Posted by Tina_MA on 11/19/05 10:19am
Msg #77647
OT: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I don't have a recipe to share, so I'm sharing this instead.
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "All set," he says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving AND paying their own way."
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Reply by Paul Hampton on 11/19/05 10:37am
Msg #77651
Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much on Thanksgiving
10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net. And you're still hungry.
9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams.
8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps.
7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge one of your kids.
6. Strangers keep addressing you as "Mr. President".
5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read "Good Lord!".
4. You now have an ass the size of Plymouth Rock.
3. People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over."
2. Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field.
1. You're sweatin' gravy, my friend!
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