Posted by Melody on 4/8/05 7:18pm
Msg #30551

You know it is last week to sign when...

You know it is last week to sign when...


You have run out of clean dishes although you have place settings for 12 and live alone with your dog.

Your kitchen trash is filled with Chinese Food containers.

Your vacuum cleaner has been sitting in the living room for days. You notice that if anyone stopped by, it would appear you were in the middle of house cleaning. This seems to be a good idea.

If you try to slip in a nap, you place your cell phone next to your pillow.

You get your socks and undies from your clothes dryer, not your dresser.

You have a glass of Ovaltine and call it breakfast.

Your ironing board is set up in your home office and is stacked with papers.

You want a cigarette even though you have never smoked.

You look at your calendar to schedule each day's shower.

Happy Meals start to sound good.

After your shower, you look at the mirror and see that you have just smeared hair mousse all over your face.



These are all true. I am still recovering from End of March.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/8/05 7:29pm
Msg #30554

When you reach my age, Mel, the breakfast Ovaltine has become Postum.

Reply by Becca/FL on 4/8/05 7:51pm
Msg #30556

Oh my God, Melody. You mean I'm not the only one? Thank you for making me feel "normal."
I can relate to every line, but I don't drink Ovaltine.

Reply by Lisa/WI on 4/8/05 8:07pm
Msg #30559

This was absolutely gut busting. Thanx for the good laugh. You gave a true visual of a signing agent at their best!!

Reply by BrendaTX on 4/8/05 8:34pm
Msg #30562

Grand, Melody! LOL, I'll add...
-------

There are more towels on the kitchen table than in the cabinet.

The closet floor is a danger zone with wire hangers from the cleaners piled in with a coating of plastic bags ripped off in haste.

There's a rat's nest of Mapquest maps in your car along with several Diet Coke cans, and discarded FEDEX envelopes. There's one badly mangled Rand-McNally Texas County Road Atlas waiting to be liberated from the pile and returned to it's rightful place behind my seat.

Every tube of lipstick and every hair brush in the house has jumped from the bathroom drawer, into my purse and congregated in my car...and I have dry lips and hair like Phyllis Diller.

Oh yes...There's a pile of jewelry by my keyboard.

Reply by Lorraine/FL on 4/9/05 12:40am
Msg #30626

I had a signing tonite, got dressed, ran out to the car and brushed my hair by the glare from the window, came back inside and applied lipstick. I did think that I might want to comb my hair tomorrow too, so I did manage to bring a brush inside. Sigh...

Reply by Linda/NJ on 4/8/05 9:14pm
Msg #30570

I have to print this for my husband. He is really out of the "end of the month" loop. Maybe this will make him understand. LOL

Reply by calipat on 4/8/05 9:52pm
Msg #30583

You walk in the front door and the dogs bark at you thinking you are a stranger.

Your children look at you and wonder who you are....you look at them and wonder who they are and think do I have the documents for them to sign.

You have post-its all over your computer to remind yourself to do other things besides signings all day and night.

You have all sorts of breakfast bars and mints in your car.

You have to go out to your car in the morning to get your make-up bag.

You carry a spare toothbrush and toothpaste in the car and try to get a quick brush up at McDonald's.

I could go on and on as many of you can, but I do enjoy my job, and these are just a few of the things that are so totally true in my life.

Reply by Jeanie.Fl on 4/8/05 10:33pm
Msg #30595

...and a few more...

You have enough dog hair "bunnies" floating on the floor to knit a car cover.

The neighborhood kids are giving "jungle adventure tours" in your lawn.

You lie to your friends and tell them you replaced your clear glass table tops with frosted.

You know your UPS/FedEx man's kids by name but can't remember your own.

Your friends have to call you on your cell phone because all they get at your home number is a fax tone.

Your idea of a vacation is turning off the cell phone.

Your friends are used to flushing noises in the back ground because that's the only time you can spare to talk to them.

When someone calls after you've gone to sleep you anwser the phone with "I'm still waiting for the docs!".

People think you're a Peeping Tom because you're shining a light beam on their house that could read the registry numbers on the space station.

LOL

Reply by BrendaTx on 4/9/05 12:42am
Msg #30628

*You have enough dog hair "bunnies" floating on the floor to knit a car cover.*

Can I ever relate to that!

