Posted by Bonnie_CO on 10/7/05 10:33pm
Msg #69484
O/T - As luck would have it......
Thought Everyone might enjoy this bit of light entertainment!
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me
or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever
the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
------------------------
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything
if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven
years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because
the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the kind of
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed~ Rich As Hell and Free
LOL!
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