Posted by Charm_AL on 10/28/05 5:43pm
Msg #72934
wow is it Friday already???...my OT...
WAL-MART APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least
one that will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously,whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an
offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to
a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING
UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a
car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who
thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
Have a great weekend, two more signings tonite and I'm fallin' off my feet!
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