Posted by HrdwrkrVA on 12/13/08 11:47am
Msg #271868

Roaches ***DO NOT READ WHILE EATING!!!!***

Never seen this addressed before!
1 - Arrived @ BO's home;
-followed her to her home office
-tiny baby roaches swarming over her desk
-she: "oh, excuse me", while nonchalantly sweeping afore-mentioned roaches from desk where we we were to to signing
- me: after an unintenional yelp, high-tailing it up the stairs & out of the house, while yelling over my shoulder, "I'm sorry - I can't work around roaches. Can you meet me at a McDonald's (which she did)?"

2 - Eldery gent leads me into his (filthy) kitchen, where I proceed to set up on the table, while he leaves room to get ID
- a roach runs across the KITCHEN TABLE!
- I yelp & shout to him "we have to do this outside"
- the poor old man & I conduct signing in blustery conditions, while I refuse his pleas to go inside ("the roaches shouldn't be too bad" he says).

Besides the above scenarios, I've had the :
- hoarders, whose homes were sooooo cluttered, we had to hold the paperwork on our knees, picnic coolers; where it was so cluttered I had to literally put one foot in front of the other thru the VERY narrow path of stuff.

- pet owners,, with whom I almost always have to demand they cordone off their pets for our brief 30-45 minute BUSINESS meeting. I LOVE animals, but not:
a- all over my business clothes (one guy assured me his yorkies don't bite, while they were clawing at my silk pants legs). For some reason, it's ok for dogs big or small, to JUMP on visitors. I try to wear business casual exclusively, but sometimes I have an upscale meeting place or client! I also have a lint roller in my car, but it's hard to get all the hair sometimes whilie I WEARING the clothes!

b- When I told one couple I was allergic (after waiting 20 moinutes for them to return from eating pizza), she screamed at her poor husband: "then let them send somone who's not allergic to dogs!", as I stood in the doorway. I guess I could have suggested we go back to the pizza place or something. A friend suggested I tell people when I confirm, but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. Why do people get OFFENDED at people who have ALLERGIES?????? As I sit there with horribly stuffy nose (sometimes sneezing my head off), they assure me their pet is 'hypoallegeric' !

On the plus side, most people are sooo grateful for the convenience of having someone come to them: they don't have to get a sitter, can still help w/ kids' homework or prepare dinner (albeit intermittently), they thank me profusely.

Any comments, suggestions? Again, when I tell most people I have allergies, they are usually very co-operative. Sometimes I have to gently suggest: This won't take long - maybe you can put Marmaduke in another room - I'll be out of here in no time!

Reply by SueW/Tn on 12/13/08 12:08pm
Msg #271869

I'll ask you what I ask the waitress that hates truck drivers working at a truck stop OR cashiers working with the public that hate people or vet techs that hate animals...why in the world would you be a mobile notary if it means you have to go into peoples homes?

You and I would never sign docs together.

You would be in my home at my convenience and I would be paying you. Sometimes we bend, sometimes we break. Rent an office and have your high end clients come to you, wear your silk pants all day long, don't get your feet muddy and no pet hair at the end of your day.

Reply by Yowheelz on 12/13/08 12:29pm
Msg #271871

Never had roaches just really disgusting dirty smelly houses

I just go home and take a long hot shower.

Reply by John_NorCal on 12/13/08 12:30pm
Msg #271872

I would have to draw the line at the roaches, not good! n/m

Reply by sue_pa on 12/13/08 12:37pm
Msg #271873

I'm in the middle here.

I also will not allow dogs to jump and climb all over me - that's rude and ignorant and I don't put up with that. I am paid to get loan docs signed, not to be mauled by a stupid mutt. As for the allergies part, putting them out of the room won't help and if they're that bad, I also don't know how anyone can do this job.


As for the roaches, that's a case by case situation. The worst one I ever saw I stood and told them to sign quickly - I put each doc in front of them with ZERO explaination and said sign and we were onto the next sheet. It was horrible. It was summer and I had on a sun dress. I went outside and did a little hoochey-koo dance then dumped my purel everywhere I could. I dumped my bag on the street. I tapped and hit it upside down several times. I called the LO and told him if they said I was rude this was the reason. He called me back apologizing ... he looked at the appraisal and the appraiser had made notes about the bug infestation. He said if he'd have noticed that he'd have insisted they meet me in public.

