Posted by BP/WV on 12/21/05 5:13pm
Msg #83941
Christmas Party Memo
Christmas Party Memo
--------------------
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the
private function room at the Grill House. There will be a
cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please
feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the
Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m..
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time,
however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of
gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director
will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important
holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though
unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'..
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas
carols sung. We will have other types of music for your
enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't
sign your name.
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign
on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous
anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now
since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money
and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December
20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids
eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the
party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this
time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving
your meal until the end of the party - or else package
everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy
bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will
get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to
sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay
men, each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's
table too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross
dressing allowed.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food
will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the
salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high
blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh
fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot
supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F***ING Employees
DATE: 8 November
RE: The F***ING Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people !!! We're
going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like
it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from
the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get
your f***ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you
know tomatoes have feelings too, They scream when you slice
them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right
NOW!!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a
speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to
her.
In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of
the 23rd December off with full pay.
|
Reply by SignerCA on 12/22/05 11:01am
Msg #84118
As a former HR Assistant...
for an international, multi-racial, multi-ethnic, multi-cultural company, I can totaly relate. I began to loath the planning of our company holiday parties, they were too much work. This is too funny.
|
