Posted by Iris_WA on 9/18/05 3:22pm
Msg #65940
OT - Ethnic Humor (two different endings)
One of my all-time favorite jokes. Will try to recapture it (except for the accent).
Imagine the best Jewish/Yiddish accent in English you can recall hearing. (Some of the old-time comedian routines might help bring it to your mind.) The joke:
Sam was a devout man. He consulted God in everything significant he did in his life before he did it. He was also a good-man -- kind-hearted, generous. He'd help out anyone who was down on their luck with either a hand-out or a meal -- that is, AFTER he consulted God as to the wisdom of the move.
When Sam was an adult, he asked God's permission to marry the woman with whom he'd fallen in love.
He asked God for help getting started in his business. "God, will Murray be a good partner for me?" "Please, Almighty One, is this the right name for the business?" "If you would be so kind, God, can you help me raise the money I need to get started." and on and on and on
When he learned his wife was expecting each child, he asked for God's infinite wisdom in naming each one.
He asked if it was safe to take each trip he was planning.
You get the idea: there was NOTHING requiring a decision on which Sam didn't consult God about.
Then one day, Sam's brother-in-law, Harry, won the lottery. Now Sam knew his brother-in-law to be a 'no-goodnik.' Harry NEVER contributed to the shul's "pishka" (a contribution box usually used for good works). Harry was the first to bad-mouth another. He was a womanizer, a gambler, and he was known to have more than a few on many occasions.
This gave Sam pause to reflect, and he wondered why HE never won the lottery and always had to work hard for every buck he made. So, Sam sat down and, after performing his usual prayers beforehand, he said "God, why is it that you let a no-goodnik like Harry win such a magnificent prize, but me ... I work hard for everything we have thanks to your benevolence; I ask your guidance on everything. Please, God, tell me why this should be!"
Suddenly, a booming voice comes from the heavens, and a voice that could only belong to one we call "God" said:
"First, Sam, you have to buy a ticket!"
ba-ta-bing! 
(And there's an alternative ending to this joke which goes: "Because, Sam, you're a PITA!")
He asked
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Reply by Charles_CA on 9/18/05 3:52pm
Msg #65950
Another one
One of my favorites is about this man who was stranded in a flood disaster and he was hanging in the water to keep from being swept away. He was a very devout man and was praying fervently for God to save him. Suddenly a little girl in an inner tube came floating by. "Hang on to my innertube and we'll both float downstream until we can find a place to climb out" said the little girl. The man said that he was praying and was sure that God would save him. The little girl floated away on the inner tube. The water continued to rise. Soon three people in a small boat floated by. One of the poeple in the boat shouted "Get in and we will take you to high ground". The the man refused saying that he was a believer and that God would save him. Finally a helicopter came hovered overhead and a man dropped down on a winch cable to hoist this devout man to the helicopter. The man refused saying that he was sure that God would save him. The water kept rising and the current got swifter and eventually the man had to let go and he drowned.
The man wakes up in heaven and is escorted around but he keeps asking why God didn't save him. Eventually he is wandering thorugh the garden of Eden and comes across God and asks why God did not save him.
God looked at the man and said, "I sent you a little girl in an inner tube, but that was not good enough for you, I sent you people in a boat but that still was not good enough for you. But when I sent you the helicopter and and you did not get on board I let you drown for being a fool.
Sometimes we need to see the Divine in the little things in life.
Best regards,
Charles
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Reply by Iris_WA on 9/18/05 5:15pm
Msg #65959
Yep -- another good one!
And a great lesson in how we impose our own expectations of how we think things should look!
We never know in what guise answers may come. Sometimes, we put our own expectations onto how we THINK they should look, and so miss opportunities in all phases of our lives. I've even seen it here when people seek answers from "experts." An individual may be an expert in ONLY that which they are giving the response, but because the answer does not come from those recognized by the asker as an "expert," it is not trusted.
(By the way, lest there be any misunderstanding, this is not directed at anyone in particular, nor am I guiltless with regard to expectations, though I do my utmost to accept everything as given and without preconceptions attached.)
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