Posted by HisHughness on 12/17/04 10:58pm
Msg #13979

Hi, Folks!

I'm back. Finally got a computer. Named her Sara Dippity II. Sara Dippity I was acquired when I dropped off a dog of a machine at a repair shop which got burglarized. The settlement was enough to get a major upgrade on my computer capacity. The old computer was so corrupted you'd think it had been keeping books for the Republican National Committee. The new machine is so nice I may kick Lucy the Chihuahua out of bed and start sleeping with Sara II. Lucy just isn't doing it for me. Should have realized how difficult it would be to replace the Beautiful & Talented Estranged Wife, PerkyButt Sanchez, affectionately known as PeeBee.

I've written GAC and told them to note on my file that I am a notary and a loan signing agent, not a salesman for their financial services or a failsafe for GAC employees who don't know how to stuff envelopes. I've told them I expect the full contracted fee regardless of whether a packet was received or returned without a credit card application. We'll see if I get anymore GAC signings.

If anybody actually missed me, just write your own postings and randomly insert several of the offerings below. That should immediately satisfy any cravings.

elucidation
imprecation
salubrious
calumny
antagonist
deuteragonist
irrefragable
Faustian
atlatl
woomera

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/17/04 11:14pm
Msg #13980

I missed you.

Everyone was playing on the GMN board and they left me here alone cause I'm too young to play with the big dogs over there.

I just sat here with my wet nose up against the window waitin' for them to come home.

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/17/04 11:17pm
Msg #13981

That's ok, Colorless...I am here, too. I get scared over there at GMN. I run over there and take a dip every now and then, but I get back over here pretty quick.

For a good many months, I was too scared to even look at that board, much less post on it.

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/17/04 11:22pm
Msg #13982

brenda

ya, and there's sharks in that pool.......yep, yep, yep!!

I got a question....are you up for a phone call?

Reply by HisHughness on 12/17/04 11:25pm
Msg #13983

BrendaTX claims:

***I get scared over there at GMN. I run over there and take a dip every now and then, but I get back over here pretty quick. For a good many months, I was too scared to even look at that board, much less post on it.***

Trying to picture BrendaTX as too timid to post anywhere is like trying to picture Elizabeth Taylor so intimidated by the wedding night she won't get married.

Reply by Elizabeth Atwood on 12/18/04 12:34am
Msg #13994

that is scary

Reply by CarolynCO on 12/18/04 10:24am
Msg #14005

Double Ditto. For anyone thinking we are rude and obnoxious here, they haven't experienced GMN.

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/17/04 11:33pm
Msg #13984

Re: Hi, Folks! o/t

I once had a dog named Lucy...actually, her name was Spaceship Lucy--a German Shepherd. My current dog is a bad shedding one-eyed rescue dog with a very purposeful life. She looks like a small Rottweiler, but I am pretty sure she's 100% AKA Notary Security Dog.

She lays down on the bed with me when I turn in, but the minute she thinks I am asleep she gets up, and patrols to keep things safe. She allows no UPS or FEDEX trucks to approach while her notary is sleeping.

Reply by Maureen/nh on 12/18/04 11:14pm
Msg #14082

Re: Hi, Folks! o/t

My part rottweiler does the same. Only The minute I close mt eyes, she's off the bed and on guard. I can't even dream about good looking guys, cause they get scared off. Then she sleeps all day , only waking to let me know one of "those" trucks have pulled up.

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/18/04 11:48pm
Msg #14089

Re: Hi, Folks! o/t

Maureen says: "My part rottweiler does the same. Only The minute I close mt eyes, she's off the bed and on guard. I can't even dream about good looking guys, cause they get scared off. Then she sleeps all day , only waking to let me know one of "those" trucks have pulled up."

I was told that she was half pit, but she does look like a little Rottweiler. (Only weighs about 45-50 lbs.) All muscle, too. It's her coloring, that massive jaw, unclipped ears, and stocky body that gives that Rott look. But, your input makes me wonder if the backwoods guy (that was keeping her with his Potbelly Pigs) until he could find an owner got confused.

