Posted by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 3:28pm
Msg #104887

please don't respond to this...

as I don't want to drag it out any further than it has been.

I just want to say Thank You to the posters that backed me both here and the feedback forum and thru e-mail. Also to those that stood up to it on the forums. I appreciate it more than you know and hopefully Harry will not kick me off for defending against....you know who and what is right, wrong, legal, illegal.

Anyway, I hope this has been an eye opener for her and has learned not to barge onto an established forum and cause all the destruction with established and newer members. It certainly was an eye opener for me!

Once again, I hope it's over and I can go back to my charming ways
thank you again for your support, I was moved by it.

Reply by Korey Humphreys on 3/14/06 3:32pm
Msg #104891

ooops I replied...

Charm there is no way Harry would kick you off IMO. You have contributed so much to this board. I think it would take more then one disgruntled poster to boot you off.

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 3:44pm
Msg #104898

pot sticka...I mean stirrer....:-) n/m

Reply by Korey Humphreys on 3/14/06 3:54pm
Msg #104907

That is sssoooo rude! Harry!! Oh Harry!! j/k :-) n/m

Reply by Winston_Tn on 3/14/06 3:59pm
Msg #104911

It Ain't over til Winston sings......

Admittedly, I rarely post to this forum, but do attain a modicum of knowledge and certain value of entertainment, which tends to justify my occasional, yet persistant perusal.

The goal of this post is simple edification, and to alert forum members to the hideous personality traits of the narcissist, and to bring about some awareness as to how best avoid being a narcissist enabler, or be drawn victim to narcissist service.
Please do not feel bad, or internalize, if accused of being 'mean-spirited' by a narcissist.
There is nothing "mean-spirited" about working, legally and peaceably, for one's equal rights and basic human dignities.
There is nothing "mean-spirited" about a name-and-shame campaign when exposing the destructive tactics of the narcissist.
There's nothing "mean-spirited" about perfectly legal strategies used against perfectly despicable people.
Feel free to strip away the false layers when confronted by the immature antics and exuberant extrovertedness of the nacissist.
Consider the task as you would maintaning any 'pool'....when exposed to certain bacteria, it requires, and in fact responsibly necessitates the addition of more chlorine.

Everyone is unique in one way or another because everyone has his or her own individual personality. Our personality includes a false self which is what we show the world and a true self which is who we really are on the inside. Our false self is a front that we use to show the world that everything is all right with us.

Consider these facts in identifying the narcissist;

The narcissist never felt really seen or heard in his family of origin. Therefore, the narcissist escaped into his own world where he was omnipotent. In this world which he created he was not subjected to unpredictable rage, ridicule, or extreme moodiness. He was safe. Nothing could touch him that would harm his ego and in this world his true emotions were repressed.
The narcissist began a journey through life of presenting his false self to the world.
The narcissist shows to the world a false self which includes arrogance, grandiosity, and pretentiousness thereby hiding his feelings of inadequacy and deficiency. The facade of his false self has minimal resemblance to his true self.
The narcissist will exaggerate and boast to create his grandiose presentation of his false self and attempt to control others to focus their attention on him because he requires excessive admiration.
The narcissist is very dependent on others. This causes him to be self-conscious since he knows that he requires approval from others. He will watch and listen carefully for any critical judgements which make him feel slighted. He is touchy and quick to take offense. He actually anticipates attack and danger which will cause a narcissistic injury to his false self. When injuried he will react with anger, rage, and will fantasize about revenge.
The narcissist can become so enraged at the infliction of injury to his false self that he will attempt to destroy the source of the criticism. He is able to enter his fantasy world at any time. There he can entertain dreams of greatness. His dreams are unrealistic and include achievements that he will never be able to measure up to.
Mc Williams (1994) states there are two postures to the narcissist. One in which he will convince himself that he has attained his unrealistic dreams (the grandiose posture) and one in which he is a failure (the depressive posture).
The narcissist is shallow and although he may offer gestures of self-sacrifice these are for the sake of appearance. At the core of the narcissist is a sense of entitlement. He believes that his presumption of superiority is proof enough and he should not have to prove its existence. He thinks that if he wants something that he should get it no matter the cost to others.
Akhtar (1992) warns that the narcissist has difficulty comprehending or accepting the incest taboo. Sexual behavior is possible with his children if he does not see them as separate individuals who are not there for his gratification.
The narcissist is self-absorbed, emotionally immature, and lacks empathy for others. He is unable to establish intimacy and may actually deny his need for personal relationships. He is adept at the use of defense mechanisms and can easily justify his self-centeredness and his inconsiderate treatment of others.
The false self of the narcissist hides his inner emptiness. He hides his feelings of being unwanted, unlovable, inferior, and not belonging. It would be easy to feel sorry for the narcissist; however, the presentation of his false self which he presents to the world repels others and does not evoke other's sympathy.
The narcissist receives from those he comes in contact with what he fears most--rejection.

