Posted by NCLisa on 6/13/07 11:17am
Msg #194869

OT - Lawyer Joke

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.


Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.


After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."


"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.


The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"


"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.


"MY GOLD ROLEX!"

Reply by Charm_AL on 6/13/07 11:25am
Msg #194870

cute-- back atcha

The Duck & the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and
now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this;
with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and
so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from
his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "O'kay, you old
fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Reply by Stuart Posner on 6/13/07 6:09pm
Msg #194970

Re: OT - Lawyer Joke...ok not exACTly lawyers but mimes

Why do sharks not eat mimes.....A mime is a TERIBBLE thing to taste

and in the same vein...why do sharks not eat clowns........they taste funny


"thank you, thank you....I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders."