Posted by eXpedN_TX on 11/30/05 10:19am
Msg #79215
OT: English as the official language
I usually keep from adding these types of messages to this board, but I couldn't resist. Especially in the past couple days when people have been getting teased about their typo's.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would create "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20 percent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deteren to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v."
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and ozer vowel groupz kan be simplified az wel. After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikulties and evryvon vil find it ezy to understand each oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finaly kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German, like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad yu smil, ples pas it on to oza pepl.
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