Posted by Markita-MI on 8/21/05 9:58am
Msg #60544

Ladies...how uncomfortable are you when...

you go to a signing in a man's home and he has nude female pictures flashing (touching themselves or posed in positions)on his 40-50 inch plasma screensaver?

I did a purchase Friday and it was WOW..unbelieveable. The seller(man) and buyer(man) did not even seem to notice that this was flashing right in the middle of the signing. I ignored it but it made me very uncomfortable. This by far is one of the weirdest not to mention most uncomfortable signings I've ever had. I tried to move it along as quickly as possible. Needless to say, this closing took me about 1.5 hours because there were questions about the amounts to be paid to the seller...had to speak with loan officer and eventually his boss.

Before it was all over, I had been served cake and berries,coke,told what a great body I have, and asked out repeatedly.

I figured it must be the new shoes because other than that nothing is different about my attire. So, I did a mental check of my attire---black suit with typical shell top,nylons and pump like mules. Nope nothing unusual there. I'm in a business suit! At times like these,I am glad I carry mace with me.

Fortunately, it closed and I got the blazes out of there.

Markita-MI

Reply by BLE on 8/21/05 10:16am
Msg #60547

This would have made me terribly uncomfortable, too. I never accept food/drink from borrower.

Reply by Paul2_FL on 8/21/05 10:38am
Msg #60551

From a man's perspective I would say you did a signing with two ignorant immature idiots. There are two things to keep in mind in a situation like this. 1) - YOU are in control of the signing and therefore can walk away from it if you feel uncomfortable and, 2) - THEY want/need to get the signing done as quickly as possible. I would bet that if you told them you would not continue with the signing unless the screensaver was turned off, they would have done so and the signing would have gone quickly and QUIETLY! (IMHO)

Reply by CaliNotary on 8/21/05 8:06pm
Msg #60643

"I would bet that if you told them you would not continue with the signing unless the screensaver was turned off, they would have done so"

Why break out the threats so early? Wouldn't it make more sense to first ask them politely to turn it off? Most civil people would turn it off without a second thought. Of course, most civil people wouldn't be asking out the signing agent in the middle of a signing so who knows if that would have worked on these guys.

Reply by CalGal on 8/21/05 11:13am
Msg #60561

I never accept food from borrowers, only bottled water.

Reply by MsRobboPA on 8/21/05 10:38am
Msg #60550

You know, I always find it difficult when I have a closing with one male signer. When I go to these closings I leave all of my info at home with my family in case of any problems. Fortunately I haven't had any with nude pics on the TV though. I think that I would just ignore them and try to concentrate on the signing. The less said the better. Some men are just want you to notice them and think that's the best way to get your attention. The worst part of our job is you never know what you'll get for borrowers!!! As far as the shoes go, I usually wear flats, their not as sexy as heels to some guys!

Reply by NY_TaxLady on 8/21/05 11:12am
Msg #60560

I just tell them to turn off the TV whether it be cartoons or anything else. I need their attention.

Reply by maryinsocal on 8/21/05 12:18pm
Msg #60571

Yep...thats what I do as well...less distraction the better. Turn everything off ...Make that known in the beginning of the signing and everything is fine. They comply with that request most of the time.

Reply by Sharon/CA on 8/21/05 9:37pm
Msg #60662

LOL.. ya know.. I always just dress as conservative as I possibly can. One might think at times I look like one of those "nannies" on the TV Show "Nanny 911"... lol.. but I'm clean and professional looking and I'm comfortable, but FAR from SeXy.. tee heee. Also, I give the appearance and attitude that I'm there to do business, this is NOT a social call! Anyway,, just my two cents!

Reply by CalGal on 8/21/05 11:18am
Msg #60563

I did a signing where the borrower was cussing (f-word) about his loan docs. He refused to sign the docs and I told my signing service not to send me back there. I also, did a signing where the borrowers were watching a r-rated movie with lots of profanity. That was uncomfortable! The worst signing I did was when the borrowers were fighting. Mr. wasn't there and refused to sign, but were arguing back and forth on the phone. Mrs. signed that day and both signed at a later date.

Reply by LilyMD on 8/21/05 11:31am
Msg #60565

I can also say I've had signings that were filled with not so great words. The worst for me was a man who "f***" every other word about the lender's paperwork not being what he was promised. I was the third notary sent to this signing in 3 weeks! Well, Mr. Borrower was just plain mad at the lender when I got there. When Mr. Borrower saw the HUD he just grabbed the entire folder of docs and threw it into his woodburning stove! It was January and the fire was lit. I was not going in after them. He rudely asked me to leave. I did get paid trip and edoc fees for that one!

