Posted by Kimberly Crowe on 11/21/05 8:04am
Msg #77906
Monday OT, Deep Thoughts.....
#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
#2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account?
#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
#8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot"?
#18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
#19..In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the summer heat?
#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?
#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
#23..And my FAVORITE.....
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends; if they're okay, then it's you.
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