Posted by Charm_AL on 6/2/06 8:25am
Msg #123605

Good Morning and Happy Friday OT:

RAISING BOYS
A) For those who have grown children - this is totally Hysterical!
B) For those who have children past this age, this is Hilarious.
C) For those who have children this age, this is NOT FUNNY.
D) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
E) For those who have not yet had children, this could be birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not Kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults In a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the Motor is not Strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman Underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a Long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a Baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh Oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint Rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play-doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even Though TV Commercials show they do.

16. ) Chicken legs do not get ate by a VCR. It doesn't make it run either.

17.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

18.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when Driving.

19.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor Is.

20.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; Plastic toys do not like ovens.

21.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

22.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not Make Earthworms dizzy.

23.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

24.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

25. ) Chicken legs do not get ate by a vcr. It doesn't make it run either.

26.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

27.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Reply by Ilona_OH on 6/2/06 8:31am
Msg #123607

Good morning Notaryville!That is sooooo true!It brings

back memories that I have tried in vain to forget and still laugh at when they do pop up.Raiseing that wild bunch was called the Campbell Family Circus.During the summer the neighbors would sit in their yards on the comfy chairs and watch our house instead of the TV.It was always entertaining!

Reply by cyndi_ca on 6/2/06 8:57am
Msg #123610

Re: Good morning Notaryville!That is sooooo true!It brings

I certainly wont let my boy read this and get any ideas. Welcome back Charm. You were missed.

Reply by Charm_AL on 6/2/06 9:10am
Msg #123617

Thank you...

and thanks to all who responded to my last post, and for the cards and calls. Luv you guys and couldn't wait to get back to Notaryville!

Reply by LawrenceOK on 6/2/06 9:46am
Msg #123624

Re: Thank you...

Well I have tried a few of these back in my younger days. Mom used to say "boy, it's a wonder your still alive". We didn't have Batman underwear back then, but I'm here to tell you the Superman Cape doesn't work when jumping off the roof. I still say to this day girls are easy to raise, at least until the 3 T's come along. Now where did I put my brake fluid, Hmmm

Reply by Tess/ME on 6/2/06 9:48am
Msg #123625

Charm, so happy to see you "up and running". Missed all your answers, thoughts and humor, but I think this might make up for it. It is so true. Went through many of these with the boys and now with the grandsons. P.S. girls aren't all "angels" neither. A few times mine did worse than the boys ever thought of.

Reply by Becca_FL on 6/2/06 10:07am
Msg #123630

OMG! Thanks for reminding me why...

I decided NOT to have children. I have forwarded the info. to my two sisters who both have a boy child. One sister is pregnant again and I can only pray that she has a girl.

Reply by ColleenCA on 6/2/06 10:39am
Msg #123640

Re: So Funny!!!!

Although my boys are almost 19 and 17 (and believe me those ages present their own set of antics), I remember quite well the little boy stuff. I remember when I was getting my Paralegal degree (the kids were 6 and 4 then) I had class until 10pm three nights a week. I would come home and the living room would be a mess. Couch cushions and chair cushions all over the floor, etc. My other "boy" (my husband) and the kids would be practicing what they called the "Thomas Family Circus". I really miss those times.

Reply by hcampersFL on 6/2/06 10:54am
Msg #123649

Re: So Funny!!!!

Having 2 brothers and 3 sons I have seen some of these things happen. "If it ain't bleeding or a bone sticking out don't call me at work." My Mom used to say.
b.

Reply by cyndi_ca on 6/2/06 11:32am
Msg #123664

Re: So Funny!!!! Can relate Bev

My kids would come crying with some lame story "he hit me" or "she kicked me". I started telling them the same thing. Strangly enough some of those days I miss.

Reply by Brenda/CA on 6/2/06 12:47pm
Msg #123683

Re: Charm

My sons are 29 and 31 now, but this sure brought back memories of all their mischief. I have one daughter that is 34 now, girls are easy to raise until they become teenagers then you want to give them away for a few years. That was cute thank you for sharing. Welcome back to NotRot.