I am quite sure that I do not have to name names here, and that this profile will enlighten all as to the root of those whom might be destructive and parasitic to those that they interact with, however, for those still in denial...
Do you have 5 or more of these traits??? (Diagnostic criteria for 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.)
2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion
3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)
5. Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment.
6. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others
8. Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
9. Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted

Even though 75% of narisisstic personality disorder is found in men... feel free to substitute 'she/her/herself...etc' for the words 'he/his/hisself...etc' in the above.

If you are convinced, or feel reasonably certain that you are in a dialog/relationship (personal, business..etc) with a destructive narcissist,
you may be tempted to do all or any of the following;
Tell them that he or she is a destructive narcissist.
Confront them about their behavior and attitudes.
Leave NPD book where they can see it with the hope that they will read it and see what they are doing.
Give them this info, or a NPD book, and tell them to read it, since it’s about them.
Do not do any of the above, or anything similar. Here is why these acts are not helpful.
Persons with a destructive narcissist pattern cannot see the behaviors and attitudes they exhibit as you and others perceive them.
They are unaware of the impact on you, and are well defended against knowing.
Further, your attempts to make them aware or get through to them will fail, and will be perceived as threats to their core essential self.
This will bring out their defenses for protection. The defenses are likely to be hostile, aggressive, strong and immediately available to them,
so that they are able to attack and mount a strong counteroffensive in a nanosecond.
You generally do not win or make any headway, and can find yourself in a worse position than before.

Hopefully, You are beginning to understand that perhaps the most beneficial tactic is our power to IGNORE!

As a psychiatrist was once heard saying;
“Ns are the bread and butter of the therapeutic enterprise, not because they so often seek professional help— they are too impressed with themselves to ever think they have a problem—
but because they drive so many people around them crazy.”


P.S. Sorry that this post could possible be misconstrued, in and of itsself, to be narcissistic ...LOL

Reply by Cheri Armentrout on 3/14/06 4:08pm
Msg #104914

Re: It Ain't over til Winston sings......

Professor Winston!!

where were you when I was taking psych 101? Are you at the border of AL? I have an occasional call for way up there in Sand Mountain. Please e-mail me and tell me where ya are when you get the chance.

Reply by JanelWI on 3/14/06 6:25pm
Msg #104947

Re: Winston how enormously entertaining!!:-)

Hope to read your posts more often! You remind me of HisHughness. Speaking of Hishughness anyone know where he has been lately?

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 6:29pm
Msg #104953

Re: Winston how enormously entertaining!!:-)

"Winston is both a scholar and a gentleman." Further, Affiant sayeth not.

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 9:44pm
Msg #105046

Re: It Ain't over til Winston sings......

I'm so vain,
I'll bet I think this song is about me.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 11:40pm
Msg #105077

Re: It Ain't over til Winston sings......

I agree. I don't know you from an anonymous, Winston, but several things about your post hit me right between the eyes:

1. I recognize someone in my immediate family by your post.
2. You are confident about what you want to say, with no holding back and say it with conviction.
3. " Ignore" is great advice. It's just better when some explanation is provided, as you did.
4. Don't make a stranger of yourself.
5. Are you married?

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 4:20pm
Msg #104917

Re: please don't respond to this...you aren't my boss...&

You cannot tell me what to do, Charm.

I understand what it is like to feel attacked. Sometimes there is an attack and you wonder where your friends are...or why you feel attacked by people you thought were friends...yet they seem to live to make you look stupid if at all possible. Egos come in all flavors.

There are people who have nothing better to do that be disruptive.

I hope you know that I fully support you. If you had to get ugly, well...you had to get ugly. You are a very nice person and someone I consider my friend.

You have to defend yourself in life and on a forum.

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 4:22pm
Msg #104918

Re: please don't respond to this...you aren't my boss...&

lol thanks Brenda, can we be bestest friends and do the prick your finger thingy?

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 6:20pm
Msg #104945

It's official The Justice League is now forming.

In the spirit of upholding State Notary Laws I feel it is time we banded together and formed the Justice League. Brenda is Electra Woman, I'm Dyna Girl, Charm is Wonder Woman, Titlegal is Elektra, Bonnie is The Bionic Woman. Now for the guys PAW is Captain America, Charles I want to name Superman but if I remember correctly there's another superhero he likes maybe the Green Hornet (let us know Charles you get your pick). Further suggestions will be carefully considered. But remember this isn't a NotRot list, it's mine, mwa ha ha ha. Now not all names are on the list yet but that is only because it is a list in the works.

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 6:28pm
Msg #104950

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming. OT

Electra Woman has nice sparkly shoes, too much jewelry and enough red lipstick so that she looks more like a floozy than an academic, right?

