Posted by Merry_CA on 9/14/06 2:24pm
Msg #146073

Just wondering....

It is apparent, and only logical, that many of you have personal / professional relationships with others on this board. Maybe they live near you, you have traveled to their area and looked them up or maybe you became acquainted through a network. My question is.... and it goes without saying it's none of my business... but... if you respond at all, do you respond differently (are you kinder / gentler) to the postings of those you know personally? and... have you ever had the opportunity to personally meet someone who you have not been kind on this board? Just wondering.... sometimes after I have posted something in response to another on this board I am struck with the ease with which one can speak freely when the audience is anonymous. But this planet is verrrrry small and you never know when you and someone here might suddenly be face to face.

Reply by Signing_Doc on 9/14/06 2:38pm
Msg #146077

It's a great big universe and we're all really puny...just

tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney...

Seriously, I try to be kinder/gentler to everyone on this board, even those I disagree with. As you state, you never know when you might meet someone. But, as it has been said before, others read this board (ss, tc, potential clients) and you never know when what and how you say, gets you bit on the arse.

"Doc"

Reply by ananotary on 9/14/06 2:42pm
Msg #146079

Re: Just wondering....Great post!

I notice the same thing on this board. A few days ago when there was the longgggg post regarding the Florida network PAW had a negative opinion and he was not thrown under the bus. He has the "respect" of this board I suppose. It often times reads like a high school drama.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 3:49pm
Msg #146113

Re: Just wondering....Great post!

I think that you will find that respect on this board as in life is not something that is instantaneous: it takes a long time to build that kind of respect. I don't know Paul personally but we have discussed common interests and we have disagreed sometime intensly. I know that usually when Paul posts something you can take it to the bank. The only disagreements I have ever had with something Paul posted is when it was subjective and its been a difference of opinion. Paul als very rarely looses his cool with people on the board. I don't always agree with Paul but I know where he stands and ususally why and on technical matters there only a few people here who have his track record. There others on this board who everythime they say something you know its going to be garbage. It takes time to know who the players are.

Reply by BrendaTx on 9/14/06 3:56pm
Msg #146116

Re: Just wondering....Great post!

**I notice the same thing on this board. A few days ago when there was the longgggg post regarding the Florida network PAW had a negative opinion and he was not thrown under the bus. He has the "respect" of this board I suppose. It often times reads like a high school drama.**

You hit the nail on the head, ananotary.

He's respected...he's EARNED IT. He has offered plenty to the board, he's got an *educated/experienced* opinion...not one he whips out of his rear on a whim.

He deals mostly in facts (over his opinion) and he does not shove it down your throat if you disagree.

Disagreement does not mean disrespect.

Reply by ananotary on 9/14/06 4:08pm
Msg #146124

Re: Just wondering....Great post!..Brenda

I understand where you are coming from. I agree with you that Paul has so much information to offer. However in regards to the post that I was referring to, when I read it I did not find it necessary to treat the poster the way he was treated. He too is entitled to his opinion and as a board full of adults we should respond as adults. He was very much treated with disrespect.


I understand that Disgreement does not mean disrespect, but kindness does not mean Respect either. You can be nice withhout having to "respect" the person.

Let me end by saying, I am in no way defending anyone on this board, just my opinion. It means nothing to anyone but myself.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 4:17pm
Msg #146128

Let me suggest ananotary, that perhpas when some one comes

on the board with a major etiquette violation that their reception might not be particularly pleasant. I believe that the poster you refer to was the one who decided to air a private e-mail publically. Additionally the poster proceeded to defend his actions in a childish way. This particular poster ws not arguing on the merits of his comments which were suspect to start with but he also made spurious comments about several other respected members of the board. I will gladly enter into a discussion of virtually anything and if the other person is realsoanble and does not resort to childish comments and vicious personal attacks I can be very gracious and civil. I don't ask anyone to like, I say what is on my mind, and I stand behind my words with my personal profile and information. When I am wrong and I have been I will say so and apologize for my actions. If someone believes I am wrong all they have to do show it, in some instance all they have to do is suggest it and I will find where I am right or wrong. I am sorry if y ou are offended by comments on this board but this is business, it is not kindergarten where everyone must play nice, unfortunately if you must play nice and have a controlled environment then entering into a business is not for you 'cause someone will eat your lunch!

