Posted by Derrick/MT on 4/13/06 3:57pm
Msg #113417
Going to Mexico
Subject: Going to Mexico
>
>
>
> Dear President Bush:
>
> I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,
> and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the
> border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few
> arrangements. I know you can help with this.
>
> I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
> quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
> here.
>
> So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm
> on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the
> following:
>
> 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
>
> 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
> need, whether I use them or not.
>
> 3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
>
> 4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
>
> 5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
>
> 6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the
> flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down and
> upside.
>
> 7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
>
> 8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
> access to government services.
>
> 9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any
> effort to learn local traffic laws.
>
> 10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo
> from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police
> officers speak English.
>
> 11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on
> my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
> complaints or negative comments from the locals.
>
> 12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and
> don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
>
> 13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and
> never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place
> on the economy.
>
> I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things
> for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that
> Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor, if you ask him nicely.
>
> However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail
> hunting with your V.P.
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