As for the messes, I just scratch my head and wonder how people live that way. Then I go home and look around and decide I'm not as messy as I think I am sometimes.

Reply by jba/fl on 12/13/08 1:21pm
Msg #271874

Sue just confirms what I've believed all my life:

One does what one must do (chooses to do).

I've done the same, although I did drive to the corner and emptied everything and not in front of the BO. I have the most irrational fear of roaches - am convinced that one day I will open my oven and there will be one the size of the whole interior. I will die that day I am sure...LOL.

Reply by PAW on 12/13/08 1:35pm
Msg #271875

Re: Sue just confirms what I've believed all my life:

Julianne, you live in Florida where the state mascot is the Palmetto Bug, aka Waterbug, aka American Cockroach. They're everywhere, clean and dirty. They move furniture, stop squeaky doors and eat small dogs. (Oops, that's a gator, another pet of Florida.) They seem to occupy the same habitats as the state bird, the mosquito.

Reply by jba/fl on 12/13/08 2:08pm
Msg #271876

But Paw, they don't live in my house & car! Honest...just a

stray from time to time. I know they must live outside because I have tons of lizards, anoles, chameleons, and when I garden and scuff one up it is gone in an instant by my yard critter friends. The Cuban frogs are useless though: they eat my critter friends and nothing eats them. Have squashed a few in my door frames...eech!

Reply by JanetK_CA on 12/15/08 3:37am
Msg #271939

ROFLMAO!!!!

Since I read Sue's description of her hoochey-coo dance, I've been wiping my eyes from laughing so hard... and it kept on going! (I scared the snot out of my poor cat who was asleep at my feet -- he's probably hiding under the bed by now...) Oh, my goodness! It's especially funny 'cause I've been there, done that, like so many others, but luckily for me, not too often.

I'm in the camp that says the original poster may need to find another line of work -- or carefully limit what assignments are accepted. Putting up with "surprises" is part of the business, whether it be cats, dogs, birds, cockroaches, ants, clutter, or 2-year old triplets working on their potty training in the same room while you try to keep mom's and dad's attention on the documents... Yeah, been there, done that!

Reply by Les_CO on 12/13/08 4:26pm
Msg #271880

Dogs, cats, kids, cramped, clutter, bugs, smoking, smells, inconvience, traffic, storms, neighborhood, darkness, etc. It’s called “dealing with the public”. If you can’t do this…go work in an office.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 12/13/08 5:04pm
Msg #271882

I'll admit that I can handle the cluttered houses, pets, etc. I can even handle bugs if I have to (*if* I have to). I was a missionary in Brazil and I saw just about everything and all kinds of living conditions. The worst one was this 10x10 brick shack where a family of 5 all slept on a single, flea infested mattress. I still have scars from some of those flea bites. So, not much could surprise or even disgust me when it comes to living conditions. Okay, a few things might disgust me still...

I have to admit, though... I would never DREAM of letting anyone in my home if I had a bug problem or a messy house. I would insist on meeting elsewhere. And I have long learned that my cats get sent to the bedroom. One of them is extremely curious and social and will climb on any stranger to "inspect" them and say hello. He's a wonderful cat, he just has bad social habits around strangers. So, I lock him up. I was so embarrassed the first time he jumped on a guest and starting sniffing around her face an hair. She loved it, fortunately... she was a total cat person... but I won't let him do it anymore.

What bothers me the most is smoke. I have a hereditary bronchial condition that makes me hyper-sensitive to all kinds of smoke and air pollutants. That's a tough one, but I deal with it as best I can.

Reply by Les_CO on 12/13/08 5:30pm
Msg #271885

I don’t smoke. I have done signings in houses where people DO smoke, and I mean smoke! Those old ashtrays about a foot across,. Full of 100 plus butts and a number of them around the room. It would take a good five gallon bucket to empty them all. Plus the doc’s sticking to the table (if there is a table) the kids running off with the pens, and the dog licking me, the docs, and everything in sight. This is either a real pain in the a--, or just part of the job. As for your sensitivty to smoke, you just have to deal with it, open a window, go outside, mostly TAKE CONTROL of the closing, if you can. If not, no one says you HAVE to do this…it’s your choice.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 12/13/08 5:38pm
Msg #271888

I agree, actually. I have ways of managing it... but for me that's really only aspect of visiting homes that gets to me...which is the incentive to get the job done, done well and get out.

