Posted by ck_KY on 9/1/06 5:49am
Msg #142782

O/T Happy Friday Notary World!!

Anyone taking a long weekend for Labor Day??

Reply by Ilona_OH on 9/1/06 6:53am
Msg #142784

Good morning Notaryville! TGIF n/m

Reply by cyndi_ca on 9/1/06 7:32am
Msg #142786

Re: Good morning Notaryville! TGIF

Good morning Ladies! Hope ya'll have a great weekend and a super busy September! Don't forget to update ye ole profile.

Reply by Ilona_OH on 9/1/06 8:05am
Msg #142789

Thanks for the reminder. n/m

Reply by Charm_AL on 9/1/06 8:06am
Msg #142790

Friday OT: Mornin' Ladies!!...

WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES...


Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:

Someone from the Guyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't know you liked beer.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 9/1/06 8:11am
Msg #142791

Re: Friday OT: When Women Relax

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total
mayhem and chaos in his house. His three children were outside,
still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of
his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding
into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been
knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one
wall. In the front room the TV was loudly
blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was
strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes
filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was
spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the
table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys
and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she
may be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made
its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet
towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet
paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still
curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day
went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,

"What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I
do today?"

Yes" was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Reply by cyndi_ca on 9/1/06 8:13am
Msg #142792

Re: Friday OT: When Women Relax

Gotta love it! LOL. Everytime my hub asks what I did I wanna scream!

Reply by cyndi_ca on 9/1/06 8:14am
Msg #142793

Charm and Sylvia sending one to ya vie email n/m

Reply by PA_Notary_II on 9/1/06 9:07am
Msg #142813

Re: Friday OT: My salute to women..(long)

Why women are crabby

>> We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

>> Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.


>> Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

>> Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

>> Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push(more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
>> After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
>> Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July,wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Reply by cassiewi on 9/1/06 9:17am
Msg #142818

I can't breathe.....

HILARIOUS! That was a great. Really really great. Thank you for posting it.

Reply by cyndi_ca on 9/1/06 9:22am
Msg #142820

ROFLMAO!! Thanks! n/m

Reply by Diga2Lin/FL on 9/1/06 11:26am
Msg #142866

Re: Friday OT: My salute to women..(long)

Oh My God I'm choking!!!....Hallelujah and thank you!!!...ROFL