Reply by ananotary on 9/14/06 4:26pm
Msg #146133

Re: Let me suggest ananotary, that perhpas when some one comes

You are right Charles, business is business. All I am saying is that this board reminds me of high school. I can't imagine that anyone on this board could disagree. I have read many times the "vetrans" of this board telling other "vetrans" to igore the idiots. By the mere fact that we respond to the stupidity on this board instead of ignoring it should be evidence enough of how we acted in high school. If you look back at all those stupid threads you will see that I did not engage in any of them. I usually only post if I have a question or maybe something to contribute. The thread from a few days ago may be a bad example on my part, but it does not take away the fact that we should just ignore the stupidity!

As for letting me know that this is not kindergarten, etc....since you don't know me I will just let you know that there is not a single person on the face of this earth that would EVER be able to "eat my lunch".

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 5:12pm
Msg #146151

Of course I don't know you, you use an alias so how could I?

You can say and do whatever you please and I have no idea if you are even a notary, now do I? Like I mentioned I take reponsibility for what I say and I stand behind it with my own name and contact information. Seems that I might have touched a sore spot. I love it when people tell me that something will never happen: its not nice to tempt fate. I don't see a reason for your attitude, I thought we were having an exchange of ideas and I certainly was not attacking you. Of course not knowing who you are, and not really caring, your whole purpose might have been to stir the pot, there certainly are enough of those people on this site and they all try to stay anonymous.

Reply by ananotary on 9/14/06 5:39pm
Msg #146163

Re: Of course I don't know you, you use an alias so how could I?

I really was not trying to "stir up the pot". I thought we were having an exchange of ideas also. When did it change? You did not respond to anything I said and that's fine. All I'm saying is what plenty of other people have said on this board. Just ignore the jerks of the board and stick to the notary business. I don't have to "prove" anything to you, I don't expect anyone to "prove" anything to me.

As for thinking you "touched a sore spot", all I did was respond to you using your words. I am not personally attacking you, not do I wish to. I have read many of your posts and my opinion is not pointed at you, just a general opinion. Why does it have to become personal?

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 5:51pm
Msg #146168

It's not personal, and if I offended you it was not my

intent, I don't know if you are muliti-lingual from birth but I happen to be a polyglot by birth and I use the language in its absolute sense, no bagage. I really had no intention of offending you. So if you would care to tell me what is causing you discomfort I am sure that it can be resolved. If you'd care to take it off the boards I certainly don't mind: e-mail me!

Regards,
Charles

Reply by CaliNotary on 9/14/06 5:54pm
Msg #146171

Stop being so condescending

Just because somebody expresses an opinion different than yours doesn't mean they're being caused discomfort, jeez. I seriously doubt that this poster needs a private email exchange with you so you can make everything ok for him/her.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 6:38pm
Msg #146185

Like I give a sh@t what you think! n/m

Reply by CaliNotary on 9/14/06 7:50pm
Msg #146200

Now who's showing signs of discomfort?

Send me an email sweetie, I'll ease your mind for you.

Reply by ananotary on 9/14/06 6:07pm
Msg #146176

No need to take it off the board, agree to disagree n/m

Reply by BarbaraL_CA on 9/14/06 2:45pm
Msg #146080

What you post is interesting. Personally, I never dis anyone, so I don't worry about "what if" we ever meet. Each person on this board should have one thing in common which is to run a successful notary business, whether its part-time or full-time. A person who is professional in their work, business, appearance, comments, etc., will also be professional when meeting someone who may have a clashing personality or business ethic.

Everyone has their own personality - and personalities conflict now and then - it's part of life. Accept it.

I was in customer software support for years and know first hand that in person, people aren't always what they appear to be on the phone or through emails.

I don't like conflict - never have - but I take it with a grain of salt and maturity.

Just my thoughts.

Reply by Stamper_WI on 9/14/06 3:16pm
Msg #146095

Remember the book "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" ? I am hoping that as the internetages, the users will re insert kindness and courtesy when interacting with each other. Much as they would when face to face with someone. Maybe I don't go to the right places, (I tend to surf the areas of my business interest), but it seems that it is getting better beacuse folks are being called on their bad behavior. I save the silliness to people I know through the email.

