Reply by Susan Fischer on 4/15/07 1:53pm
Msg #185315
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,” Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Cheers!
Susie
(From Joke of the Day)
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Reply by Signing_Doc on 4/15/07 3:18pm
Msg #185329
Sorry to hear about your day....but you know I had to...
ROBIN (spoken):
Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
LANCE (spoken):
Here's one.
(Charm AL) (spoken):
I'm not dead!
ROBIN (spoken):
Here, (s)he says (s)he's not dead!
LANCE (spoken):
Yes (s)he is.
(Charm AL) (spoken):
I feel happy. I feel happy.
(sung)
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling
I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
Cause I'm not yet dead.
BODIES:
He is not yet dead
That's what the geezer said
No, he's not yet dead
That man is off his head
He is not yet dead
So put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead.
Well now he's dead
You whacked him on the head
Sure, now he's dead
It makes me just see red
You are such a brute
To murder that old coot
You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead
Who is the knave who put him in his grave
And who needs to manage his anger?
LANCE:
My name is Lancelot
I'm big, and strong, and hot.
Occasionally I do
Some things that I should not.
ROBIN:
I want to be a knight
But I don't like to fight
I'm rather scared I may
Just simply run away
LANCE:
I'll be right with you
Robin, through and through and through
So stick with me
And I'll show you what to do
ROBIN:
We'll remain good chums
You can teach me how to dance
ROBIN & LANCE:
We're going to enlist
ROBIN
I'm Robin
LANCE
And I'm Lance
CHORUS:
Oh we're off to war
Because we're not yet dead
We will all enlist
As the Knights that Arthur led.
DAD:
I am coming too
My name will be Sir Fred
I'll be your musician
Cos I'm not yet dead
CHORUS:
Oh we're not yet dead
To Camelot we go
To enlist instead
To try and earn some dough
And so although
We should have stayed in bed
We're going off to war
Because we're not yet dead
FRED:
I am coming, too
My name will be Sir Fred
I'll be your musician
'Cause I'm not yet dead
LANCE:
To kill
I will
It gives me such a thrill
ROBIN:
To sing
And dance
And keep an eye on Lance
ALL:
We're going off to war
We'll have girlfriends by the score
DAD:
We'll be shot by Michael Moore!
ALL: Because we're not yet dead.
C'mon...you KNOW I had to do it! LOL "Doc"
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