And I always have a folding card tables and chairs in my car in case all else fails. This is mostly because my husband is in to astronomy and we often find ourselves in unusual, dark places with no place to sit.

Reply by LKT/CA on 12/13/08 7:53pm
Msg #271892

I've done signings in cluttered homes... filthy homes...homes that were both cluttered AND filthy. If I saw roaches, I would do as you did, HrdwrkrVA, I would excuse myself and suggest we either go outside or meet at Starbucks (or someplace). People do have the right to have roaches, mice, fleas, and whatever else they have in their homes. I have every right NOT to carry your creatures and their eggs back to mine.

I don't wear fancy clothes to any notary jobs. I have 3 pairs of inexpensive, machine washable, plain slacks - black, navy and brown and several collared, button front shirts to mix and match. All bought on clearance at various places and set aside for signing appointments. I will not chance ruining expensive clothes to filth or pets clawing at my clothes. The last signing I did, the place was filthy and cluttered and the chair I sat in ----let's just say the thing needed to be condemned and burned. And I didn't have a towel to put on my car seat before I got in. Ick !!! As soon as I got home, those slacks went in the wash. Car seat looked okay but I probably should have sprayed it with something.

The only really annoying thing is when the borrower has not cleared the clutter from the table for a spot to sign. Heck....you knew I was coming days ago.....why am "I" the one carving a spot on the table for the signing?

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/13/08 8:11pm
Msg #271893

Oooh - I see I touched a nerve w/ SueW! Despite my allergies, I actually love dog, but I mean c’mon: Do you let your pets jump on the cable guy, the electrician, or the phone guy??? And as much as they all may love their jobs, if they get hurt from being knocked over by pets, or tripping over your debris, trust me: you WILL get sued (unless they can get workman’s comp – WE can’t). While I’m sure you carry plenty of homeowners insurance for these situations, most of us would rather not go there – but we all still want to make a living (e.g.: working in a bank or convenience store, but not wanting to get robbed)!

I thoroughly enjoy this 95 – 97% of the time: awesome conversations w/ ordinary people, ordinary conversations w/ awesome folks (Alberto Gonzales in the West Wing of the White House!; the Dr. from the ‘nanny/shaken baby’ case; the family of a poor 8 yr. old murder victim). While there are hazards inherent in everything, most of us naturally want to minimize them.

Re the silk pants: while I take my profession seriously & always dress accordingly, I know all of us kinda get indignant when we receive dress policies w/ our confirms, but some folks DO take too much leeway just because we can.

I had a 6:30 AM Sat. appt in a golfing community (unbeknownst to me), for which I arrived @ 6:25in bus cas: long, black a-line sundress w/ black sundress. Afterwards the wife thanked me profusely for dressing appropriately: the last guy wore jeans & a t-shirt.

The 1st time I re-fied, the 400+ lbs. gent wore holey, stained, sweatpants w/ a VERY short, tight t-shirt. I realize his difficulty in finding comfy clothes – but is it too much to ask that they be clean, in one piece & his belly NOT protruding??? We ARE professionals.

After being attacked by the 2 Maltese dogs, I reverted to a winter uniform: 2 very dressy velour suits w/ sling-backs or comfy dress boots (at night). Still I don’t want my work clothes ripped to shreds! Note: my clothes did NOT get ripped to shreds. After I yelled: “they’re tearing my pants!”, the owner then intervened & took them away - before that, he was just watching them! Most of the time, responsible folks realize they are conducting business & have their pets, tables, etc.

As for the roaches, as most people know:

They don’t die, they multiply!


I have to agree w/ not at least clearing the table off, although I’ve come to realize that in extreme cases (where you literally have 5-6 inch wide path), these are hoarders & I believe that is a recognized mental illness/ disease. I’ve been in quite a few of those to the extent that I really feared for the safety of the individual, especially if there were a fire. Not only would this be fuel for the fire, the piles are so high, that the person would be hard to find – that’s really sad!

All in all, there are always limits as to what people will take. Thanks to all of my peers who offered their thoughts.