PS - I added the OT so that our ramblings on this post keep us from the verbal spanking for not discussing this in the chat room or via email. Ooooo...aren't we rebellious notaries?

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 6:31pm
Msg #104954

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming. OT

Yes she was played by one of my favorites Diedre Hall. Thank You for adding the OT

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 6:37pm
Msg #104956

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming. OT

Okay...hand me the mascara and I am there! (Diedra Hall is one of my favorites also. I liked her on that show with the self-proclaimed crusty old curmedgeon "Gus." Great show I watch with my kiddo...cannot remember the name.)

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 6:38pm
Msg #104957

Re: It's official--watchED not watch with my kiddo. OT n/m

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:42pm
Msg #105018

Ahem...Electra may have gaudy taste...

but she's no floozy unless of course she spends any time around Batman. It must be the ears.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:45pm
Msg #105019

Whats the dif between elektra and electra woman? Other than

hailing from Texas or being blonde v. brunette?

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 9:11pm
Msg #105028

Re: Whats the dif between elektra and electra woman? Other

Electra woman was from the 70's hit show Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. Electra Woman played by Diedre Hall. Elektra is from Daredevil, she was Daredevils girlfriend played by Jennifer Garner.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 10:37pm
Msg #105066

Yea baby, call me Jennifer Garner =) (not) n/m

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 7:01pm
Msg #104964

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

if it's ok with the league, I would rather be Inspector Clouseau, othrwise known as the pink panther

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 7:15pm
Msg #104967

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

It is agreed, henceforth Charm shall now be known as Inspector Clouseau. And it is only fitting to bestow Wonder Woman to Margaret Fl for her blazzing pen on purchases.

Charm you mentioned going to see The Pink Panther. Was it good?

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 7:19pm
Msg #104970

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

Although I love Steve Martin and the pink panther, I was not impressed I was waiting all movie for a belly laugh, never happened, a few funnies, but not worth the time/price.

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 7:47pm
Msg #104981

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

OK! just read an e-m from Professor Winston, he works in my state and is a notary and S.A. by night. In the interest of joining the Justice League, he has asked us to induct him officailly as Flesh Gordon....no comment

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 7:52pm
Msg #104983

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

Agreed to Flesh but the costume must cover him in a manner befitting a superhero. Flash is still available.

Reply by Charm_AL on 3/14/06 7:54pm
Msg #104985

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

Super notary...got fig leaf will travel

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 7:58pm
Msg #104989

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

Ha hahaha. The newest inductee is now Angelina AZ as Catwoman for her cat sense to get in and out of the signings that she posted on last summer. You know the neighbor and the sheep.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:46pm
Msg #105021

LOL SarahBeth! A story I'll never forget =) n/m

Reply by KBLedgard_CA on 3/14/06 8:38pm
Msg #105016

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

While its not Justice League, what about CaliNotary as "Mr Fantastic"?

Reply by Beth/MD on 3/14/06 8:45pm
Msg #105020

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

I wanna be in the Justice League. I wanna be on the list. It's not fair, you're making a list, and I'm not on it. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:47pm
Msg #105022

Just pick a name Beth! n/m

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:47pm
Msg #105023

Re: Just pick a name Beth! n/m

Reply by TitleGalCA on 3/14/06 8:50pm
Msg #105024

I'm taking myself out of the league as I think you have to

have the ability to post correctly and it's obvious I cant sorry for the double posts.

Reply by Beth/MD on 3/14/06 8:51pm
Msg #105025

Re: Just pick a name Beth!

Wow, I can be on the list..great. Not Justice League (I think wonder dog and the super twins are all that's left) but I'll be Storm. She's way cool.

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 9:06pm
Msg #105026

Re: Just pick a name Beth!

Your in. I dub thee Storm.

Reply by Beth/MD on 3/14/06 9:07pm
Msg #105027

Re: NO autographs, please... n/m

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 3/14/06 9:13pm
Msg #105029

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

In our Justice League all superheros are welcome. We would be glad to have Cali as Mr. Fantastic.

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 9:35pm
Msg #105041

Re: It's official The Justice League is now forming.

*We would be glad to have Cali as Mr. Fantastic.*

I am against him being involved....unless, of course, he shaves his legs.

