Posted by HisHughness on 6/12/06 5:34pm
Msg #125460
Become a signing service scheduler!
ANNOUNCEMENT
Want to earn good money for simply dialing the phone and talking? Want to come to work every day, sure that you will be spending the day feeling superior to lots of people? Want to scratch the little meany bump that you normally have to keep covered?
BECOME A SIGNING SERVICE SCHEDULER
Yes, that’s right: Even if you’re a high school dropout – heck, even if you’re an elementary school dropout – you, too, can become a signing service scheduler. We here at the American Signing Service Expertise School will teach you everything you need to know in two short hours. Learn how to:
* Say with convincing incredulity, “You want $125 for only an hour’s work?”
* Prepare e-mail notices that say “to remain competitive, we must reduce our signing fee from $45 to $32.50.”
* Overlook and ignore any suggestion that the correct approach to those competitive pressures is to insist that title companies pay good fees for good work.
* Arbitrarily reduce a signing agent’s fee for your mistakes.
* Gauge the level of desperation in a neophyte signing agent’s voice to determine just how far you can reduce his fee.
* Draw up worthless independent contractor agreements that will be enforced by you when to your benefit but ignored when it benefits the signing agent.
* Calculate, using the new math in which only fee subtractions, never fee additions, are permitted.
Yes, you, too, can learn all those skills, and even more. Go to www.ASSES.jerk and sign up today. Due to competitive pressures, we have had to raise our price from $50 an hour to $100 an hour. We do not refund for cancellations, nor do we pay trip fees for those who must take public transportation to get to the classroom. If you fail to turn in an assignment, your registration fee will be increased by $25 for each missed assignment. If you do not use blue ink, your registration fee will be increased by $25, and you will have to pay the courier costs to return the assignment. In returning assignments, you must use the letter-sized courier envelope or your registration fee will be increased $25. If you do not call within 15 minutes of being registered to confirm your registration, your fee will be increased $25. In fact, why don’t you just give up a signed, blank check?
Head your life in a new direction: Sign up today! Why wait? You have nothing to lose but a living wage.
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