Reply by SueW/Tn on 12/14/08 6:40am
Msg #271906

I've read every post in this thread and

yea I guess you did push one of my buttons...the one that makes me roll my eyes when someone thinks they can dictate to a client what they can and cannot do within the confines of their own home. Upon this second post of yours I see you're also pushing the button that says "I'm the one your insurance company warned you about".

You then post further about all of your experiences and how well you've done in your long and successful career. Everyone on this forum and in this business have had similar experiences, that's one of those mysterious draws to what we do...never a dull moment.

You go on and on listing your entire wardrobe and even throw in that of the borrower. We KNOW what you're saying, proof of your professionalism is how you handle your clients in the eye of the storm. Making an elderly gentleman go outside in "blustery weather" borders on being a bully, not a professional. Personally that one "got to me", the fact that you actually believe you have that much power and authority is frightening.

But that's the good part about this business, we all can pick and choose how we elect to represent the Lender. Some of us believe it's all in appearance, some believe it's being a people person, and then there's some of us that combine the two. Have a happy holiday...

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/14/08 11:24am
Msg #271916

You're mistaken

Believe me, 2 warm up suits & 1 sundress are not my entire wardrobe, but you miss that point. You make it almost sound as if I were trying to brag about my wardrobe - huh - athletic wear???? LOL!!! Other than my 'silk pants', the other clothing is BUSINESS CASUAL & INEXPENSIVE! I learned my lesson after that attack NOT to wear REALLY nice clothes! I was trying to illustrate how bus cas CAN be dressed up to look professional. In addition to conducting ourselves in a professional manner, I think we owe it to the BO to look professional, if only to give them more confidence in a total stranger, who just happens to have ALL of their personal info. The SS's are the ones who dictate/suggest a dress code – which in the US, most of us know that there are appropriate clothes for different occasion. I had a friend who actually wore shorts to signings – I personally think that’s out of line.

Also, you’re mistaken –I NEVER mentioned any borrower’s wardrobe – only the notary who did my first re-fi (smelly, holey sweats). When a borrower thanked me for dressing appropriately (I guess @ 6:30 on a Sat am, they didn’t know WHAT to expect) – SHE brought up the jeans & tee the other person had on. I merely described what I had on b/c it was so SIMPLE and BASIC – a VERY plain sundress – the slings evidently made it look dressier than I realized. My point – it’s not hard to dress comfy, appropriately AND inexpensively.

Almost every one of us, who used to work 9-5 in corporate America, can recall a dress code being passed out – usually directed at women. Guys have a lot less choices to make mistakes – no jeans, no polo shirts, no deck shoes – pretty much common sense. Women – it depends on the 9-5. Fashion mags always show camisoles, cleavage, etc. that might not be considered appropriate in some companies. When I worked in NY on Wall Street (in the 90’s), some firms’ no-no’s:
- no sleeveless tops
- no toe-out shoes
- no bare legs
Again, I was illustrating (I thought), how I DON”T dress up – just make it look professional w/ slings. C’mon – athletic wear, a SUNDRESS??? No, no, no, no, no, no - I don’t think so!

True, I DIDN"T know how to handle the older gent (the MAIN REASON for my post), but I wasn't about to let that roach come home w/ me! I guess there are some times when a signing could be aborted, if a situation is intolerable for the agent – but I do believe in living up to my obligations. And true, everyone does have their own personal standards – but roaches would the last straw for most people. I don’t care in other people have them – I just don’t want other people’s roaches!

I have been hit on by a married man. Did the closing w/ him & wife. Add'l docs needed for husband to sign only. Went back, signed & at the end he hit on me (wife was out of town). Declined, shook hands & left. Now if this happened at the beginning, w/ full set of docs..., who knows? If he tried to get physical, definitely not - this was at the end, thank goodness!

The couple that probably had some dead animals that they were obviously used to??? I wasn't trying to dictate what they do in their home - that was my stomach - a purely physiological reaction (I DIDN"T want to do a George H!!!!).

If I thought that my reactions were absolutely correct, I wouldn't be ASKING for other, more genteel solutions. Roaches crawling on me or my stuff, or throwing up in someone's house are OUT of the question. As I said before, this has ONLY happened a few times in 6 yrs. - if this happened once a week, I'd look for another profession. Just b/c something happens a couple of times in a few yrs., doesn’t mean you quit. Isn’t this forum to trade ideas, info…find workable SOLUTIONS??????

