Reply by Jon on 4/27/05 4:52pm
Msg #34402
......to date my daughter:
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married ____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo_________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?____________________
_______________________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________________________________________________________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend __________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential
(That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is ________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her Is ( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________
16. By submitting this application you agree to hold the recipient(me) harmless for any action taken that my cause you bodily harm, injury or death.
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)
State of
County of
Subscribed and sworn to and before me on this ____ day of _______, 20_____ by ____________________ personally known to me or proved to me to on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person(s) who appeared before me.
(Notary Stamp)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back)
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Reply by missy_socal on 4/27/05 7:31pm
Msg #34438
Date? What is this 'Date' you speak of??
Not going to happen on my watch! Our daughter is nine, and we've already established that any boy/girl socializing outside of school will happen in my home. On an uncomfortable chair. Sitting across from my husband and I. :-)
And Jon....as to your other post: No chickening out! I have some great books on the subject, which makes the conversations go a *little* bit smoother. Sort of.
Just be prepared for awkward questions at inopportune moments (oh, the stories I have!).
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Reply by Sylvia_FL on 4/27/05 8:54pm
Msg #34484
Re: Date? What is this 'Date' you speak of??
"On an uncomfortable chair. Sitting across from my husband and I. :-)"
That reminds me of the time my youngest daughter brought her young man home!
I had only just discovered that day that the person she was seeing was 10 years older than her - she had a year left to graduation, so 10 years was a big difference.
I told her she better have him over to the house that evening for a "chat" and I was going to do some checking in the meantime, and by the time he arrived I would know all I could about him down to the brand of toothpaste he used!
So, he came over and I "grilled" him <g> and he was surprised how much I knew about him.
I said "and you use Colgate toothpaste" - he just about died, he had no idea how I knew that!
We knew that if we forbid her to see him that she would only sneak out and see him, so we set rules. She could see him, but he had to come to the house to pick her up, and have her back by a certain time, and we had to know where they were going.
She married him and they are very happy. Have two beautiful little boys (ages 3 and 5). The 10 years is not so much now she is 30 and he is 40.
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