Posted by Signing_Doc on 12/10/06 11:13am
Msg #165124
OT Christmas vs Chanukah
Now, if anyone asks you what the difference is between Christmas and Chanukah you will know what and how to answer!
1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to the movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.
3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos, etc. Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.
5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful. Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
9. Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.
10. Parents deliver presents to their children during Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.
11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.
12. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person. Better stick with Chanukah!
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Reply by Charles_Ca on 12/11/06 12:22pm
Msg #165237
Greetings Doc and a wishes for a happy holiday to you. I'd like to clear up some minor inconsistencies in your perception of Christmas. Christians like Jews have different philosophies regarding their holidays. I happen to be a Deist and so look at things differently than say a Presbyterian or Catholic (I play organ and have several different denominations I play for). However Christmas is not one day it traditionally (in the oldest of Christian Denominations) starts with the sighting of the first star on Christmas Eve and ends with the Feast of the Wisemen 12 days later. Unfortunately as you state so accurately Christmas has become very commercial and is rapidly losing its meaning in the US, not so much in other lands. Also unfortunate is the drive to commercialize your winter feast as ours. Many religions have attempted to "synchronize" their feasts with the philosophy of those currently in power. We see the same in all major religions. Like Christians the Jews (Orthodox, New Reformed, Jews for Jesus, etc) are also becoming less structured and I lament the fragmentation of all major religions because what we are winding up with are watered-down Christians and Jews: people who like to call themselves these things because it sounds good but not because they truly believe the philosophy. I personally like to celebrate the Winter Solstice (as well as most everyone elses's holidays) which by the way is coming shortly and is a reason that people have celebrated for millennia. Unfortunately Christmas also is a "synchronized" feast since most scholars hold that Jesus Christ was born in the Summer. The Winter Solstice has always been a universal and very important feast because it signalled the beginning (or the end) of the a year usually the agricultural cycle. The Maya people in Central America used to feast until they dropped, literally, after a non-stop feast of 3 days and they had a calendar that didn't need to be adjusted for time.
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Reply by JanetK_CA on 12/11/06 12:46pm
Msg #165246
Interesting stuff... Thanks.
But everyone knows Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving, right?! [Please note -tongue firmly planted in cheek.] Doc, that was an absolute hoot! BTW, instead of cookies, try some of my rugulach - made fresh last night... Better hurry - it's almost all gone!
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