Reply by JanetK_CA on 12/15/08 3:49am
Msg #271940

I agree with your comment about awesome conversations and people, but I found your reference to real individuals to be highly inappropriate and not at all professional. jmho

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/13/08 8:41pm
Msg #271895

That's my biggest fear - carrying them back to MY place. Once you get an infestation problem, it can be nearly impossible to get rid of - especially if you live in an apartment or condo! But when that roach ran across that table after I'd just set my papers & briefcase down, I popped up like a Jack-in-the-box! Remember the last episode of the 1st Creepshow? Ugh!!!

Reply by LKT/CA on 12/13/08 8:45pm
Msg #271896

<<<I popped up like a Jack-in-the-box! Remember the last episode of the 1st Creepshow? Ugh!!!LOL!!!

Reply by LKT/CA on 12/13/08 8:53pm
Msg #271897

Oops! Hit "post" too fast

And the game faces we have to put on.....the body language, voice tone, and demeaner that do not reveal we think the Bo's home is a digusting pit! I don't expect a sterile home, heck, mine ain't sterile. I just don't like walking out of a house feeling like I have to call hazmat and go through the decontamination process.

I examined my slacks for possible condemnation and incineration and concluded that they were okay to wash and wear again.

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/13/08 9:29pm
Msg #271899

Re: Oops! Hit "post" too fast

Except for those 2 roach incidents, I always have my 'game face' on too. I'm always very professional even though we are conducting this thing on a corner of the table literally big enough for a coffee cup! Several times when the BO leads me to a table quite littered w/ crumbs & liquids, I'll matter-of-factly ask for something to wipe the table off - I don't think the TC's want spinach or Kool-aid on their docs! It doesn't happen often, when it does, I'm always amazed (though I'm CAREFUL not show it), how they could possibly expect you to sit at a table that hasn't been cleared & cleaned off! Imagine if this happened at restaurants!

One time (this has NOTHING to do with allergies!) I was in a home that had such a foul odor, I felt nauseous & had to excuse myself outside to "make a phone call". I always tab my pages , so I told the BO's to continue signing. I consider myself to have an iron stomach, but everytimeI felt my bile rising, I went and made a 'phone call'! I'm sure there was probably something dead in there, but how are you supposed to handle something like that. When other professionals are in situations like that, they wear masks.

All of you who previously said "it comes with the territory" - what would you do? Especially since the people are obliviuos/ used to it? It's one thing to sneeze in someone's house, but...? Short of carrying a mask with me or pulling a 'George H. Bush'? Thankfully, this doesn't happen often!

Reply by Claudine Osborne on 12/13/08 9:48pm
Msg #271900

Live and let live and we deal with it! n/m

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 12/13/08 10:38pm
Msg #271901

This may sound crazy, but...

After my experience in Brazil with the fleas, I actually carry a spray bottle with a home made mixture of eucalyptus, lavender and lemongrass oils. It smells nice without being overpowering and works as a nice flea repellent for an hour or two. I will spritz it on my bag, legs and feet anytime I think I may encounter the little buggers. If I have enough warning, I also have it mixed olive oil rather than water and I'll rub on my legs and arms like a lotion.

Reply by MichiganAl on 12/14/08 2:27am
Msg #271903

I guess I'm different

I've had dogs on my lap, I love it. I've had cats sitting on top of the loan docs, doesn't bother me. I've seen cockroaches, termites, water bugs, doesn't faze me. I had a tarantula in my hand at one home, coolest thing ever. Snake on my arm, check. Parrot pooping on my shoulder, no problem. Ferret, white rat, rabbit, loved it.

I hate it when they smoke, and I have multiple physical reactions to excess smoke. But the thing is, it's there house. Period. You deal with it (or even embrace it as I do with animals). If you can't, you're in the wrong field.

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/14/08 6:16am
Msg #271904

Re: I guess I'm different

Even if you embrace it, do you show up w/ parrot poop on your shoulder at your next signing (or torn clothes for that matter)? Maybe the heavy guy w/ the torn sweats had them torn at his previous appt, but it just looked sloppy to me.

Sometimes (ideally), I have back-to-back appts - besides, I don't carry extra clothingw/ me.

