Posted by Hugh Nations Signing Agents of Austin on 7/2/07 12:34am
Msg #198053

Friday closing

I figured I was in for some poor housekeeping from the appearance of the front porch: unswept grass clipping, cigarette butts spilled from a rain-filled ashtray, overturned flowerpot.

Inside, the overwhelming stench of dank cigarette smoke confirmed my earlier suspicions. I was halfway through the living room before I realized the place also reeked of cat urine, initially masked by cigarette smoke. I should have walked out right then.

In the dining room, I was shown my chair. It was about 20 inches from a flattened pile of either dog poop or cat vomit; I never was able to quell my quivering stomach long enough to ascertain which, though it was apparent someone at some earlier time had stepped in it. As I sat down at the table, a roach skittered from beneath my descending briefcase and halted midway across the table. He didn’t stay there long; instead, he continued on across to the other side when he was frightened off by one of the largest houseflies I’ve ever seen.

A little ways into the closing, with a cohabitating young man and his vapid live-in, and a blowsy peroxided grandmother who was selling the house to the couple, I asked if a flower arrangement could be moved to give me a bit more room.

“Well, yeah,” the grandmother reluctantly conceded, "but it’s covering up some scars on the table." Indeed it was covering up quite a few cigarette burns, along with what appeared to be the remains of syrup from a breakfast in April.

I got through the closing, despite many utterly inane interruptions by the constantly hacking grandmother. As I as putting up my stamp, the grandmother notes, between coughs, “You’re not a very happy person, are you?”

And all that time I had kissed her off as a just a dumb, rum-soaked piece of Black Lung.

Reply by aciardoNY on 7/2/07 7:44am
Msg #198069

I think we all have our limits ... when I was in a similar situation as to the cat thing... ( I'm getting queasy just going there ) When I got called for a resign... I had my kids with me . We HAD to sign on the front porch. SAVED whew
If I ever run into that again.... I am going to excuse myself, go outside and call the hiring co. Tell them that due to the conditions in the home I cannot continue .
As in " if there were children here they would be removed from the home. If it were a puppy, the aspca would remove it"
You don't need to bring any friends home either.
I wonder why we don't have a universal " code " for get me out of here.
As in call the SS and say " I need to speak to department C" which should be their clue something is very wrong.
You have my sympathies ...

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/2/07 7:51am
Msg #198071

Re: Friday closing - kids with you?

Did you take them b/c you wanted a reason to stay on the porch in this particular case? I guess I am saying, you don't usually take them with you, right?

Reply by aciardoNY on 7/2/07 3:26pm
Msg #198193

Re: Friday closing - kids with you?

Yes... I am horrible I used my kids and the heat to stay on the front porch. NO I don't take my kids to a closing

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/2/07 3:45pm
Msg #198198

Re: Friday closing - kids with you? - got it! n/m

Reply by Bob_Chicago on 7/2/07 8:23am
Msg #198077

In these situations, you might want to consider pleading....

severe allergies (filth in this case, but no need to specify):
and adjurn to the nearest MickeyDs if it is within a reasonable
distance (not more than a two day drive in this case)
Isn't it great dealing with the public in their homes????
Have a great July 4th all. FLY THOSE FLAGS

Reply by Robin Vogel on 7/2/07 9:29am
Msg #198090

I have ran into similar situtaions, but to me judging one's houskeeping habits, is just wrong. We are there in their home to do a job, just do it and get out. This is just all part of our jobs, we take chances going into someone else's home. Good luck in the future.

Reply by CJ on 7/2/07 9:52am
Msg #198096

Clean houses / messy houses.

I have noticed that when the house is clean and nice, the people tend to say, "Please excuse the mess.' Messy people never apologise for the mess.

P.S. She said, "you are not a happy person, are you." Maybe you are an unhappy person, but I think you were more reacting to her house than her being able to see into your soul. Who could be happy sitting in there?

Seeing all these houses: it is amazing how some houses are so cheery and wonderful, and some are homemade hell. Some people take the effort to make their place nice (not talking about money, just clean and happy), and some people just let the chaos pile up.

Reply by Becca_FL on 7/2/07 10:10am
Msg #198100

It happens to us all. I had a closing on Friday the 15th that I will never forget. The experience was so disgusting that I have not been able to write about it until now.

When I pulled up to the property, I knew it would be bad, but had no idea how bad it would get. Cars parked on the lawn, cigarette butts, no grass, filthy children playing in the street...you get the picture. Upon entering the home I realize they have no A/C. It was about 85 degrees outside and because they had all the windows closed even with box fans blowing it was about 90 degrees in the home.

We sit down in the small eat-in kitchen and start signing. The elderly man signing has difficulties signing his name due to arthritis and poor circulation. As I sit there sweating, I see a roach run across the table. This was not a Palmetto bug, but a German cockroach. I think about my briefcase on the floor. One of the owners off-spring comes into the small kitchen and opens the fridge...I see about 10 roaches come out of the fridge. The man pulls out boxes of frozen fish sticks, shrimp and french fries. Oh no, please God no...don't turn on the over. I'm sitting with my back about a foot away from the oven and if he turns it on it's going to get unbearably hot.

The oven is missing the insulated part of the door and the man turns the oven on 375. As soon as that oven started heating up, a battalion of German Cockroaches started scattering all over the kitchen. My purse was on my knee the whole time but my briefcase, as I said earlier, was on the kitchen floor...down there with the hundreds of roaches.

I felt something crawl down my back and I jumped out of my chair. Thank goodness I was able contain my yelp...it was only sweat dripping down my back, no bug. At that point I was ready to leave, but I sucked it up and finished. When I left, I put my bag in the back of the car and stopped to pick up a bug bomb before going home to shower. I got home, stripped down in the garage, left the briefcase in the car, rolled down the car windows, shut the garage door and bombed the garage.

It's no wonder that the lender was holding back $8000 in escrow for new kitchen cabinets and counter tops. Mrs. Borrower just couldn't understand why, she said the kitchen was fine. Go figure?

I still think about calling the health department.

Reply by jba/fl on 7/2/07 10:59am
Msg #198108

Had one just like yours Becca, wife lazily slapping roaches on table. Got in car, drove around corner, took briefcase out of car and emptied on side of road, sifted through and put back together. Much the same procedure when I got home. Then, couple days later had to go back and get a QC Deed done - signed on hood of car - I refused to go in.
(All judgmental comments eliminated, sacrificed so as not to offend the sensibilities of others)

Reply by ZeeCA on 7/2/07 11:06am
Msg #198111

in the future... rethink the bug bomb in a closed garage ... most garages have hot water heaters etc and this could be dangerous as a friend's prev experiece could tell you.....

Reply by Becca_FL on 7/2/07 11:11am
Msg #198114

I turned off the water heater and A/C at the breaker, but very good point, Zee.

Reply by Brenda_CO on 7/2/07 11:32am
Msg #198120

property condition

Becca, you're a brave person! I would have left as soon as I saw the condition of the outside as you described it! When I first started this business, I went into a couple of places that made me nervous, but nothing as you described. I just couldn't! I mean, your health and safety shouldn't be on the line just because you are a notary!

Reply by DebbieT on 7/2/07 12:03pm
Msg #198138

Re: property condition

I commend you Becca for your dedication. WOW!

Reply by Amalia Contreras on 7/2/07 1:29pm
Msg #198167

Becca you discribe what a went through about a month ago!!! but beside the crockroaches, I was worried about the mice running around the floor!!! OMG!!!

Reply by MelissaCT on 7/3/07 10:25am
Msg #198310

Always keep bags zipped!! You never know -- even a "clean"

appearance doesn't mean no critters.