Reply by PAW on 3/14/06 9:52pm
Msg #105050

I'm so honored

http://pawnotary.com/images/captainamerica.gif

Seriously, I am so honored to be considered a part of the Justice League and to be dubbed Captain America. I just hope I can be true to the name. Here's a brief bio, for those interested:

Alias: Steve Rogers
Occupation: crimefighter, (former) freelance notary signing agent
Legal Status: Citizen of the United States with no criminal record
True Identity: Secret
Other Aliases: Nomad, the Captain and Capt'n 'Merica (after a night out)
Place of Birth: New York City
Marital Status: Single (don't tell Ms. America)
Known Relatives: Joseph (father, in witness protection program), Sara (mother, deceased)
Group Affiliation: Former member of the Invaders, former partner to Bucky, the Falcon, and Nomad, current member of the Avengers, a now, the Justice League
Base of Operations: formerly of New York City, now Tampa, FL

Strength Level: Captain America represents the pinnacle of human physical perfection. While not superhuman, he is as strong as a human being can be. He can lift (press) a maximum of 800 pounds with supreme effort. (Yeah, I wish!)

Known Superhuman Powers: Known

Abilities: Captain America has agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete who ever competed. The Super-Soldier formula that he has metabolized has enhanced all of his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency. Notably, his body eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing poisons in his muscles, granting him phenomenal endurance.

Captain America has mastered the martial art of American-style boxing and judo, and has combined these disciplines with his own unique hand-to-hand style of combat. He engages in a daily regimen of rigorous exercise (including aerobics, weight lifting (two handed coffee cups), gymnastics (hours of mouse and trackball exercises), and simulated combat (PS2)) to keep himself in peek condition. Captain America is one of the finest human combatants Earth has ever known.

Limitations: Captain America is subject to all human vulnerabilities, although his immunity to diseases is extraordinary.

Weapons: Captain America's only weapon is his shield, a concave disk 2.5 feet in diameter, weighing 12 pounds. It is made of a unique Vibranium-Adimantium alloy that has never been duplicated. The Shield was cast by American metallurgist Dr. Myron MacLain, who was contracted by the U.S. government to create an impenetrable substance to use for tanks during World War II. During his experiments, MacLain combined Vibranium with an Adamantium-steel alloy he was working with and created the disc-shaped shield. MacLain was never able to duplicate the process due to his inability identify a still unknown factor that played a role in it. The shield was awarded to Captain America by the government several months after the beginning of his career. It now hangs on the wall of Captain America's den, guarded by the well know American defenders, Smith and Wesson.

The shield has great aerodynamic properties: it is able to slice through the air with minimal wind resistance and deflection of path. (It was the inspiration for the common Frisbee.) Its great overall resilience, combined with its natural concentric stiffness, enables it to rebound from objects with minimal loss of angular momentum. It is virtually indestructible: it is resistant to penetration, temperature extremes, and the entire electromagnetic spectrum of radiation. (Makes a wonderful dog chew toy.) The only way it can be damaged in any way is by tampering with its molecular bonding. (Male bonding sure didn't help.)

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 10:04pm
Msg #105053

Re: I'm so honored - And here is my picture, folks...

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Tina%20Turner.jpg

The lady in this picture is as ageless as Mary Kay Ash and good wine. Yes, of course it is me in my Elektra get up.

I am standing there waiting my turn for the red lipstick technician. Just another day in paradise doing good and kicking the shins of bad guys.

Reply by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 10:07pm
Msg #105055

Re: I'm so honored - And here is my picture, folks...

You'll have to cut and paste it - it is a tricky one. Gripe, gritch and groan.



=======================================
Re: I'm so honored - And here is my picture, folks...
Posted by BrendaTx on 3/14/06 10:04pm

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Tina%20Turner.jpg

The lady in this picture is as ageless as Mary Kay Ash and good wine. Yes, of course it is me in my Elektra get up.

I am standing there waiting my turn for the red lipstick technician. Just another day in paradise doing good and kicking the shins of bad guys.

Reply by Bonnie_CO on 3/14/06 5:21pm
Msg #104933

Charm...you're not the boss of me, I can respond if I want..

to. You should feel very loved! LOL!
Seriously though, there are a lot of us on this board that will stand up and defend you, simply because we like you and enjoy your company on this board. Plus you give good solid advice!
I don't think Harry will kick you off!

Reply by christiSocal on 3/15/06 5:00am
Msg #105085

Dang, charm. I'm never gonna listen to you again!

I saw your post right after you put it up, and I did just what you said, I left it alone...
Man I missed all the fun.. Again... I'm gonna join Brenda and be a rebellious notary. And Titlegal, I I know this is really too late, cause I'm not linear enough but, I'm being rebellious and doing it anyway! SO THERE!
Also Charm, we'ed all rather have you here instead of that other "person". OK being rebellious is making me tired, I'm going to bed. :p

Reply by cmd_NH on 3/15/06 5:27am
Msg #105086

Re: Dang, charm. I'm never gonna listen to you again!

Guess I missed the boat too. Busy day yesterday. Charm! You are an asset to this board and Harry surely knows this! You call 'em as you see 'em and you shouldn't be punished for that. I enjoy your attitude. I would rather hear the truth than a covered up version of it just to spare feelings. You go girl! You got my vote!