How would you just deal w/ it if you got hurt & were unable to work?

The couple that had the ferocious odor probably had several dead animals in there - I've smelled one dead mouse before. Even at crime scenes, the peolpe have to wear masks because of the odors & germs. How does one make oneself NOT throw up??? I'm sure George H. would like to know.

I'm not just belly-aching - I'm pro-actively looking for solutions to infrequent issues. Some are icky, some are amusing. Every job has risks - you don't just quit - you don't just deal w/ it - I mean, would you just throw up on someone & tell them to get over it? For the record, in 6 yrs., I've only encountered 2 homes that literally made me nauseous & I thought I handled them well.

When I encountered a smoker (in her private office), after I started to swoon , I asked her if we could open a window, and she was very apologetic & amenable.

I don't go in these folks spaces w/ a white glove or anthing like that. Likje I said earlier, some of this is an actual disease & the people have learned to deal w/ it.

Early on, I ran into a beautiful older woman in a very small condo. This was where we only had a coffe cup sized corner to work on. In her kitchen, every inch of every surface (even her stove!) was piled high w/ stuff - I realized she probably couldn't cook.

Almost, by way of introducing herself, She announced , "I come from a long line of slovenly women". I now know it's a disease, but is it hereditary? I felt really sad when I left there - she seemed so alone in the middle of all that stuff. There probably is some emotional distress tied to this.

Another couple looked like they were moving b/c everything was in boxes. The dining room table was piled high w/ stuff. this is where we had to sign on a cooler (I learned that w/ my bad back - that's NOT cool!)! Even though she seemed overly upbeat, her husband was chair-bound, feeble & very sickly - very very sad!

The most surprising: a beautiful (on the outside) home in what's known as 'horse country': picture these country mansions w/ wooden fences, horses grazing on acres of snow- covered pastures; BMW's, Mercedes, Volvo's. Pure Currier & Ives.

Inside: dark, dusty, dank. Piles of stuff EVERYWHERE! Piles a foot taller than me (I'm 5'7 1/2". I guess that's why it was so dark - the stuff was blocking the light from the lamps! It had a maze-like quality to it because you literally couldn't see where you came from! It was kinda spooky too, but also sad.

Note: most of the hoarders I’ve come across are not nasty people – they just collect stuff! Surprisingly, their homes are mostly clean (just a little dusty, which is probably why it doesn’t smell fresh inside), but dangerous from all the stuff lying on the floor. Often the piles are quite neat. The one w/ the 10 inch (not 4-5) path, had stuff just thrown or dropped on the floor, but you could see that a very deliberate path had been made for walking purposes.

I'll continue looking for creative solutions that are tactful, but minimize the situation. I mean, most firemen love their jobs, love working w/ people, but frown on homes that are fire hazards! And they wear masks when they go in burning buildings! Kudos to you for being able to embrace all things, including insect infestation, even if it means you bring that home with you! There’s no way I’m gonna have roaches in my house, just b/c I meet a slob once in a while – once they set up house-keeping, you’ve got roomies for life!

Reply by MistarellaFL on 12/14/08 8:52am
Msg #271909

Re: I guess I'm different

I must be too.
When I arrive and find there are animals, I tell the brws I am animal friendly, and if they don't bite, they are welcome to stay. Before long, dogs lie at my feet, cats curl up in my lap.
Doesn't bother me a bit.
I am also a smoker, but smoke does bother me when a ciggy is sitting in the ashtray just smoking away. I discourage smoking/drinking anything at the table, so I'll let them know that they should have a smoke/beverage while I am transferring info to my journal. (I tell them those lenders are picky about the condition of the docs (no spills, burns) upon their return to the lender. I don't know if they are so cooperative because they feel a kinship with another smoker, or if my delivery of the request is so good, but they are very cooperative with me.
I had one roach infested signing location, it grossed me out, and I was in and out quickly.
I din't mention anything: they already knew about their problem. The other "bad" situation was a home that had about a million kittens. The house reeked of ammonia/cat pee. That was the worst. But, again, I was out quickly.
I don't carry extra clothes either, and have never experienced parrot-poop on my suit. But if it did happen, I would laugh and and the brw's for a washcloth to clean myself up for the next appt. And then, if necessary, I would jokingly tell the next client about the parrot pooping on me.
No big deal to me. These are real people with real lives....and I am just passing through.
JME and MHO.