Reply by skippy/ca on 4/8/05 10:40pm
Msg #30598

Oh my gosh this is all so true. Carzy!!!! n/m

Reply by DellaCa on 4/8/05 11:05pm
Msg #30601

Re: Love It Just Love It N/M

Reply by kmnotary_CA on 4/8/05 11:06pm
Msg #30602

Re: Love It Just Love It N/M

Ditto to all......

Reply by HisHughness on 4/8/05 11:38pm
Msg #30606

You guys are absolutely fantastic!!!

Reply by MelissaNV on 4/8/05 11:52pm
Msg #30613

Stop it you guys, you are going to scare all of us newbies off!!!!!

Reply by Melody on 4/9/05 12:38am
Msg #30625

Hugh

Hugh, my Dearest,

Not one of us who has posted so far is a guy.

We are all gals.

Admit that you have been caught with your pants down and blush.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/9/05 12:44am
Msg #30631

Re: Hugh

Melody sniggers:

***Not one of us who has posted so far is a guy.***

The one thing that Texas and New Jersey have in common is that "guys" is a non-gender specific noun. The singular, on the other hand, is always male.

Reply by Melody on 4/9/05 12:48am
Msg #30632

Re: Hugh

Only Brenda is in Texas.

And she is such a lovely woman that I doubt you would refer to her a guy.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/9/05 12:59am
Msg #30638

Re: Hugh

Melody notes:

***And she is such a lovely woman that I doubt you would refer to her a guy.***

Brenda has shown a persistent and quite disappointing interest in proving to me that she is a woman.

Reply by Melody on 4/9/05 1:15am
Msg #30642

Re: Hugh

I will not even TOUCH that comment!!!!!!

Reply by Melody on 4/9/05 1:50am
Msg #30645

Re: Hugh

You are in such serious and deep trouble I cannot imagine how you will recover.

You are On Your Own!

Brenda -
Show Mercy or Not, as you wish.

Reply by Melody on 4/9/05 12:49am
Msg #30633

Re: Hugh

And I never snigger.

It is un-ladylike.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/9/05 12:52am
Msg #30635

Re: Hugh

As previously noted:

***The one thing that Texas and New Jersey have in common is that "guys" is a non-gender specific noun. The singular, on the other hand, is always male.***

To amplify, in Texas, one can usually interchange "guy" with "gal," provided the object of the observation is female and as long as you are at least 25 miles outside the Austin city limits and away from the rabid contingent of feminists that lurks there. Use of that descriptive in New Jersey, on the other hand, would at a minimum earn a puzzled and probably hostile glance, and in some cases the forceful application of a Louisville Slugger to your kneecaps.

Reply by Ernest_CT on 4/9/05 7:40pm
Msg #30738

Except in NJ it would be "Youse guys". n/m

Reply by christi/socal on 4/9/05 12:56am
Msg #30637

Re: Hugh

Guys are not gender specific in cali either!

Reply by Melody on 4/8/05 11:55pm
Msg #30614

I forgot one

You look in the rearview mirror as you are backing out of your driveway. You notice you applied eyebrow makeup to only one side.



Thanks to the many others who posted! These confessions are a riot!

Reply by christi/socal on 4/9/05 12:28am
Msg #30619

laughing aloud at the comp w/ my kids stareing wide eyed!

Reply by Jon on 4/9/05 11:48am
Msg #30679

Re: I forgot one

Funny, I never seem to have that eyebrow makeup to one side problem.

Reply by Roberta/CA on 4/9/05 12:30am
Msg #30620

Re: THANK YOU ALL ........

Priceless !!!!
I had to print them off.......
I am thinking of framing them too....
Love it .....soooo true

Reply by Lalas_socal on 4/9/05 1:08am
Msg #30640

another one....

the midnight crew at the 24hr grocery knows you by name.

Reply by tulsa_prlgl on 4/9/05 9:20am
Msg #30652

Re: another one....

you are at your 7 year old son's baseball game holding a briefcase, about to leave for a signing and talking to the signing service about another signing when your son makes an awesome play and you start jumping up and down and screaming ..... wooooohoooooooooooooo..... right into their ear!!


lol, this is right after she told me it was an ameriquest loan.

Reply by LawrenceOK on 4/9/05 10:34am
Msg #30666

Re: Or this one....

You can pass yourself on the highway.

Reply by PAW_Fl on 4/9/05 11:03am
Msg #30675

Re: Or this one....

A prime candidate for the second phase of the sleep deprivation trials at the neurology clinic.