Posted by ColleenCA on 2/6/07 7:34am
Msg #174221

OT: Boy Life Can Throw Some Loops Sometimes

After 31 years with the same company, my husband was layed off. There is never a right time for this, but we are right in the middle of gutting our kitchen, helping to support one son in college and our youngest is a senior in highschool preparing to go to college this summer. I already work 9 to 10 hour days plus any signings that I can get. We will have to pay for COBRA which according to his HR Dept will be approx 1,100.00 per month plus our usual copays on perscriptions and doctor visits. Needless to say, we are pretty scared. Anyway, this is just a vent for me as this is my only "water cooler" opportunity since I work out of my home office. Thanks for reading.

Reply by SueW/Tn on 2/6/07 7:37am
Msg #174223

Colleen, so sorry. Geez, I know the feeling and while it's normal to "panic"...don't. All things happen for a reason, you'll tighten up here, eliminate there and then a fantastic opportunity will reveal itself! I have always discovered that choices are made for me because I have such a difficult time with "letting go"...I might add all the changes have been great for me and my family. Sending positive energy your way

Reply by ColleenCA on 2/6/07 7:42am
Msg #174225

Thank you Sue, I appreciate all of the positive energy we can get. We have been telling ourselves this could be the beginning of something great. My husband isn't the kind to panic....I however am big time! My stomach has been in knots.

Reply by ReneeK_MI on 2/6/07 8:00am
Msg #174230

Oh, Colleen - I sure do feel for you, so much so that reading this just made my stomach turn with empathy. In a heartbeat, your whole world can be turned upside-down. Like you - I tend to worry, and it's maybe my greatest personal challenge to overcome. IT DOES NOT BRING ANYTHING GOOD (I repeat, over and over!). I try to go over the mental list of all the ways things could be worse, of all that there is to be grateful for (always the longest list!), and all of the things that, unbeknown to me, I may have just been saved from.

Repeat, as needed. =) It's all about the journey, and not about where you are at any given point. Try not to miss any of the roadside attractions =)

Reply by hcampersFL on 2/6/07 9:14am
Msg #174241

Colleen you have my thoughts with you at this time. It is tough out there. Maybe your hubby could get in to the Notary field?
Remember those son's that are going to and are in college will have new avenues open to them in the form of scholarships and financial aid. Be sure those applications are filled out with the most up todate information. That may help in the long run.

I'm thinking of you!
Beverly

Reply by LC/AZ on 2/6/07 9:32am
Msg #174245

As the old saying goes: Life is like a rollercoaster; Up, down, Up, down. It gets good, then bad, then good again, and so on and so on. It will get good again, Colleen, for you and your family. I know you are anxious, but try not to be overly anxious. Like the little child, who puts their hand in the parent's hand while crossing the street, and has no fear, remember that a good God is watching over you.

Reply by Stamper_WI on 2/6/07 9:36am
Msg #174249

Trust in the obstacles placed in your path. Its a nudge in a different direction.

Reply by Happy_in_Fl on 2/6/07 9:36am
Msg #174250

Coleen, can you e-mail me when you get a chance?

Reply by Stamper_WI on 2/6/07 9:54am
Msg #174257

Perspective

This was sent to me awhile ago:

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Reply by Becca_FL on 2/6/07 9:58am
Msg #174258

When life closes a door, a window always opens. Be looking for the window of opportunity and you'll be just fine.

Reply by ColleenCA on 2/6/07 10:00am
Msg #174259

Re: Thank you all for your wonderful words of wisdom

and the comfort that you have provided. My heart is filled with joy and my stomach hurts a little less. Thank you all, you don't know what it means to me. I had better get back to work before I start crying again.

Reply by SarahBeth_CA on 2/6/07 10:33am
Msg #174269

That is truly unexpected and very hard

I don't know where you are located in CA. But if you are anywhere near a Kaiser you could probably get coverage cheaper than that Cobra garbage. We had to go a couple months without any coverage back when my hubby got hurt. I'll be praying for those doors to open.

Reply by Marlene/USNA on 2/6/07 10:39am
Msg #174270

Re: A word about college. . .

I was fortunate that my family was able to pay my way through college, even though my dad did it by "borrowing on his inheritance," i.e., borrowing from his father against whatever money he would get when his father died. I earned spending money with work/study jobs (my family was poor on paper!), typing and editing term papers, a part-time job on one year, working summers, and it was easier on them because I went to a state college, the first two years at a branch campus while living at home.

It's part of the American Dream to want to send our kids through college, the best college they can get in. It's not a failure if we can't do that through no fault of our own. Ask your kids to help you out through this difficult time. They'll be stronger kids, you'll be a stronger family. Maybe when they're ready for that graduate degree, you'll be in a position to take on the burden again.

Marlene, no kids of her own, but respected how her parents did it. . .

Reply by ColleenCA on 2/6/07 10:44am
Msg #174275

Re: A word about college. . .

Yes, our son does work and helps pay his living expenses. Our youngest does work too and will continue to do so through college. In fact, when I told the oldest, he said "don't send me any money I have a few things I can sell and enough saved with my job to tide me over, and I'll only call you for money if I am in dire straights." We are very fortunate that we have those kind of kids always willing to pool together and do what is required.

As for finding an independent insurance policy, we can't do it. My husband and I both have pre existing medical conditions (in fact my husband has to have a malignancy removed on the 14th -another wammy that we just found out about) and with pre existing conditions many companies will not even touch us. So, we are stuck with the COBRA and I will have to pinch every penny to pay for it. I guess you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Reply by Marlene/USNA on 2/6/07 10:57am
Msg #174277

COBRA

Check with Human Resources in your husband's company. You may not have to pay for the level of coverage you had while he was working there. Maybe you could increase some deductibles, drop vision or dental. . .ask HR, they're supposed to help you through this, not make it harder for you.

