Posted by Bonnie_CO on 10/9/05 11:26pm
Msg #69674

O/T Computers....

Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.
(Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!)


IIIf a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?


Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives

Reply by Teddog_CO on 10/10/05 9:49am
Msg #69690

LOL!!!! You Missed your calling. Now you know at least you writing books if you get tired of the Dash & Sign job. LOL

Teddog_CO

Reply by PAW_Fl on 10/10/05 10:30am
Msg #69699

Unfortunately, I do not believe that Bonnie can claim authorship of that great work of art. The original one I have is almost 10 years old, written by Gene Ziegler. The entire poem is as follows:

What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals? Author: Gene Ziegler

A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer


Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
Bits in bytes on chips in box.
Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
Chips in box on ether-docks.

Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir. read the book, sir.
Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
You can make a quick trick chip stack.
You can make a quick trick clock stack.

And here's a new trick on the scene.
Bits in bytes for your machine.
Bytes in words to fill your screen.

Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.
Clocks on chips tock.
Eight byte bits tick.
Eight bit bytes tock.
Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Copyright © 1995 by Gene Ziegler.

Reply by Prairie Winds Notary Services, LLC - BONNIE on 10/10/05 11:19am
Msg #69709

LOL! No, I don't claim any credit for that one~! Lucky if I can actually get 2 words to rhyme! My Dad forwarded it to me via email, didn't say who the exact author was, just the Dr. Suess version of computers crashing. But thought it was funny, ( and OH so TRUE!) I have a very definate love/hate relationship with my PC! LOL

Reply by Gerry_VT on 10/10/05 4:13pm
Msg #69751

Dr. Seuss was only explaining software problems. To understand
hardware problems, you must understand that the active ingredient
of all electronic hardware is smoke. When the smoke escapes into
the air, the hardware stops working.