Posted by DD/OR on 11/12/06 8:42pm
Msg #159410

Problem

Hi all...I have a problem and it happens a lot.
I was wondering if any of you have been experiencing the same thing as I. At the signing table the borrowers take the signing out of a business realm and always start talking about personal issues. Theirs and mine. They ask me personal questions. Questions not related to the loan. I try to keep it on a business level but they persist in asking me personal questions. They also divulge their own personal issues without my encouragment. It makes my job twice as hard & twice as long, because I feel I have to answer their stupid questions that have nothing to do with the loan. I try to be polite and not insult them but they get way out of line with their questions. I'm a private person by nature and I don't like strangers knowing my personal business. I don't know how to handle this. Is there a solution? What would you do? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

Reply by jojo_MN on 11/12/06 8:54pm
Msg #159414

I know it's not a catch-all, but sometimes I will just flash a big smile and say, "I could stay here all day/night talking to you, but unfortunately I have to be in (fill in your next appt. town or your home town) and we have this whole pile of papers to get through." Usually they will get back on task. Then when I'm done I bring up something happy to chit-chat about for a few minutes (some decoration in their house, children's pictures, etc). Always try to leave on a happy note. That way it will leave both you and the TC/lender in a good light.

As far as personal info, try to keep it as little as possible.
JMHO

Reply by DD/OR on 11/12/06 9:07pm
Msg #159420

Thanks for the suggestion. I wish it were that simple. I even told them I was partially deaf and couldn't hear them but it didn't work. They just spoke louder. I was thinking of handing borrowers a statement that says something like "Please keep the conversation related to the loan only". I'm getting desperate.

Reply by Pamela on 11/12/06 9:40pm
Msg #159427

DD Re: Problem

Next time, try telling them that
you have had dental work and must
keep the conversation down to a
minimum.

You aren't lying, as I am
sure, that you have had some type
of dental work, as most of us have.
(Note: I didn't use the word 'recent',
though it is implied. ("smile").

You can also use your phone
to "check-in" with your next
appointment (or have a friend/
relative telephone you at a given
time); therefore you must leave.

Next time someone asks you for
a date, tell them that is fine. That
you're in need of a new husband for
your 8 children (and that yes, you are
serious).

Pam

Reply by Liz/OR on 11/12/06 9:09pm
Msg #159421

No offense Jojo but that phrase sounds kind of rude, I'm sure you didn't mean it like that. My two cents...you have to be a bit of a people person to do this job. Some talk is okay, but if you keep your answers short and keep referring back to the documents you can get them to think of that instead of other things to ask you. Also, sometimes I like the small talk because it keeps them from worrying about each and every page, thus, making the signing go by even quicker. If you are talking though (and even if you aren't) double check the whole package before you leave. That's what I do, hope that helps.

Reply by jojo_MN on 11/12/06 9:18pm
Msg #159423

Thanks, Liz,
Just re-read the post. I meant to write that I say "I would love to stay and chit-chat all day, but I have to be in "La Crescent" in two hours and we have this whole pile of papers to go through." That is why I always try to stay a few extra minutes at the end if I have time--so they don't think I'm trying to rush out as fast as I can. I don't always use this line, just when the people are overly friendly.

I always try to keep it strictly professional, but in the rural areas where I service, the country people are offended if you don't tone it down some. I always keep it at the level with whom I am speaking. Obviously, I am going to be more "strictly business" with a professional couple in a more well-to-do neighborhood than with a small town couple in a rural farmhouse. I have the same respect for both, but I need them all to feel comfortable with the business transaction.

Reply by LkArrowhd/CA on 11/12/06 9:05pm
Msg #159419

Re: DD my suggestion to you would be keep it strictly

business, when the subject begins to stray, place your eyes on the documents, pick up the next document, name the document, and gain their attention as to what you are there to do.
I can understand a friendly chat but that's not what your there for.....keep them focused on documents documents documents......get her done get her done get her done

Reply by DD/OR on 11/12/06 9:21pm
Msg #159424

Re: DD my suggestion to you would be keep it strictly

I agree. I have tried everything. If the wife isn't asking me personal questions, then the husband does. There was one single guy who asked me if I was married, then he asked for a date. I haven't a clue as to why they do this. I have a professional demeanor. I used to live in California and none of my clients ever did any of this. But here in Oregon, it's a different story. I'm at my wit's end.

Reply by Pamela on 11/12/06 9:30pm
Msg #159425

DD

I was a social worker for many years.
When someone asks me what I used to do and I tell them,
it makes all the difference in the world. Those who have had
positive dealings with social services, become more at ease.
Others, who have had "less than friendly" experiences,
become "quite" and quickly sign the papers.

Pam

Reply by Liz/OR on 11/12/06 9:34pm
Msg #159426

Re: DD my suggestion to you would be keep it strictly

I believe God works on our weaknesses to make us stronger, better people. I am not a very assertive person and recently I had a friendship with a girl who was very manipulative. It ended on a bad note because I became the person I needed to be and told her what I thought of her (instead of letting her take advantage of me like I used to).

Maybe that's why your clients are talking to you so much?

Reply by LkArrowhd/CA on 11/13/06 9:39am
Msg #159520

Re: DD- pretend you are the mother of a small child and

maybe you are and won't need to pretend, you are in control of that child and responsible for the supervision of that child, look at your signing responsibilities the same way. This is what you are there for, nothing else, get the job done, focus. As you leave you might chat a moment, pleasure to meet you both, lovely home etc. etc. and off you go.......
You must be in control of the signing at all times....

Reply by JanetK_CA on 11/13/06 1:46am
Msg #159469

As I see it, we are in their home which automatically makes this a more social setting for them than it would be in an office, so a certain amount of chit chat kind of goes with the territory. Also, they have a right to be somewhat curious about any stranger who is in their home.

Do you tend to hear a lot of the same questions over and over? If so, maybe you could develop some stock answers that don't divulge too much information but are friendly - or humorous - and perhaps aren't even a direct answer. You might also just suggest that some things wouldn't be appropriate for you to get into. (And how you say it is at least as important as what you say!) After all, your personal business is none of their business and you shouldn't feel obligated to answer overly intrusive questions if you don't want to, but keep in mind that you have in front of you a great deal of very personal information about them!

I may schmooze a bit with people, but I'm always watching what they are doing and will interrupt with the next document (and a smile...) as soon as they are done with the one in front of them. This is easiest when you are the one doing the talking, but I've been known to interrupt them, as well. This helps keep things moving, but I should say that this isn't my strongest suit... My goal is to put them at ease, get the docs signed properly as quickly as is feasible AND to not have it be an unpleasant experience for them.