I was really in the market for a cute little dog like a Yorkie or a Chihuahua when I got her. However, my son found an ad in the paper and wanted to go take a look at her. She was in such bad shape when I got her (had lost an eye and had other various problems) until I was smitten by her and decided to keep her. Actually, I took her home thinking that I'd have to have her put to sleep, but the vet convinced me that she'd live and she did. Now, she runs things.

She's never shown unfriendliness to another dog or person...but no one has ever threatened me, either. I don't let her around small children without extreme care because of her supposed breed.

She really, really scares the delivery men until they get to know her.

Reply by Charlotte Tx on 12/17/04 11:36pm
Msg #13985

I am sure glad your back. I looked at those words to left to use (just in case it gets boring) but some of them along the end look a little, well I might have to find the dictionary. But since you have a new puter, well you'll be here as usual. Right??

Reply by ZARA L319 on 12/17/04 11:55pm
Msg #13988

Greetings From "Android"

I'll have you know I'm strictly of the "A" movie genre. Further, should Michael Crichton or Ray Bradbury meet my countenance, surely a novel of the highest order would follow. I must admit, I was somewhat offended at the association, but having read some caustic posts, I considered the source.
I'm still in the "unworn" phase of this business (just sworn in this month) and am a rapt follower of the advice and warnings of the many posters, lest I make some dastardly mistake that even I cannot repair as I am wont to do with great aplomb in other circumstances. Truth be known, between a website under construction, obtaining certification as a Loan Signer, and the other multi-preparation to get this new career venture going, it'll be a wonder if I will be stamping any document soon, other than my Yorkshire Terriers' pawprints on a holiday card.

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/17/04 11:47pm
Msg #13986

Okay.....I got most of 'em covered but you got me stumped on atlatl, deuteragonist, woomera and who the heck is Faustus? It that some friend of Festus?

Reply by CharlotteTX on 12/18/04 12:08am
Msg #13990

Okay I got all of them...
deuteragonist; hostility

irrefregable; unanswerable, incontestable

Faustian; sell your soul to the devil in exchange for power and knowledge

atlatl; a throwing device

woomera; a hooked wooden stick used by Aboriginal people of Australia for hurling a spear or dart

Now by brain is fried!!

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/18/04 12:23am
Msg #13992

I thought I smelled smoke.

My "vig" is gettin' me a notary pup for Christmas. She's a little black pug dog. I don't suspect she will be bitin' any FedEx guys for quite some time. If Brenda is writing a book on "Notary Dog training" I'll have to buy it to make sure I get the most from my pup. We picked her out before her eyes were open and are goin' to visit her tomorrow. She fit into my hand last time I saw her, didn't do much but wiggle and squeak. I can't wait to bring her home on Christmas eve.

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/18/04 1:13pm
Msg #14020

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

Said Colorless: "My "vig" is gettin' me a notary pup for Christmas."

What's a "vig?" If they bring dogs, I might need to get involved with a Vig Clan just in case I have a yen for another dog.

About training -

(1) It takes a lot of time and notary patience to train a dog to have good manners and to be able to pass the Notary Dog training course.

(2) When you leave the house (if they are not invited) tell them you are going to "work." That way they learn when you say "work" that them riding along is not an option. Pretty soon, the fight of getting out the door (once they are crate trained) does not happen and they know you are leaving but will come back.

They are very smart. Help them understand how long you will be gone so they won't get destructive. If you are only going to be gone a short while say "work" but also say you'll be back in "two minutes" so they know you will be home in a few minutes. If you will be gone several hours say you'll be back this "afternoon" so they know you are coming back after a long amount of time. They learn to react by words/actions & consequences.

When the dog is allowed to go, I tell her "We have to go to *town.* Go find your *leash.*"

(3) Leash training: Dogs hate leashes at first. Put a light cheap one on her to wear around the house when she's walking well. That way she is not afraid of it and won't fight it when you start having to put her on one to walk her.