Reply by calipat/ca on 8/21/05 1:35pm
Msg #60584

I always and I mean always ask if there is going to be anyone else at the signing. If it is a NO then we always meet somewhere else. I never ever accept anything from the borrower's to eat or drink. On occassion they offer something as I am leaving if it is bottled water I sometimes say yes. If it is soda it is always a NO. Caffeine and my body do not do well at signings....makes me talk to fast and also makes me a bit jittery.
I would have also brought it to their attention that the TV was making me uncomfortable and if they did not turn it off I would have called SS and left. I am sure they knew that you saw what was on and therefore they were constatntly asking you out.....BUNCH OF PIGS... IMO!!
I learned to always be in control of the signing.

Reply by Notary in So Cal on 8/21/05 4:35pm
Msg #60617

Well, you may or may not know that the San Fernando Valley (area north of LA) is the capital for adult film production. I live here and it's a well-known fact that there are adult film production companies everywhere.

Anyway, I have a signing tomorrow and when I called the borrower to confirm the signing, his answering machine said, "Welcome to XYZ Productions, we do Hard Core".

So, now I'm a little uncomfortable going to this guy's house. Not afraid, but I just hope the atmosphere is normal. It's in a very nice area, and he sounded relatively fine on the phone. But still.....makes me a little uncomfortable.

I guess that's part of the job, but I know what you mean. I don't like going to a single man's home at all. I always leave the address info with my husband, just in case.

Reply by CaliNotary on 8/21/05 8:17pm
Msg #60649

Lucky you, I never get the porn signings :(

The closest I've come was doing a signing at the offices of Condomania.

Reply by CaliNotary on 8/21/05 8:15pm
Msg #60648

The first time they made a comment about your body or asked you out you should have made it crystal clear that they were acting inappropriately. If that was followed by a second time, you should have packed up immediately and left. You should have also asked them to turn off the computer screen as soon as you noticed it and if they refused, left immediately.

If adult men cannot comprehend what is and is not appropriate during a business meeting and are unwilling to comply with a simple request like shutting off the computer screen or refraining from inappropriate comments, you have absolutely no obligation to stick around another second. I'd say that it would actually be foolish NOT to leave, if that line isn't clear to them, who knows what other lines they're willing to cross? If it screws up their loan, so what? Your safety is much more important.

We have instincts for a reason. If they're screaming warnings at you LISTEN TO THEM!

Reply by Sharon/CA on 8/21/05 9:50pm
Msg #60666

I agree with Calinotary.... don't allow ANYONE to make you the VICTIM. Take control.. and just leave!.. go down the block and call your SS and explain what happened and tell them I will not complete the signing unless it is rescheduled in a place that is neutral "dennys" or something. Or.. just tell them and refuse the signng... there is not enough money in the world to pay if something were to happen, especially the usual amount of money we get for these signings!

Reply by Nancy in Florida on 8/21/05 10:44pm
Msg #60676

I had one last week that the borrower wanted the signing at his job, I said okay, then he told me he worked at an adult video store. The location happened to be in a nasty part of town and it was a Friday evening. I got off the phone and called the SS and they were unaware of the location of the closing and told me to call the TC and see if the location can be changed, if not they would get a male notary. The TC was trying to change the location but then the closing was postponed by the lender for another reason. When the TC called to tell me she said that they will get a male to do the closing then next time because this borrower will not close anywhere else but at the porn video store. Aparently he is very open and free spirited and thinks everyone should be as well. The SS totally understood and they will get a male for that closing when it is rescheduled. I just thought that the location of the store and the store itself was not a safe or appropriate enviornment to conduct a closing.

I would have been uncomfortable with the behavior of those borrowers with the screen saver and their comments were inappropriate. We do not have to tolerate that type of behavior.

Reply by Lee/AR on 8/21/05 11:34pm
Msg #60685

Markita... responses seem to be 'blaming the victim', but

you really do need to think about the situation that you endured and come up with a plan should it or something similar ever happen again. This was very inappropriate behaviour on the part of these 'boys'. Consider it a learning experience. Figure out how you can take control of the situation. Practise it so many times that you don't even have to think about it if there ever is a 'next time'. Nobody can empower you to stand up for yourself. You have to do that by yourself & for yourself.