Posted by DogmongerCA on 7/14/06 10:25am
Msg #133168

Lapse in good judgement

Had a e-mail forwarded to me in which a unamed SS is soliciting money for a employee who is having a second baby and wants thier subs to send in a dollar to help the employee secure either a townhouse for her kids to have a yard, or help with a substantial down payment on a house.*** Please note that I am also raising money for a very worth cause. It is the Send DOG to CABO fund. Vendors need not send a dollar, just a file that pays a decent fee, pays on time and I will BUY MY OWN D#&$ TICKET:-)

Hello,

I am wracking my brain trying to think of something special I can do for XXXXX my right hand and head scheduler as a gift for her second child. She will be giving birth to her second boy child around the end of September. She has all the things she needs for a baby boy already though.

I have an idea that I've been kicking around and I'm just wondering if it would work. XXXXX has been house shopping...but because she has no credit she will need a rather large down payment to get into a house. She now lives in an Apartment where she has no control of the air conditioning or heat and is has no place for her kids to play.

So I had this "dream" one night that I sent an email to everyone in my data base and asked them to send a $1.00 made out to XXXX XXXX. And she got enough money to at least rent a duplex with a yard etc. When I woke up I wondered if that would be tacky because many of you do not knowXXXXX or maybe have not recieved orders from us.

Is it tacky?

I cannot tell you all I know about XXXXX because those are her stories to tell...but I can tell you that she has struggled with many things in her life and made lemonaide out of allot of lemons that were tossed her way. She get's knocked down...she just gets back up again. She has missed three days of work in the last year and I have known her since she was in the seventh grade. She is 21 with the work attitude of a 30 year old. She is a survivor of many things. I admire her.

So I just went to the d's in my data base and tossed this out there.

If you are interested in trying to help XXXX raise money for a down payment on deposit on a better place for her family to live and don't think this is too terribly tacky...send the check for $1.00 made out to her to this address:

XXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXX


If this works it is going to be a surprise...so please be sure to send it to the above address and mums the word.

You are my test market....I have no idea how many of you are people who have actually gotten jobs from XXXXX or talked to XXXX. I did not hand choose.
So A, B, C and part of D....What do you think?

Reply by Patrick Anthony on 7/14/06 10:32am
Msg #133170

No credit so she can't secure a house??!! I can think of a handful of shady lo's that would be more than happy to put her in a house.

Anybody that wants to support the send Jersey_boy to Tahiti fund, please send $1.00 via paypal asap.... lol

What will they think of next?

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 7/14/06 10:42am
Msg #133174

If she wants to do something for her

then let it come out of her own friggin pockets. Tacky beyond belief, extremely poor decision.

Can I put my request in for a steak dinner. Or maybe a little bass boat.

Reply by Pamela on 7/14/06 11:57am
Msg #133201

Re: If she wants to do something for her

Sarabeth,

Actually, I would love an estate in the South of France (with servants of course)!

lol,

Pam

Reply by Becca_FL on 7/14/06 10:40am
Msg #133173

Okay, here's a plan for XXXX: Keep your friggin legs closed and don't keep poppin out kids if you can't afford to raise them properly. DUH! 21 with a second kid on the way? Good grief. Have you ever heard of birth control XXXX?

Reply by SueW/Tn on 7/14/06 10:50am
Msg #133180

VERY POOR TASTE

I am actually sitting here in shock! While I appreciate this person's compassion, this steps way out of bounds. Anyone that has worked for this SS will think "if I don't send something will I get additional work"? Tacky isn't the word for it!

Reply by SLB SIGNING SERVICES, INC. - Sherry on 7/14/06 10:54am
Msg #133182

Although the intentions were good, the idea was terrible!

I cannot believe that someone would do that. What an awkward pedicament that would put the contractors in huh?

Reply by Becca_FL on 7/14/06 10:59am
Msg #133184

Re: Although the intentions were good, the idea was terrible

I the boss wants to do something for XXXX, why not give her a personal loan or donate a portion from every closing? I have NO desire to help some dumb 21 year old who can not comprehend the value of safe sex.

Reply by Keisha_NC on 7/14/06 2:31pm
Msg #133251

Your comments are totally inappropriate.

The topic is the decision of the SS to send the letter. While freedom of speech is allowed for all, it should stop at the point where we degrade someone else's choice on a public forum or in person for that matter.


Was it a good idea for the SS to sen the letter? No, it was quite unprofessional. However, the comments should be about the SS who made the poor decision, not an innocent party who asked nothing of us and is trying to create a better life for herself.

Even in the disagreements, vents, and joys of posting, degrading someone should never be acceptable.

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/14/06 2:45pm
Msg #133254

Lakeisha,

While I could certainly not disagree with your points if there were a name mentioned, I think there must be a reason why Becca feels so strongly about this...could it be seeing too much of it? Could it be an extreme distaste for seemingly irresponsible behavior? Could it be for a love of children who are being brought into the world without consideration for their future? Becca's a community volunteer who shares her time and resources with unfortunate people. She's not talking about a situation she knows nothing about. I fear it would have been my own mother's same response if she heard this tale. Mom has been in the world alone and she says it's a really ugly place to go at it alone, much less with a child.

