Posted by Margaret/Florida on 3/14/05 4:17pm
Msg #25408

No more weddings for me

I have only done about 5 weddings and they have been for friends of the family. I did one Saturday and I have decided not to do anymore.

I was called in January and asked to do a wedding on March 12 on the beach. I told her I could do it and that I would need to meet them before the wedding. I kept in touch with her and her soon to be husband but she was so busy she could never find the time to meet with me. We live in the same small town. We were supposed to meet on Wednesday afternoon and she cancelled. Then she said we could me at 10:30am, the wedding was at 11:00am. Then she called and told me to come at 10:45am. I came at 10:45, no bride. I meet the whole family and they stated, The most important person is here!. The bride did not show up until 11:15 and then she went into hiding in the bedroom. I met met with the groom and told him that I needed to get their indentification and I needed to see the marriage license. Well the license was not good until 3/13 not 3/12. They got the license at the last minute and there is a 3-day waiting period. I then told them that I could do the ceremony since the families were all here today, but that I could not sign or notarize the marriage application and date it for Sunday. I told them that I would have to meet them on Sunday and do the official ceremony and I would then sign, notarize the application and mail off. I told them I would also need two witnesses to be there and witness and sign the application.
I had family here on Sunday and we were on the beach. They came down to where I was and we had another ceremony on the beach. The best part was that while we were on the beach, 3 whales were spotted with their calves and I got a picture. I should have charged them for 2 ceremonies but I did not.

Reply by David Waite on 3/14/05 6:17pm
Msg #25422

Didnt sound all that bad, sounds like the wife to be was nervous though.

Reply by Margaret/Florida on 3/14/05 6:23pm
Msg #25423

I turned down 6 signings for that time period. I can only charge $30 for the ceremony and I could have made a lot more

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 3/14/05 6:37pm
Msg #25426

Margaret

Don't let this one wedding put you off. I have done lots of weddings and I love them.
As to only charging $30, that is true - but you can charge for the other things you do for the wedding. You can only charge $30 for conducting the ceremony. But you have travel fees and time. Consultation with the bride and groom. There are lots you do other than the actual ceremony.

When I do a wedding, I help the couple with the vows, until they are satisfied. I also do the photography (I take a Canon EOS10D digital camera) - my husband takes the photos during the ceremony and I take the ones after. I put the photos on a CD for the couple, and I print out an 8x10 of their favourite one - on an Alps dye-sub printer.
I charge $100.
I also do weddings at a correctional facility, for those, I get $150 - travel time and inconvenience.

Look at all you do for the wedding and charge accordingly. If the couple want to come to me and I just perform the ceremony then I would only charge $30, but most want a beach wedding - or a skydiving wedding (my first one was a skydiving wedding).

Reply by PAW_Fl on 3/14/05 7:16pm
Msg #25427

Cookie-officiate stated: "I also do weddings at a correctional facility, for those, I get $150 - travel time and inconvenience."

Now I've always thought that the institution of marriage was a correctional facility. I mean, ever since being married, I've been corrected, often for the same "mistakes", over and over again.

Reply by Sheree_TX on 3/14/05 7:35pm
Msg #25430

lol, Paw, that was a good one!

Reply by Claudia - NJ on 3/14/05 7:58pm
Msg #25434

Re: No more weddings for me - PAW - LOL - n/m

Reply by HisHughness on 3/14/05 9:18pm
Msg #25439

That's enough of that, PAW. The role of class clown is already taken.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 3/14/05 10:07pm
Msg #25448

Re: No more weddings for me - Paul

And if Ann didn't correct you, I would have to.
And you should know better than to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I am going to have to have a word with Ann

Reply by Bernice on 3/15/05 12:07pm
Msg #25552

The Man's Prayer

"I'm a man, but I can change if I have to I guess."

I believe all men should say this prayer... just like the guys at the Possum Lodge.

Reply by Slarty_FL on 3/15/05 12:45pm
Msg #25567

Re: The Man's Prayer

Saw an amusing quip just yesterday that seems to apply:

A woman marries a man expecting that he will change and he never does.
A man marries a woman expecting she will never change and she does.

Reply by Jon on 3/15/05 5:57pm
Msg #25640

Re: The Man's Prayer

And for the men, remember:

"If the girls don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!!"

I wonder if Red has any contraptions to make life easier for signing agents????

Reply by David Waite on 3/15/05 7:49am
Msg #25483

Yeah as sylvia said, you can charge for your time and other services.

Reply by Korey Humphreys on 3/14/05 9:34pm
Msg #25442

Luckily we MA notaries don't bother with it n/m

Reply by Happy_in_Fl on 3/14/05 11:59pm
Msg #25463

Re: Luckily we MA notaries don't bother with it n/m

Ma. Weddings? Now there is a "Pandors Box" if ever one was!

Reply by Art_MD on 3/15/05 7:26am
Msg #25482

Re: new law in WV

New law states that after a divorce, you are no longer related by marriage, but you are still cousins.

Art

Reply by sue on 3/15/05 8:19am
Msg #25490

Margaret, I know nothing about the weddings since I'm not in Florida but it seems to me the mistake made was not insisting the happy couple meet with you once or twice well ahead of time. Too bad if she was busy - she would have made the time if you said you weren't doing it. I'd have made them meet me within 2 weeks of my acceptance and then again about 2 weeks prior to the ceremony or I'd have stepped aside.

Reply by Margaret/Florida on 3/15/05 8:39am
Msg #25494

Thanks guys, I may do more weddings but I will charge a larger fee and insist on meetings or no can do

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 3/15/05 8:46am
Msg #25495

Most of my weddings I don't get to meet the couple until just before the wedding.
(And in the case of the correctional institute weddings I don't even see the groom until he enters the chapel).
Other than the CI weddings, most of the planning is done via e-mail.

Reply by Josh_FL on 3/17/05 4:50am
Msg #25937

I always wondered about the max. that the state says you can charge for the ceremony. Don't want any Bush spies popping me for charging $100 for a wedding, but I guess if I can show expenses. Plus, would a gratuity from the couple be out of line? For example if you charge the $30, but they slip you a $100. Would this be unethical?

Reply by Art_MD on 3/17/05 8:26am
Msg #25960

Re:gratuity acceptable?

I would say take what they give you !!. If you've are or have been married, you know the amount of cash that goes to the priest/rabbi/minister, musicians, cleanup, master of ceremony, etc$$, etc$$ in the form of gratuities.
You are no different. You get a fee for the ceremony, but the planning, meetings etc are other services for which you charge. The gratuity is in response to the other brilliant work you did and is acceptable.

Art