Posted by AngelinaAZ on 6/14/05 11:06pm
Msg #44716

Tales of A Notary Signing Agent

I had a guy today, I can’t even remember what he looked like because all I saw was that he had a booger hanger in his nose… HUGE. I can’t believe he couldn’t feel it! I could not stop looking at it. I am just one of those people that can’t NOT LOOK. You know, like when you are talking to someone who has one of those little spitballs in the middle of their bottom lip and when they say a P it takes a journey to the top lip, you could hypnotize me with that… I just HAVE to look. And this sucker was looking back. Well the guy obviously thought he was ‘money’ and kept cracking jokes and then laughing loud and long at himself. He was in the middle of telling me (he never stopped signing by the way… quite the multi-tasker) about the girl at the Circle K down the road that would write her number on a dollar every time she gave him change and he had the dollar graveyard strewn across the table proudly to show it… he snorted that he would never EVER call her…. and that sucker dislodged and flew out and landed smack dab in the middle of the Occupancy Affidavit. He froze and looked at me in shock and I looked at him… horrified. He kind of sighed and flicked it off onto the floor but it left a big ol’ smudge on the paper. He tried to wipe it off with a napkin but the smudge was there to stay and as he turned to the next page the SILENCE was deafening.

I gave him a big smile and said, “Well you should be glad it wasn’t on the Deed of Trust or I would have had to ask you initial it.” We both cracked up.

Weird or not, most of the time I love the crazy area I work in…I laugh a lot and I love to laugh… it’s good for the soul!

Reply by anonymous on 6/14/05 11:09pm
Msg #44717

This was so entertaining, love it!

Reply by Nicole_NCali on 6/14/05 11:15pm
Msg #44718

Ewwwwwww...gross..

I am also hypnotized by boogers and spitballs too. Yet, I am the type who tell the individual to blow their nose. I just haven't figured out how to help the people with halitosis. I started bringing certs and lifesavers to my signings, but this one ole gal put one in her mouth and started to choke. Scared me for a moment before I remembered that I used to be a Hospital Corpsman..I figure my liability insurance wouldn't cover an incomplete signing due to "asphyxiation due to lifesaver".

I stopped bringing these by the way...

Reply by BK_FL on 6/14/05 11:55pm
Msg #44734

Great writing style! I felt like I was almost there reading your post! Tears are running down my cheek!
Asking if he had a cold and wanted to blow his nose or wash his face might have given him a hint?! If not asking for a tissue and then handing it to him to blow his nose would have also worked! Does for my kids! Just try not to hold the tissue in front of the clients nose and say blow harder, like I do for my kids! BK/FL

Reply by DonnanorthernCA on 6/15/05 12:20am
Msg #44741

That was a great silence breaker-good thinking!
A safer item than certs would be a listerine breath strip- with an opening comment such as "excuse me, my mouth tastes like cardboard" and then offer one to the person who actually needs it.
I recently asked a security guard at the local indian casino if they could please start handing out breath mints at the door.

Reply by CA_Jeanet on 6/15/05 1:47am
Msg #44756

Donna, what county are you in? would love to chat w/you if you are near me in Butte.

Reply by Markita-MI on 6/15/05 6:57am
Msg #44763

I loved getting up to this, this morning. Thank you what a nice way to start the day....laughing. I think that takes the cake for embarrassing moments but you definitely score cool points for that crack about the DOT. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Ready. Set. And Sign.....

Go get 'em
Markita-MI

Reply by Goldie on 6/15/05 7:57am
Msg #44775

GREAT STORY!! GREAT LAUGH =) THANKS!

Reply by Sam on 6/15/05 10:12am
Msg #44790

AngelinaAZ - you tell the best... stories... EVER! n/m

Reply by janCA on 6/15/05 10:27am
Msg #44799

I was having a bad morning.....

and it's only 8:28, until I read this post. I can't stop laughing. You have made my day! Thanks, Angelina for sharing this hilarious signing with us.

Reply by Linda/NJ on 6/15/05 10:38am
Msg #44802

Too funny! Anyone else have funnies to tell!!!??

Reply by kellieco on 6/15/05 11:04am
Msg #44809

Way funny! One time I was on my way for a job interview and before I got there I had to sneeze. I was standing next to the guy talking and something was itching on my chest. (I had on a summer shirt so the top of my chest was bare) I rubbed it and a big wad came off in my hand. I was sooooo embarrassed. He didn't say a word and neither did I.

Reply by Susan/CA on 6/15/05 12:34pm
Msg #44838

This is not really funny but it did put a smile on my face and a $20.00 in the pocket of my young son. I got a call yesterday from a private party who asked if I could sign some papers for him and five other people. I was driving so I handed the phone to the gal I had with me and she took the information. In repeating the directions I realized it was in a part of another town that was, lets say uncomfortable. I decided to go but not alone so I asked my 15 year old to go with me and sit in the car. When I arrived I was a bit scared, it was a run down grocery store that had a bunch of seedy characters sitting outside. Inside was five pretty rough looking guys, two ladies and a bunch of customers. I made out 10 acknowledgments bent over a ice cream machine and notarized on the counter. Then I had 2 papers for homeland security that they wanted me to notarize.. made out 2 jurat's for that. Got paid well....left the store only to find my son with a car full of armor. He had his backpack full of his air soft guns, plastic knives in the visors and on the seats, his cell phone ready to hit the green button... all I could do is laugh when he said every time someone entered and exited the store they stared at him, he said he felt like a piece of of tri tip.
BTW, They were really nice people.. they were doing a franchise for another store in Palmdale. I left them my card and told them to call me anytime, but I would rather meet them at Denny's.
Lesson for my son .....it's what's on the inside that really matters..

Reply by SamIam_CA on 6/15/05 6:47pm
Msg #44941

**.....it's what's on the inside that really matters**

How true! My sister was up in Los Angles last week in the very 'wrong' part of town. When she pulled up to a convenience store she turned around all of her rings before she went inside. Turns out the guys in the store were very nice - held the door for her etc. The best part - they had on more bling than she did!

Reply by LarryL on 6/15/05 11:06am
Msg #44810

Tremendous tale !!! Loved the story. Excellent writing style. Keep writing - please !! Thanks for brightening my day.

Reply by jb/CA on 6/15/05 1:53pm
Msg #44865

I couldn't stop laughing.....this is hilarious!!
I had to copy it and send it off to all my notary friends.
Thanks for the laugh.

Reply by CAtitlegal on 6/15/05 5:10pm
Msg #44928

Another good one! I'm tellin ya Angelina...that title is catchy...a collection of short stories...you'd be a hit