Reply by Teddog/CO on 12/14/08 6:35am
Msg #271905

Yikes! Roaches ***DO NOT READ WHILE EATING!!!!***

Sure hope you bug sprayed everything before you took it back into your house. Over the years I've seen just about everything. Roaches that's the living end. I have been in houses that were so dirty I had to go home, shower and change before the next appointment.
Yuck!!!

Reply by rengel/CA on 12/14/08 10:16am
Msg #271915

Who'd have thought that this profession...

would be something to show on Mike Roe's "Dirty Jobs"? ROFLMAO

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/14/08 11:25am
Msg #271917

Indeed - who'd thunk? n/m

Reply by LynnNC on 12/14/08 3:24pm
Msg #271923

The smell of human urine...

I had a closing last week with a man, where, when I arrived at his home, a woman had me follow her to a laundry room, and told me to knock on a door. I quietly asked her if the borrower was disabled and she said that he was. I knocked on the door and he told me to come in.

I opened the door and there was a tiny cluttered, dirty bathroom that I had to walk through to get to the bedroom. The room reeked of urine and there was a pile of soiled bed linens in a large box. The man was lying on a hospital bed and between him and me was a bucket on a chair with urine and a male portable urinal in it. Apparently, the man relieved himself with the urinal and emptied it into the bucket.

The man, who told me that he had diabetes nephritis, was not sitting up, but, reclining and asked me for a book on which to sign the documents. There was NO place where I could put the documents when I notarized them…I would just have to do it in my lap on a book. I asked him if I could move the bucket and chair so that I could get closer to hand him the documents. I was really concerned whether or not the closing could take place at all.

I began the closing by asking for his ID. He fumbled for his wallet and pulled out an old SS card and his driver's license which expired in July 2007. When I confirmed the closing I had told him that I would need to see a current driver's license or state ID. He said that at his last closing in September (the loan did not fund for a reason I won't go into) the notary accepted his ID and that was why he thought it would be OK. I explained that under notary law I had to see government-issued photo ID that was CURRENT.

I asked him if he had access to and was able to use his county social services transportation to go to the DMV to obtain a state ID card so the closing could take place another day. I called the signing service contact and told her of the problem. She agreed with my recommendation to him. I was relieved that I didn't have to complete the closing.

Two days later the signing service called to tell me that the man was going to obtain his ID that morning and asked would I go out later in the day to handle the closing. I explained to her what the situation was like when I went before, and said that I preferred not to go again. She told me that she was gagging just hearing me tell her about it and that she would find someone else.

Reply by Maureen_nh on 12/14/08 10:46pm
Msg #271935

Re: The smell of human urine...

Lynn, I really understand your repugnace over the whole situation, but seeing that they made the effort don't you think you could have done it?
Actually this was one of the ones where I would hope they didn't call me back.

Reply by LynnNC on 12/15/08 8:19am
Msg #271942

Re: The smell of human urine...

You have a point...I probably should have handled the closing because the borrower made the effort, which I know was difficult.

Reply by Ilene C. Seidel on 12/14/08 6:22pm
Msg #271928

I had a closing some months ago where the husband was in a wheel chair and roaches were crawling all over the chair and him. The wife just sat there as though nothing was wrong.
The gentleman was a dear and I just dealt with the bugs by moving around as fast a I could to keep them off me. And my briefcase and shoes were left out of my house til I was assured they weren't going to pay me a visit.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 12/14/08 8:38pm
Msg #271932

Interesting some of you who mentioned a change of clothing. I actually always carry a change of clothing in my car. Actually...enough for about 3 days with all of the supplies one might need in an evacuation. It comes from living my entire life in Earthquake country and having the preparedness routine drilled in to me. Granted, these clothes aren't professional work attire, but everything I wear can be tossed in a washing machine, so in an emergency, I would probably find a laundromat and wash my work clothes if I had the time.
This had got me thinking I should add some nicer clothing to the pack... the kind that travels well/doesn't wrinkle but still looks nice.

