Posted by Jayhawk/KS on 4/17/07 7:09pm
Msg #185704

The worst thing happened to me at a closing

I thought I'd had about everything conceivable happen to me until recently. I've had peanut butter stuck to my slacks, jelly on my arms, yapping dogs at my ankles, cats crawling all around, but this took the cake. The borrower had no table, just a counter, with high barstools,( I'm short), and a coffee table with glass , so I elected for the coffee table for the signing. Someone came to the door and his little border collie who had been sitting in a chair came over and sat on the couch while he answered the door. When the borrower came back the border collie jumped from the couch over the coffe table peeing all the way, all over the paperwork. I about died. I quickly grabbed the top 3 sheets which it had absorbed through, and put them aside. The borrower came back and I said, do you have some paper towels? He looked at me like, WHY???????????????? Then he noticed. I said you might want to set these aside. Meantime, I feel my leg getting wet as well as my right lower arm as it's soaking through my clothing. I got out the borrowers copies of the offended pages and went on. Thankfully we were near the end. I finished up, told the borrower those were his pages, I had put a paperclip in where they went, thanked him and left. Needless to say, my first stop was a convenience store to clean up. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply by Bob_Chicago on 4/17/07 8:26pm
Msg #185727

Double Yuck. Tip for future. Go to Target. Have four seat...

folding picknic tables for about $20 . Weighs , less than 10 lbs
and fits easily in trunk of car.
Way better than this,which constitutes further proof that
" It is far better to get pi$$ed off than to get pi$$ed on"
It is scary how some people live.

Reply by BrendaTx on 4/17/07 8:38pm
Msg #185729

I like you Jayhawk. You speak like a pro.

It wasn't pleasant but you soldiered on through it and got 'er done. Good for you.

Reply by Becca_FL on 4/17/07 8:58pm
Msg #185733

Eww! Bob, you've got that right!

So sorry for your bad luck, Jayhawk. I nominate you for the absolute worst signing of the year AND the hardest finish of the year.

I thought I had it bad with a pig, three cats and four dogs last year....No comparison.

Kudos for completing the job.

Reply by ZeeCA on 4/17/07 10:25pm
Msg #185753

EWWWW poor you but you acted professionally... the worst I

had was when bo wife kept insisting to do haircuts while she was signing her loan docs....

took a while but I convinced her that was not a good idea....

but no one peed on me.....

Reply by Timothy Gatewood on 4/17/07 11:14pm
Msg #185757

Re: EWWWW poor you but you acted professionally... the worst

I have never been peed on, but I have done more than one signing bent over a low table.

The worst was a bench outside (I was sitting in a swing, the borrowers were on lawn chairs) during a heat wave as the day turned into night and they had very little outside light and what there was attracted mosquitos, which chewed on me, and they did not offer me any water (I ran out of the bottled stuff I brought with me), which was just as well as I needed to pee really badly... and, I was soaked through with sweat and had an aching back long before it was done. After that one, I had to drive to a convenience store, hit the restroom, buy a very cold softdrink and spend about 20 minutes in the parking lot with the A/C on high before I was able to even pick up the phone to call in the results to the SS.

Sometimes, one really wonders why. Luckily, I have had mostly very pleasant signings, especially since I adopted a rule that I will not go without speaking with the borrowers first (eliminates so many potential problems BEFORE the edocs are printed or the gas is used).

-- Tim

Reply by JanetK_CA on 4/18/07 1:46am
Msg #185776

Re: EWWWW poor you but you acted professionally... the worst

Yep, I hate the "bent-over-low-table" signings... almost as bad as the sitting-on-the-floor-over-low-table signings. But the worst one I ever had was with a grandma co-signing along with grandson and wife from the bed of her nursing home, using only the little table that swung over her bed for her dinner. It took forever. Poor woman had a rough time of it (as did we all...), but she soldiered through, even after her colostomy bag started overflowing. She didn't want to quit until we were finished. For that one, I think I would have been willing to put up with a wait! Still, I think I'd take that over being peed on any day!!

Reply by kcg on 4/18/07 6:33am
Msg #185784

Re: Somone Really Needs to Start a.....

compliation of some of these stories.......I know every one of us has one or more really crazy stories of signings. Yes, most are normal and some smooth as silk but some are really so funny. These stories need to be compiled into a book - would be really amusing reading and perhaps should be required reading for newbies so they can see what they're getting into.

thanks for the laugh.....

Reply by Linda_in_MI on 4/18/07 6:55am
Msg #185786

Maybe not a book, but a companion thread . . . .

to post 33325. Think about it. One has the good, the other the bad and the ugly. Stories like this might make the faint of heart think twice about the income that is being touted by others.

Reply by Nicolle on 4/18/07 7:52am
Msg #185797

Re: Maybe not a book, but a companion thread . . . .

And I thought my first signing ever was bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to this! Mine was simply a dirty house with a very muddy driveway. There were little knats (sp?) flying all over the house and additionally the house was flea-infested.

Oh and did I mention I ruined a perfectly beautiful new pair of black high heels I bought myself for Christmas? OK, definitely not as bad as being peed on!

There was also a time I witnessed a domestic spat. Yup, still not as bad as being peed on!!!!!!!!

Reply by aatatusko on 4/18/07 7:54am
Msg #185799

Re: Somone Really Needs to Start a.....

Not only required reading for newbies but how about for those ss that think we are making the easy big bucks!

Reply by Charles_Ca on 4/18/07 11:34am
Msg #185837

We should call it "Diary of a Mad Signing Agent" n/m