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Discussion involving leisure activities: books, travel, hobbies, sports, Internet fun and more. Please read Msg #1 before posting.

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Msg #101

1 replies
you caught my eye
By  Charm_AL on 8/27/07 7:49am

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

Oh my, I am so sorry, "the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been so incredible!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies. . ." "You just happened to catch my eye."

(oh shut up, and just forward it!)


Msg #98

2 replies
Something to do while waiting for business to pick up....
By PA_Notary_II on 8/26/07 11:00am

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/player.swf?b=10&l=197&u=ILLUMllSOOAvIF//P_LxP92A42lCHCeeWCejXnHAS/c

Msg #67

18 replies
Real Age Test
By  John_NorCal on 8/25/07 1:43am

Want to see where you are on the age scale?

http://www.poodwaddle.com/realage.swf

Msg #65

9 replies
Poll: What's the secret to making a marriage last?
By CJ on 8/25/07 12:58am

For me:
1. Share the power.
2. Treat each other like guests: kind and polite.
(3. Each having their own money helps.)

Msg #63

6 replies
Fill in the lines (careful..you might show your age)
By Signing_Doc on 8/24/07 11:12pm

"Here are Robert Young...and Jane Wyatt....with Eleanor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin in............"

"Mr Trouble nevers hangs around.....when he hears this mighty sound.........."

"Top Cat...the undisputible Top Cat.....whose..."

(Commercial)...."Mother, PLEASE!...I'd rather..........."

Top Cat! The most effectual Top Cat! Who's intellectual..."


Tra la la, la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la.

One banana, two banana, three banana, four...Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more. ...

Gigantor, Gigantor, Gigantor.

Gigantor the space aged robot,
He is at your command.
Gigantor the space aged robot,
His power is in your hand......


and the hardest one of all

Well, now, take down your fishin pole and meet me at the fishin hole,
We may not get a bite all day, but don’t you rush away.

What a great place to rest your bones and mighty fine for skippin stones,
You’ll feel fresh as a lemonade, a-settin in the shade.

(you might have a better hint if you...give a little 'whistle')

Good luck y'all

"Doc"





Msg #61

2 replies
Test for Dementia (good luck)
By Signing_Doc on 8/24/07 10:15pm

"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.


Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.






1. What do you put in a toaster?



















Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.









2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't
Attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.









3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?



















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.









4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall,Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?



















Answer: You don't bury survivors.









If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.









5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; InReading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?




















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!









Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!







Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!








Msg #59

1 replies
Another Friday night story - Life in New Orleans
By  Vince/KS on 8/24/07 8:31pm

Life in New Orleans

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, and moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans! There's so many crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate!"

Jack replied; "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said; "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

Msg #58

1 replies
New Bar in Town
By Stuart Posner on 8/24/07 7:52pm


In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with
petitions and prayers. Work progressed, however right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was
ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court. As the case made it's way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't.







Msg #52

4 replies
Fill in the limerick> There once was a man from Manhasset n/m
By  John_NorCal on 8/24/07 10:59am



Msg #46

3 replies
Old TV shows,Anyone remember The Lorreta Young series or
By GLRMbile on 8/24/07 9:49am

Topper (original b/w) or Ann Southern,Our Miss Brook?? How about The Real McCoys,Sandra Dee "Tammy"movies, Father Knows Best?

Just sitting here thinking bout "the good ole days"Smile

Msg #33

5 replies
Poll: What's your favorite fast food place? n/m
By CJ on 8/23/07 5:08pm



Msg #29

2 replies
TO much time on my hands - time enough for a joke
By C_in_OKC on 8/23/07 2:03pm

I just stole this off an e-mail I received.

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk
the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl
who was at the beach pretty much every day. She
wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she
carried, except for one thing; she would
approach people who were sitting on the beach,
glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and
she would wander off, but occasionally someone
would nod and there would be a quick exchange of
money and something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and
debated calling the cops, but since they didn't
know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey,
have you ever
noticed that she only goes up to
people with boom boxes and other electronic
devices?"

He hadn't, and said so.

Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to
get a
towel and our big radio and go lie out on the
beach. Then we can find out what she's really
doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the
wife was almost hopping up and down with
anticipation when she saw the girl talk to
her husband and then leave.

The man walked up the beach and met his wife at
the road.

Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.

"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably
more than he should have.

"Well, what is it, then? What does she do?" his
wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, "Her name is Sally, and
she's a battery salesperson"

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

"Yes," he replied.

SCROLL DOWN???.