Becca's attitude is realistic. The world is not always a nice place. If this unfortunate young woman reads this she will make a choice. She will either consider this to be harsh but valuable advice, or she'll keep on having babies without consideration for their destiny.

No one was degraded because there was no name mentioned or even a location (in my recollection).

But, I do respect your opinion and the right for you to have it.

Reply by LaKeisha Ward on 7/14/06 5:11pm
Msg #133287

It is great that Becca is an asset to her community. I am sure many others who come to this forum are also. I am a firm believer in the old adage which states " If you give a man a fish, you feed him for one day; If you teach a man to fish you feed him for the rest of his life."

You say she was not degraded because no one stated her name. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound.

In reading Dogmonger's post, not one time did the letter say that this lady was not on contraceptives (they are not 100%), that she was asking for handouts, that she did not have a spouse (although there is a bit of deductive reasoning to say she does not), or that she was not a great provider for her current child. So anything to the contrary would be speculation.

Therefore whether or not I know her name is irrelevant. I am willing to bet that if somehow she could read what was written, she would feel degraded:

degraded :To lower in dignity; dishonor or disgrace; To reduce in worth or value.

I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, nor do I see the world through rose colored glasses Yes there are those who do the same thing over again with no thought or respect for the people are the lives they are leaving in shambles. Yes we are taking care of children who do not belong to us when we pay our taxes. Yes there are children left behind by those who should care about them the most. All of these things are true.....But none of these things were stated about the young lady the SS wrote about .... and that is a FACT.

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/14/06 6:06pm
Msg #133292

LaKeisha, or as Pam would say, "LaKeisha!"

I like what you have in your profile, "no good 'deed' goes unsigned!"

That's kind of clever.

(Pam, I cannot help but rib you a bit.)

Reply by Becca_FL on 7/14/06 6:30pm
Msg #133294

Re: Lapse in good judgement LaKeisha

The FACT is that 50% of the children born on the Treasure Coast of Florida are born to unwed mothers. How do I know this? I work and have worked for a charitable organization for the past 8 years that raises money to help the children of these unwed mothers.

Every year we get more and more requests for assistance and every year we strive to raise more money than the year before. Why do we do this? Because we understand that it's not the children’s fault that they were born into the situation that they are in. It is the adults fault. Year after year we see the same families asking for help and we help them - no questions asked - and year after year we see their family grow and then grow some more when the 16 year old girl decides to follow the example of her mother.

Do you get where I'm coming from, now?

Reply by Keisha_NC on 7/15/06 6:32am
Msg #133318

Re: Lapse in good judgement LaKeisha

Really good facts, however, they are totally irrelevant to the decisions and the life of this young lady.

Have a great day!

Reply by Pamela on 7/14/06 11:54am
Msg #133199

Dogmonger!

To say that this is 'tacky' is an understatement!
What comes to mind is Susan Powter's old slogan, "Stop the Insanity"!

Pam

Reply by R R Crawford on 7/14/06 2:27pm
Msg #133250

I suspect that it is a good thing that I didn't get that email. I'm sure I would have lost a customer, and for sure the SS would have lost a notary. While I try very hard to always be polite, even when I'm calling about overdue payments, I don't think I would have been polite in my reply to that!

Rick

Reply by LilyMD on 7/14/06 2:57pm
Msg #133258

I'm sooo glad I didn't get the email. I would have not hesitated to respond vehemently.

Reply by Life Saving Services - Doug on 7/14/06 3:07pm
Msg #133260

Tough group...... I get a lot of garbage in my inbox daily. Some quite creative others just vulgar in there pitch. I laugh them off but always just click the Shift key move my pointer over all the offending emails and hit "Delete" then move on.

Just sounded like a typical internet scam to me. Was xxxx his girl friend and no pregnancy maybe ?

Reply by DogmongerCA on 7/14/06 3:15pm
Msg #133264

Wrong!

I so no need to identify them by name, but by their lack of good judgement.

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/14/06 3:25pm
Msg #133269

Re: Wrong!

And, I really do believe it was something done with a good heart but not realizing it was directed toward people who might feel intimidated by it. You are correct, Dog, it was a mere lapse and nothing more, I suspect.

However, Doug's kind of new to the biz and probably thinks a little bit paranoid like I did when I first came into it. I spent lots of time wondering, "now, what does THIS mean?"

Finally, I stopped wondering anything except what was right in front of me. Good mental health step for me.

Reply by FlaMac on 7/15/06 8:04am
Msg #133324

We're aware that "Vehemently" is your middle name dear. n/m

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/15/06 8:12am
Msg #133328

Re: We're aware that "Vehemently" is your middle name dear.

Such a nice thing to say! I'd like for you to say it to me. Sometimes I am so un-vehement, it's hard to tell if I am breathing, Flamac. Perhaps the power of suggestion would hit its mark??

See, I am sure you meant this in the best possible way...

Reply by Renee Kovacs on 7/15/06 7:05am
Msg #133321

Where's Emily Post when you need her?! n/m

Reply by FlaMac on 7/15/06 8:06am
Msg #133325

SS's never cease to amaze the masses. n/m