(4) Show displeasure by not meeting her gaze. For instance, when I want mine to sit still while I put on her leash to go for a walk, I hold the leash and will not look at her while she jumps around and barks. When she sits still and waits patiently I look at her, pet her and then snap on her leash. Use the "good gaze & praise" method to teach them good behavior.

I trained mine not to get into the trash while I was gone by saying "Look at this mess!" and not looking at her while I picked it up. After I finished cleaning it up, I would look very sad and not look at her while she acted "cute" and happy to see me. After a minute I would sit down and call her to me to make up with her.

(5) Get a few small bean bags to softly toss *at* her when she's acting badly so that she connects bad behavior with an unwelcomed consequence.

(6) Never let her get in the habit of jumping on your legs so she won't jump on people. (Use "NO!," fold your arms, and don't look at her when she does it. Love on her when she sits and waits for you to pet her.

(7) If you don't want her to beg while you are eating, put her in her crate and say you have to go to *bed* I am *eating.* Soon, she'll learn that "We are eating." means go get in your bed.

(8) Potty training...I used modified crate training on mine. When you cannot watch them, you need to keep them in a crate to teach them about "going outside." Mine was ill when I got her so my lap was part of her crate training (thus the "Modified"). I sat and held her a lot of the time. And then took her out as soon as she woke up. When they are small, put them in the crate when you have to leave the house so they don't find a nice little hidden potty patch in your home. Brag on her when she does the right thing. Use a word while she is doing the right thing so that as she gets older, she connects the word with what you want to get done right then (i.e., you are outside and it's freezing, but she wants to prance around and sniff. Keep saying the word/words for potty time and pretty soon they'll learn to perform upon command.)


The security part, and alarm barking comes naturally.

Reply by colorless_AZ on 12/18/04 2:06pm
Msg #14028

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

Thanks Brenda. I sure appreciate the Notary Dog Training Manual you sent me, it will come in handy. We are getting ready to go see her pretty soon, now. I wish I could bring her home with me today, but I'm sure she's still way tiny, maybe a two-hander by now.

Vig is some kinka latin thingamagig that was meant to impress HisHughness and show him that I been getting some learnin', it means "husband." And, "nee" means "formerly", and it's used before your maiden name. Ain't I cute yep, yep, yep.

Are you supposed to put anything in the crate with the dog? Like water, food, blanky, toy? I've never had a puppy before, just growed up dogs that were already trained. And, yes it is cold here. I expect to be sleepin' in my clothes so when it comes time for the 2 am potty trip I'll be already dressed and set to go into the 32 degrees (or lower) outside. Luckily I have a pair of quick-slip slippers so I won't have to sleep with my shoes on.

Does the dog sleep in the crate, too. Oh, my, what a worried mommy I am.....do I put the crate on the floor in bed with us?

You need to add a chapter to your book on bedtime training.....

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/18/04 2:13pm
Msg #14030

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

I'll email you, so that a cranky notary won't get upset with me do so much dog talk.

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/18/04 2:17pm
Msg #14033

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

Okay...hee, hee, hee....

Reply by Jon on 12/18/04 9:49pm
Msg #14072

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

This is ridiculous!!!!! I thought this was a notary board. If you want to talk about dogs go to Purina.com!!!!!! Yeeesh!





P.S. Don't you feel like your on GMN now?????

Reply by colorless/AZ on 12/18/04 10:15pm
Msg #14073

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

meany gut

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/18/04 11:08pm
Msg #14080

Re: Hi, Folks! (Notary Dog Training)

Jon, excellent desensitizing training!

Reply by LauraV on 12/19/04 11:12am
Msg #14093

Sounds like dating a man to me

This sounds much more like dating a man to me. Let's adjust:

About training -

(1) It takes a lot of time and patience to train a MAN to have good manners and to be able to pass the DATABLE MAN training course.

(2) When you leave the house (if HE are not invited) tell them you are going "OUT WITH THE GIRLS." That way they learn when you say "GIRLS" that HIM riding along is not an option. Pretty soon, the fight of getting out the door (once they are crate trained) does not happen and they know you are leaving but will come back.

