Posted by Anonymous on 6/4/05 12:44am
Msg #42247

Being able to fly with UPS, FedEX ETC... Please read..

Hi I heard that we as notaries could fly with UPS and FedEx at a discounted price because we are notaries can someone please confirm and if it is true please let me know how I could do that.

Reply by PAW_Fl on 6/4/05 7:41am
Msg #42264

I'm not sure how you could do that, short of stuffing yourself in their envelopes? UPS, FedEx and DHL are not commercial passenger carriers. They are cargo transporters.

Reply by LawrenceOK on 6/4/05 8:07am
Msg #42266

I used to fly on cargo transports all the time Paw, and for free, but never with FedEx or UPS.

Reply by PAW_Fl on 6/4/05 10:02am
Msg #42279

I did too, and still can (military). However, as far as I know, fare paying passengers are not authorized on freight carriers, such as FedEx, DHL and UPS. IOW, they aren't licensed as a civil aviation passenger carrier. There are "passengers" on those flights, but they are employees of the freight company, not fare paying passengers.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 6/4/05 2:33pm
Msg #42341

Love those military hops. Cost Bruce and me $25 to fly to England last time we went ($12.50 each) Coming back was a little more expensive $24.00 each) because, they said, we were coming through customs. Was worth driving up to Baltimore to get the hop.

Reply by Stephen_VA on 6/4/05 8:45am
Msg #42269

Their planes have limited passengere capacity I believe... bring a volleyball if you go.

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 9:11am
Msg #42271

tee hee, Stephen... (:>) n/m

Reply by HisHughness on 6/4/05 11:11am
Msg #42291

Re: tee hee, Stephen... (:>) n/m

Stephen warns, of the possibility of flying as a passenger on courier cargo planes:

***Their planes have limited passengere capacity I believe... bring a volleyball if you go.***

Okay, Stephen, I've read that post four or five times, and I still don't understand the humor of it. And it bugs the hell out of me that Brenda, of all the people in the whole damned world, apparently gets it when I don't. The way the system works is, Brenda is supposed to laugh at my jokes, not laugh at jokes I don't understand. How about letting me in on the secret? What does a volleyball have to do with flying FedEx?

Reply by missy_socal on 6/4/05 11:15am
Msg #42294

Tom Hanks in 'Cast Away'

--'Wilson' was the volleyball!

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 11:18am
Msg #42297

Re: Tom Hanks...that's right Missy! The prize goes to the..

lady in the red dress. Someone hand that gal a beer...or a
glass of bass, or orange juice.

It's on me.

Reply by missy_socal on 6/4/05 11:22am
Msg #42302

better make it Star$'s...it's still AM here!

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 11:26am
Msg #42304

Re: better make it Star$'s...it's still AM here!

Yeah, it's morning here too, but I have already walked the dogs twice, gotten an edoc package ready to go for a 2 pm, and been down to get new tires.

Nothing like going to downtown College Station and hanging out with a bunch of men pacing, scratching and spitting early on a Saturday morning.

I purchase new tires 12-15 times per year.

Reply by missy_socal on 6/4/05 11:51am
Msg #42309

Brenda's bustling...

...and I'm still in my pajamas! It's the start of the June Gloom marine layer mornings....grey and chilly. Perfect time for waffles, coffee, and the morning paper!

Reply by Melody on 6/4/05 1:44pm
Msg #42326

Now I know why Hugh wants a bass boat.

Duh me!

When Brenda said we should hand the gal a bass, I bet Brenda meant a beer.

That's what Hugh wants! A boat full of beer!

Makes MUCH more sense!

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 4:09pm
Msg #42351

Nope -- I was thinking about the old "Bass-o-matic."

Circa 1977 - SNL spoofing Ronco.

Chevy Chase (I think) dropped a fish (bass) into a blender and hit the start button. The fish was liquified right there on SNL. The next thing -- he cuts off the blender, whips out a glass pours it full, and says: "How about a nice glass of bass?"

The skit concludes with: RONCO BASS-O-MATIC - Have a glass of bass!

I never forget the really funny stuff...Here's another line from that golden era of comedy:

"The monkey live here, you just visitin'! "
From: Madam Rudolph/By the funnyman: Richard Pryor

Madam Rudolph was a witch. A couple of guys went to see her for "treatment." Madame R. had a monkey-- the monkey put his little bitty monkey hands all over the guest telling the story--and when he complained, Madame Rudolph said "Fool, the monkey live here, you just visitin' !"

I often say this to myself on signings when the dog is
gassy or sheds three pounds of fur on my black suit.

If you think about it, Madame Rudolph has a point - it makes a whole lot of sense.

Reply by missy_socal on 6/4/05 4:18pm
Msg #42352

Re: Nope -- I was thinking about the old "Bass-o-matic."

"Madame Rudolph said "Fool, the monkey live here, you just visitin' !""

And 100% of the time you're thinking...."Thank <b>God</b>!"

I had one of the *most* uncomfortable signings ever a bit ago (it was actually my first refuse-to-sign), and that sentiment was first and foremost in my mind. Thank God that I actually get to walk out the door, and into my own life!

Reply by HisHughness on 6/4/05 4:19pm
Msg #42353

Re: Nope -- I was thinking about the old "Bass-o-matic."

Brenda recounts:

***I often say this to myself on signings when the dog is gassy or sheds three pounds of fur on my black suit. ***

I hate those damn gassy dogs. I always get the impression the homeowners are blaming me. One time I did, indeed, have a silent gastrointestinal event, and piped up, "You know, inexpensive dry dog food really gives dogs gas."

"We only have two cats and a rabbit," the wife responded, somewhat stonily.

Only later did I discover that rabbits, because of their strictly vegetarian diet, are notorious generators of methane. I could easily have gotten myself off the hook.

Reply by hcampers/fl on 6/4/05 5:45pm
Msg #42374

Re: Nope -- I was thinking about the old "Bass-o-matic."

It was Dan Akroyd (sp)?

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 6:52pm
Msg #42392

Re: Nope -- I was thinking about the old "Bass-o-matic."

Probably Dan...one of the old crew, anyhow.

I just remember sitting in the living room of a friend's house in a 70's haze. It was quite a shock to see the bass turn to liquid.

Reply by BrendaTX on 6/4/05 11:17am
Msg #42295

Re: tee hee, Stephen... (:>) n/m

Brenda (of all people, huff huff) has a very good sense of humor and a memory like an elephant where humor is concerned.

Let's see if anyone else remembers why this is funny.

Reply by HisHughness on 6/4/05 11:54am
Msg #42310

Re: tee hee, Stephen... (:>) n/m

All right. Now I remember.

Stephen, please accept my apologies for having gotten off a zinger that went over my head. The line deserved far better than that.

Getting one-upped by Brenda is not my choice of ways to start the weekend.

Reply by Cherilyn in CO on 6/4/05 11:21am
Msg #42301

and it was a Fed Ex caused Tom Hanks to become a castaway..

That scene when the plane goes down still give me nightmares. I have to be heavily drugged to get on an airplane as it is. That movie didn't help.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 6/4/05 2:37pm
Msg #42342

Re: and it was a Fed Ex caused Tom Hanks to become a castaway..

You too Cherylyn? The doctor always gives me Xanax when I have to fly.

Reply by Cherilyn in CO on 6/4/05 2:59pm
Msg #42346

for me it's valium and a martini :-) nt