Posted by Charm_AL on 1/18/06 7:07am
Msg #89031
Screw those nursing homes! OT
When I get old and feeble, I am going to ride the Princess Cruise Ships instead! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked with Princess Cruise-Lines. In today's dollars, I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That would leave me with $65 a day, which should more than cover:
1. Gratuities.
2. The unlimited free meals fit for royalty, and even room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week too).
3. As many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and free shows every night.
4. Free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat me like a customer, not a patient. A few extra dollars in tips out of my $65 might even have the staff scrambling to help me!
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 21 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have my mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for my inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and I won't even have to ask for them.
9. If I fall in the nursing home and break a hip, I'm on Medicare; but if I fall and break a hip on the Princess ship... they will upgrade me to a suite!
10. I'll get to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, Alaska, and other fun places.
11. Since at least one cruise ship leaves their harbor every day, I'll be able to sell my house, keep the money, and pay no mortgage, rent, utilities or real estate taxes... so I can screw them too!
12. And for the promise of a couple hundred bucks under the table, I'll prearrange for two of the staff to just dump me over the side of the boat if I die on their cruise. This way, I can screw the funeral director too! This would also enable me to screw my life insurance company by cashing in on my life insurance now ! Hey, I can even gamble on the ship's casino with the premiums I save from dropping my life insurance... and have even more fun!
ok, somebody slap me.
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Reply by newlysmomva on 1/18/06 8:06am
Msg #89041
Having been an EMT and gone on calls to nursing homes, this sounds like a wonderful solution to me. I have never been on a call to a nursing home that one of the crew didn't whisper "Guys, if they ever want to put me in one of these places, please take me out and shoot me first."
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