Reply by Charm_AL on 9/14/06 3:17pm
Msg #146096

Good point to ponder Merry...

Merry, I cannot answer for anyone but myself and I find your question to be thought provoking.

As I reflect back to starting here as a poster (green). I know that I read ahead of time to get a feel for the board 'atmosphere'. As I do at any new place I'm interested in.
I knew better than to expect anything and I had no sense of entitlement, which usually I do not in anything anyway.
That being said, I have formed some meaningful relationships here with fellow notaries. I've been scolded, cajoled and responded to positively and negatively throughout my time here.
I have not met anyone here face to face, although on another board that I used to be on everyday, (day trader) I did make an effort to meet many of those people. You know which ones you want to or would like to meet. You have something in common with them.

Personally I would love to meet many of the posters here. I have decided in my mind a long time ago that you do not mix with everyone. I post kindly and positively to the posters that are like in kind. I have no problem helping others as I proven in the past.
I have no tolerance for the out and out ridiculous ones though. I would not like to meet them and if I did, my reaction would be the same as it is here.
With me it's 'you get what you see.'

The ones that come on with snide snippets and the truly unaware that make their daily soapbox speeches and the blatantly ignorant that cannot listen to reason have no place in my life other than to tell them what I personally think and move on. Just as you would in real life.
In any case whether I met someone that I have been positive or negative to, I would feel comfortable and carry on in the same vein.

There are many, many people here that are truly interested in their profession and know what they want and take the time to learn something new everyday. Again, I speak only for myself when I weed out those who waste my time and those whom I truly enjoy for either advice, friendship, a way to pitch in with my experiences or references and help out, a new way to look at an ever-changing industry, or a shoulder. I am lighthearted, generous, humorous and laid back until I am insulted or hurt and I'm never afraid to jump in with my elbow grease to help out a fellow human being.

Reply by Charles_Ca on 9/14/06 3:52pm
Msg #146114

There's not a whole lot more to say Charm, you said it all! n/m

Reply by Becca_FL on 9/14/06 4:15pm
Msg #146127

Yeah, what Charm said. n/m

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 9/14/06 3:46pm
Msg #146111

Well, I know my Popsie He even took us in during the 2004 hurricanes.
I have also met Glena Dee, who is as delightful in person as she is on the boards - whatever has happened to her though, haven't seen her in a while.
Becca swung by one day and took me out to lunch.

I don't respond differently to them on the board than I do anyone else Of course I have to behave better with Popsie otherwise he will send me to my room.

Reply by MichiganAl on 9/14/06 7:59pm
Msg #146204

Yes, I respond differently...

There are those who have earned respect and trust over a period of time, and those who demand respect without giving it or doing anything to show they deserve it. Yes, they're treated differently. It's like any social situation where there is an established community. You have to try to build relationships slowly and earn the trust and respect of others. Like Charm, I read for a long time, didn't make demands, didn't act like I was entitled to anything, and tried to respect those that were there before me. And I don't worry about meeting someone face to face. If they want to try to, oh, take a swing at me at the local donut shop, please, let them try.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 9/14/06 11:48pm
Msg #146240

Re: Yes, I respond differently...and a little truth thrown i

I have to respond from Al in regard to respect and time and GOOD ADVICE GIVEN. In any situation with a social heirchy (duh...people) there are stations alloted to those that may have given more than other.

On the flip side - those in the social heirchy should never ever shut their ears to a new voice that makes sense and has reasoned through the problems (and frankly, the people).

I'll not invite anyone to swing at me at a donut shop, because frankly, I don't venue there (sniff). Far too fattening.

But Hey! Challenge me to a tennis match (which you WILL win) and I'm putty in your hands.

Isn't that just the way of the world, folks?

Reply by BrendaTx on 9/14/06 11:37pm
Msg #146239

Merry...been pondering your question today.

I have met face to face with two who later, at different times, I felt were out of line saying very different, things to me, and others, in a private tx forum. Just inappropriate commentary for a good team spirit to evolve.

I gave my usual back. One understood business is business and understood me setting my boundaries. The other did not. One is a dear friend. One is not. One out of two ain't bad.

Reply by Merry_CA on 9/15/06 11:25am
Msg #146350

I want to be a fly on the wall when Charles, anaotary and Cali all wind up at the same dinner party!