Posted by John_NorCal on 6/23/06 8:15am
Msg #127750

OT - Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, people from Kentucky, Tennessee, and West Virginia will no longer be referred to as "Hillbillies."

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

This is HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

And This is HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Reply by Sammy on 6/23/06 8:24am
Msg #127752

John you have me LOL! n/m

Reply by Stamper_WI on 6/23/06 8:37am
Msg #127756

Glad we got that cleared up. n/m

Reply by Jahari Davis on 6/23/06 9:23am
Msg #127765

Priceless John, thanks. n/m

Reply by hcampersFL on 6/23/06 10:06am
Msg #127769

I like the men's #7 n/m

Reply by LkArrowhd/CA on 6/23/06 10:35am
Msg #127778

Re: This is good....... n/m

Reply by dickb/wi on 6/23/06 12:01pm
Msg #127796

thanks for getting me started with a good laugh.........