Posted by DogmongerCA on 4/9/07 2:50pm
Msg #184316
OT....... Will I live to be 80
WILL I LIVE TO BE...80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my former doctor said that red meat is very unhealthy!"
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a little too much sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a sh!t?"
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Reply by Gary_CA on 4/9/07 4:14pm
Msg #184342
And if you do make it past 80...
A 96 year old man and his 93 year old wife get hit by a car and arrive at the Pearly Gates together... and St. Pete let's em in...
So they're stolling along those streets of gold and get a little hungry and see a Bistro with wonderful smelling food... but they're used to living on a budget. Maybe we can... I'll ask... And of course they were invited to eat whatever they like, free... they're in heaven. So they enjoy a heavenly free meal and afterwards he spots an incredible 100 yr old Scotch behind the bar (sorry Baptists, it's true) and wonders if he could have a shot. Of course, and it's free.
They go out walking by the Crystal Sea... and a golf course... oh the golf course... makes the Links at Pebble Beach look like a pitch and putt. "I wonder if we could play?" And they played, with a cart, for free.
And afterwards, Fillet Mignon at the clubhouse overlooking the sea... and baked Alaska... free all of it.
And they were told they could have a suite if they didn't feel like going home... and a massage.
Free.
And the man looks into the eyes of his beloved and says...
"Ya know, if it wasn't for that damned oat bran and tofu you kept fixing we coulda been here 20 years ago."
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