK_MI on 6/4/06 6:54am |
| Re: Excellent discussion, Sue and everyone =) - whitesatin on 6/4/06 2:22pm |
| Re: Excellent discussion - Renee is an excellent writer and - BrendaTx on 6/4/06 3:35pm |
| You are also correct Renee' - getting windy & OT aren't we? - Anonymous from 24.250.160.59 on 6/4/06 3:28pm |
| I wish I knew who you were, because this post is brilliant. n/m - MichiganAl on 6/4/06 6:52pm |
| Re: I wish I knew who you were, because this post is brilliant. - LkArrowhd/CA on 6/4/06 8:13pm |
| I wasn't really trying to figure it out... - MichiganAl on 6/4/06 10:01pm |
 | ah, but compassion does not a patsy make ... - ReneeK_MI on 6/5/06 4:34am |