My brother was laid off, his HR didn't even tell him about COBRA, tried to stonewall him when I told him to ask questions, but they're not allowed to put you off - don't let them.

Reply by Gary_CA on 2/6/07 11:18am
Msg #174279

Another word about college...

The year I left for college dad filed bankruptcy in his business. So I worked full time and got college loans. I'm still paying (because I took some time without paying in the middle, but that's a long story...) but it's all good. I had a job as a security guard in corporate offices... so I actually got paid to study.

Anyway... I'm guessing this'll all work out cool and it wouln't come to that, but there's more than one way to skin a cat.

Paying for your kids education is great... kid paying his own way is educational.

Reply by ZeeCA on 2/6/07 11:58am
Msg #174290

Re: A word about college. . .

seriously work w/ the person in your financial aid/scholarship depts. I had returned to college after an accident for a career change... they worked with me to the max... btwn scholarships and fianancial aid my total out of pocket expenses were less than $200.00 (YES two HUNDRED dollars) and NO student loans

I got gas expenses, transportation expenses, food allowance, books, paper etc paid.

My job was to show up and maintain at minimum a 2.5 gpa ( I graduated w/ a 3.99999)

so I always say to those in need: ... go to them and learn and spend a few hours a day on the computer at the sites they recommend and it will pay off. There are 1000s of scholarships and a lot go unused.....

best of luck to you.

Reply by hcampersFL on 2/6/07 12:04pm
Msg #174291

Re: A word about college. . .

Good advice Zee. We spent about $2000. for our son's college ed. That included helping him buy a car. Those Scholarships add up.

Reply by Bernice/CA on 2/6/07 11:37am
Msg #174284

Colleen,

You said "I already work 9-10 hour days" is this with another employer? If so, check with your HR department. This would be considered a "Change of Life Status" whereby if you previously waived benefits because of your spouses program, you and your family can obtain insurance through your current employer outside of the Open Enrollment period. This may be cheaper than paying COBRA and if there is a cost, may be pre-taxed.

Reply by DellaCa on 2/6/07 11:52am
Msg #174289

Chin up Colleen, my thoughts are with you.

Reply by Larry/Ca on 2/6/07 12:06pm
Msg #174293

Colleen, Don't overlook VA medical......

benefits if your husband has been in the service. I can't say enough about these people. If you have served your country they will take care of you for life.

Larry

Reply by ZeeCA on 2/6/07 12:59pm
Msg #174300

Re: Colleen, your child in HS should look into all the

scholarships tied to service groups he can join.. I had an ongoing scholarship every semester for a svc group I had been a member of in hs.... and no one else qualified for it....

so, another avenue to look into...

Reply by patmos on 2/6/07 3:36pm
Msg #174336

Hello Colleen,

It seems your story is becoming quite prevalent in today's society. America isn't the land of opportunity it once was. Which leads me to my point that we must start thinking outside of the box. Secure coporate jobs with pensions is a thing of the past, as well as healthy bodies and minds. Our once chemical-free and natural-grown food has sky-rocketed "health" care. We used to have COBRA as well, but realized that the insurance wasn't giving us better health, just somewhat offsetting the costs of the doctor bills. We decided to take responsibility with our jobs and our health. We are able to work from home, notary work being one means, and we also decided it would be wiser to use the money once set aside for insurance and put it toward health prevention and maintenance instead. We have come across the discovery of glyconutrients which have been nothing less than miraculous. Now I don't mean to sound like one of those "oh, hear's another health supplement" people. But it's impossible to ignore the numerous, I mean thousands, of testimonies we have heard regarding overcoming things doctors send you to hospice for. I urge you to consider a different avenue of thinking, and the possibility of improving your health. Please take the time to check out this website, www.vitalcarbs4life.com/reallifestories/pictures.html also the site www.glycostory.com/patmos . Best wishes for your future.
Patrick

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/6/07 4:12pm
Msg #174350

Patmos is Advertising n/m

Reply by Blueink_CA on 2/6/07 4:15pm
Msg #174352

Re: Patmos is Advertising

Yeah Brenda, that's what I thought too. I wonder if he drives a pink caddy?

Reply by MelissaCT on 2/6/07 4:36pm
Msg #174361

Colleen -- My Dad survived this twice

laid off back in the 80's & worked at Bradlee's for their medical bene's (while us kids were younger). Laid off after 20 years with a company in 2004 -- he was able to safely change to a different type of insulin, by talking with his doctor. He ended up decreasing his dosage a bit to keep his supply a bit longer. It might be helpful to talk to your doc about lower-cost prescription alternatives to what you're currently taking. Or, ask them to change the quantity issued to save on co-pays.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/7/07 2:00am
Msg #174463

Regardless of what some might advise, I recommend you make your health insurance a top priority and don't allow for ANY lapses in coverage or you may not be able to get it again at ANY cost. I'm also in the major risk category and health insurance is a significant expense for me (for mighty little coverage) so I know how you feel. (It's also one of the first bills I pay every month, although not happily! ;>) But if illness raises it's ugly head again, you'll have a whole different set of choices you don't want! It's just not worth taking a chance, imo. Somewhere I have info on available resources to help you navigate the waters of health insurance (and legal matters) for your situation. If I can get my hands on them I'll send it to you off the board. Good luck and God bless...