(You're gonna hate me for this... Scroll down
some more)
>>
>>
>
>>
>>
A little bit more...........
>>
>>
>>
>> She sells C cells by the seashore.



Msg #24

1 replies
Phenylpropanolamine in over the counter drugs
By BetsyMI on 8/23/07 11:46am

The article in the link talks about taking Phenylpropanolamine which is found in many over the counter drugs like cough and cold medications, nasal decongestants and weight control products that we buy. Taking PPA increases the risk of hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding into the brain or into tissue surrounding the brain) in women. Men may also be at risk. Although the risk of hemorrhagic stroke is very low, FDA recommends that consumers not use any products that contain PPA.

http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/infopage/ppa/


Msg #22

4 replies
Cash cab after dark?
By cyndi_ca on 8/23/07 11:06am

Did anyone catch it last night. We had one of our own on there!

Msg #21

5 replies
Downtime
By  ToniK on 8/23/07 10:59am

Since I seem to have lots of it since I havent had a signin in 2 weeks. I guess my fees arent low enough, go figure....lol. anyways I have been hitting the gym. 3-4 times a week for an hour. I am thinking of bumping it up to 2 hours.

I have some pregnancy weight I need to get rid of. My aby is currently 6 months I have kept 10 lbs from birthing her. 5'3" 144lbs. Dream goal is to lose about 10 lbs, maybe 15 (weight is not really an issue for me but I do need to lose about 4-6 inches off my waist.

Since I used to be in the Army I have bulked up in th shoulder area, so I need to tone that area and look more feminine. My NCO's would tell me I look manly from behind with my big broad shoulders..talk about hurting my feelings. lol

Ok rant much??? lol. What have you all been doing in your downtime?

Msg #20

1 replies
Employee Performance Evaluations
By BetsyMI on 8/23/07 10:20am

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember,
it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from
National government employee performance evaluations:


1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom
and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more
of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like
a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the
better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it
all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a signpost."

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's
the other one."

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."

23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is
out looking for it."

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice
a week."

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

28. "One neuron short of a synapse."

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

I am sure you've all worked with many "bosses" like this! LOL



Msg #14

4 replies
Grow up in a small town?
By  BrendaTx on 8/22/07 8:05pm

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this. Those who didn't will be in disbelief and won't understand how true it is.
>>>>>
1) You can name everyone you graduated with.
>>>>>
2) You know what 4-H means.
>>>>>
3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6.)
>>>>>
4) You used to 'drag' Main .
>>>>>
5) You whispered the 'F' word and your parents knew within the hour.
>>>>>
6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.
>>>>>
7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?
>>>>>
8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
>>>>>
9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.
>>>>>
10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
>>>>>
11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
>>>>>
12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by
References. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson 's, and it's four houses left of the track field.
>>>>>
13) The golf course had only 9 holes.
>>>>>
14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/ girlfriend.
>>>>>
15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will
Never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
>>>>>
16) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your own.
>>>>>
17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich' people.
>>>>>
18) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.
>>>>>
19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairy bar.
>>>>>
20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.
>>>>>
21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
>>>>>
22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.
>>>>>
23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
>>>>>
24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.
>>>>>
25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
>>>>>
26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.
>>>>>
27) There was no McDonalds.
>>>>>
28) The closest mall was over an hour away.
>>>>>
29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
>>>>>
30) You've pee'd in a cornfield.
>>>>>
31) Most people went by a nickname.
>>>>>
32) You laughed reading this because you know it is true, and you forward it to everyone who may have lived in a small town.








Msg #8

4 replies
Long trips to signings
By  TRG_wy on 8/22/07 10:26am

OK - Being that Wyoming is so rural and I very often have to spend a great deal of windshield time getting to there from here I have made the trip a bit more intresting.

I now take along my digital camera and allow for extra time to do some sight seeing visiting intresting historical markers, scenic turnouts, wild life along the road (no, not the road kill), and just trying to relax along the way. Some trips, like yesterday that was 274 miles round trip, allowed for me to see areas that I might not have otherwise found time to do.

Bottom line is that now I feel better and it really helps to reduce any stress. Life is too short to always be rushed.

Msg #4

5 replies
Ah Yes! The meaning of LIFE. NM n/m
By Teddog/CO on 8/22/07 9:59am



Msg #1

8 replies
Welcome to the Leisure Forum
By Harry [NR] on 8/22/07 3:43am

We have created this forum as a venue for notaries public across the United States to discuss things that don't relate to work, politics or religion.

The Rules for this Forum are:

1) Please exhibit generally good behavior. Smile

If things get out of hand, we will revise the rules as appropriate.

Thanks,
Harry

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