They are very smart. Help them understand how long you will be gone so they won't get destructive. If you are only going to be gone a short while say "GIRLS" but also say you'll be back in "two minutes" so they know you will be home in a few minutes. If you will be gone several hours say "SHOPPING" so they know you are coming back after a long amount of time. They learn to react by words/actions & consequences.

When the MAN is allowed to go, I tell HIM "We have to go to *town.* Go find your *TIE.*"

(3) TIE training: MEN hate TIES at first. Put a light cheap one on HIM to wear around the house when HE'S walking well. That way HE is not afraid of it and won't fight it when you start having to put HIM on one to walk HIM.

(4) Show displeasure by not meeting HIS gaze. For instance, when I want mine to sit still while I put on HIS TIE to go for a walk, I hold the TIE and will not look at HIM while HE jumps around and SNAPS AT ME. When HE sits still and waits patiently I look at HIM, pet HIM, and then snap on HIS TIE. Use the "good gaze & praise" method to teach them good behavior.

I trained mine not to get into the KITCHEN while I was gone by saying "Look at this mess!" and not looking at HIM while I picked it up. After I finished cleaning it up, I would look very sad and not look at HIM while HE acted "cute" and happy to see me. After a minute I would sit down and call HIM to me to make up with HIM.

(5) Get a few small SLEDGE HAMMERS to softly toss *at* HIM when HE'S acting badly so that HE connects bad behavior with an unwelcome consequence.

(6) Never let HIM get in the habit of jumping on you so HE won't jump on OTHER WOMEN. (Use "NO!," fold your arms, and don't look at HIM when HE does it. Love on HIM when HE sits and waits for you to pet HIM.

(7) If you don't want HIM to beg FOR SEX while you are DATING, put HIM in HIS crate and say you have to go to *bed ALONE*. I am *SLEEPING.* AFTER THE WEDDING, HE'LL learn that "We are SLEEPING." means go get in your bed.

(8) MESSY BEER DRINKING training...I used modified crate training on mine. When you cannot watch them, you need to keep them in a crate to teach them about "going outside." Mine was ill when I got HIM, so my lap was part of HIS crate training (thus the "Modified"). I sat and held HIM a lot of the time. And then I took HIM out as soon as HE woke up. When they are small, put them in the crate when you have to leave the house so they don't find a nice little hidden patch in your home. Brag on HIM when HE does the right thing. Use a word while HE is doing the right thing so that as HE gets older, HE connects the word with what you want to get done right then (i.e., you are outside and it's freezing, but HE wants to prance around and SNIFF. Keep saying the word/words for BEER time and pretty soon they'll learn to perform upon command.)

The security part, and alarm barking, comes naturally.

Reply by BrendaTX on 12/19/04 11:22am
Msg #14095

Laura...You are SOOOO bad LOL n/m

Reply by LauraV on 12/19/04 11:30am
Msg #14097

I may not be an Aggie, but I DO have attitude! n/m

Reply by HisHughness on 12/19/04 2:45pm
Msg #14101

Re: Sounds like dating a man to me

Laura...
Are you sure we weren't married at one time? In fact, are you sure you're not currently divorcing me?

Reply by LauraV on 12/19/04 3:16pm
Msg #14103

To Hugh

If you had been married to me, you would be better trained.

If I had been married to you, I wouldn't be a divorcee. I would be a widow.

; )

Fondly,
Laura

Reply by PAW Notary Services on 12/18/04 7:31am
Msg #13998

Ah, but the question was "Who is Faustus?"

Legend has it that Faustus was a German alchemist who sold his soul to Mephistopheles in exchange for knowledge. Thus the word 'faustian'.

After looking at all those words, it appears the Hugh has tried to exchange his soul for power and knowledge, but only ended up as a second rate spear chucker from down under.

Reply by Fay, CA on 12/18/04 1:01pm
Msg #14019

Now That's Funny!

Reply by Charlotte TX on 12/18/04 8:12am
Msg #14001

Whoops, I was almost asleep when I posted the meanings last nite...

anatagonist means; hostlity

deuteragononist means; a greek word for second actor

maybe I gat this fixed before hishugeness wakes up.