Posted by HisHughness on 4/9/06 11:41pm
Msg #112394

Feast or feminine

For months after my wife and I separated, I couldn't get a date even with a palm tree right in my front yard. The only female who would sleep with me was Lucy the Chihuahua, and even then I had to persuade her with a doggie treat under my pillow.

Went to a dance Wednesday night; took a date. Thirty minutes into the dance, a woman I have been to lunch with a couple of times shows up; first time she's ever been to that particular club. She bails at the break, since I am quite obviously otherwise occupied. Thirty minutes later a woman from church whom I have been dating shows up; choir practice has just let out, and she wants to let her hair down. I'm taken, so she leaves a bit miffed. Through all this, sitting two tables away, is a woman I had already scheduled a date with for Friday night.

Friday night comes, she and I go to the OlPhartz club to trip the Light Geriatric. Bad choice. Already there is the guy with whom SHE was supposed to go out with that night, but who cancelled because his sister "had already made other plans." Okay. Seated at a table near the guy and his sister was the ex-boyfriend of the sister. HE was with a woman who blows in every few months from London, and with whom I have tried unsuccessfully to make a connection for most of the past year.

So the guy my date was supposed to go out with asks for a dance (with her, not with me), and tries to hustle her while they're out on the dance floor. Meanwhile, since I'm at loose ends, I take the Lady from London out on the dance floor, too, and once more hit on her for some dinner companionship later that week. He bombs with my date; I bomb with the date of his sister's ex-boyfriend.

If all this has your head doing an endless polka, try living it sometime. I think I'm going back to the doggie treat under the pillow. Life was a lot simpler then.

Reply by whitesatin on 4/9/06 11:46pm
Msg #112395

I do believe, sir, that you have a future in the field of writing story lines for soap operas. I definately feel for you and wish you the best in your future feminine endeavours. Thank you for sharing your adventures. Although, very frustrating for you, very entertaining for the rest of us.

Reply by hcampersFL on 4/9/06 11:49pm
Msg #112396

Hugh I can only hope that if I'm on my own later in life I will have that much fun. Maybe you should try passing notes?

In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Women "Here's a tip": If I remember right from my single days you aren't supposed to "hit" on another women when your already on a date. That maybe why you got shut down.
Keep having fun! We old married folks didn't get to go dancing on Wednesday or Friday night.
Beverly

Reply by FlaMac on 4/10/06 5:30am
Msg #112408

That's very funny and so true. Kind of like having a 17...

year old son who is over 6 foot answer the door when your date arrives. The response is usually " He's so tall"..lol. Life is very complicated these days. You're a great guy...I'm sure you'll find Ms. Right who'll love Lucy too..just don't offer her the doggie treat

Reply by MelissaM_FL on 4/10/06 8:21am
Msg #112419

Re: That's very funny and so true. Kind of like having a 17...

My over six foot son once answered the phone to a new prospective date with something along the lines of "You stab 'em; We'll slab 'em". Now, the kid's voice is about two notches above Barry White's voice, so the prospective date hung up the phone! The next day at work, PD says to me "Why didn't you tell me you live with someone who sounds like he could kill me?!"

Reply by FlaMac on 4/10/06 8:32am
Msg #112421

LOL... Also very useful when you want PD to become...

Date No More

Reply by BP/WV on 4/10/06 8:48am
Msg #112425

Hishughness-

I was reading this and laughing because it hits close to home. I always tell people that I have at least 2 males in my bed almost every night. Sometimes, it’s three. That is, if old man Winston the farm cat gives up chasing his prey early enough. ]

I live in a small town where everyone is an ex of some ones brother’s sister-in-law. And, not to mention that these people are territorial….even if it is over an ex. So, since I am not one who lives for turmoil, I prefer to hang out with the ‘attached’ folks and we usually end up at the “olphartz” club…but, I better watch my two-step there, cause even the geriatric have jealous bones.

In the end, I always go home to my three little furry males. No turmoil, no troubles…Ah, yes so much simpler.

Reply by LkArrowhd/CA on 4/10/06 9:38am
Msg #112456

Re: Feast or feminine-It has been well over 30 some years

since I've been single and you know I was never as busy with the opposite sex as you clearly are now, good for you....enjoy enjoy enjoy.....