Reply by Sharon Taylor on 12/14/08 9:19pm
Msg #271933

It just takes one roach...and you're infested

I've had a few closings in homes that were either visibly roach infested or looked like they probably were. These days, if we're meeting at the borrower's home, I lock my purse in the car and just take in my briefcase, keys and cell phone, so if the home is roach infested, at least I just have to worry about my briefcase, which I try to keep on my lap if possible. We got roaches in our home 4 years ago, I think from when my son moved back in after breaking up with a trashy girlfriend and probably brought a few in his boxes of stuff. It was awful, I was in tears and a raging terror screaming "KILL, KILL, KILL" trying to get rid of them. I tried all the home remedies, but nothing worked. We finally hired an exterminator, and it took 3 visits before they were completely gone. Ick, ick, ick. Never ever again. Shudder.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 12/15/08 4:12am
Msg #271941

Re: It just takes one roach...and you're infested

In my neck of the woods (so to speak...) I don't recall ever seeing roaches, but the problem we have here is ants. I did a signing not too long ago where I tried not to put my feet down under the table the whole time I was going the signing. (Ants just love me. Yecch!) Even though I think I did a pretty good job of avoiding them, by the time we were done I felt itchy all over, like they were crawling all over me, just from thinking about it. Funny how I felt better once I left the house!

Thank goodness, ants don't spread like cockroaches do, because they're pretty endemic to Southern California. I had a couple of ant swarms in my condo the first year I moved in. Once they took over a bag of cat food and another time a whole pan full of home made cookies -- that I naturally had to toss. (Boo hoo!!) Fortunately, our association hired a new exterminator service and I haven't had a problem since. Even though the thought makes my skin crawl, I'll take ants over roaches any day of the week!

BTW, on that issue of cluttered tables... I've run into that all too often and I've come to the conclusion that people just don't realize what is involved. How many times do we have people want to direct us to the coffee table in the living room, for example. They just don't expect the huge pile of paper that we pull out of our briefcases. Same reason they sometimes don't allow enough time. They think they're just going to sign a few pages and will be done in a couple of minutes. It's one of the things I now try to cover when setting up the appointment (i.e. the time).

Reply by RJE/MI on 12/15/08 9:52am
Msg #271960

You HAVE to have a sense of humor but roaches...I don't know

I have run into some really bizarre situations in this business. Including, dirt, clutter, animals, unruly kids and even unruly signers and sometime it irritates me a little while it is happening but I usually just have to laugh after the fact. I mean some of the things some people do or present to total strangers in their own homes is hilarious depending on your standards. These are just people and they all have their ideas of how they want to live their lives. The stories I can tell make most people fall off their chairs. I won’t tell you any of them because I am sure you all have encountered the some of the same situations.

I absolutely love this job for many reasons but also because it is highly entertaining. Although I have never run into any roaches yet I am sure they are there. I am sure if I saw one I would not think it was funny but I would complete my assignment and continue to accept more.

Reply by snoopdogMs on 12/15/08 9:58am
Msg #271961

Use Vicks Vapor Rub for oder control

One could transfer some Vicks into a small round lip gloss container (for you guys use a tiny mint box)and nonchalantly act as if your lips are dry and put around nose opening to trick the brain. Some health care workers have all kinds of tricks. Might not be a bad idea to keep some on your person for these unfortunate scenarios.

Reply by CaliNotary on 12/15/08 11:50am
Msg #271966

Re: Use Vicks Vapor Rub for oder control

"One could transfer some Vicks into a small round lip gloss container (for you guys use a tiny mint box)and nonchalantly act as if your lips are dry and put around nose opening to trick the brain"

I don't think one can nonchalantly apply Vicks Vapor Rub in the middle of a signing. The borrowers would have to have a really bad sense of smell not to notice that distinct odor.

Reply by snoopdogMs on 12/15/08 12:41pm
Msg #271968

Re: Use Vicks Vapor Rub for oder control

Cali, First of all if the borrowers live under the smell of feces, urine and whatever else, what is it to them if one uses Vicks under the guise to sooth chapped lips? We're not talking putting on lipstick. You don't have to announce that it is Vicks in the container because most likely they are not going to inquire about the smell. It is really none of their business. So you missed the lip and accidentally got some close to your nose. Is there some law about using chapstick or other lip balm in public?

Reply by CaliNotary on 12/15/08 1:01pm
Msg #271969

Re: Use Vicks Vapor Rub for oder control

I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, I was just saying it's not something that can be done nonchalantly. You don't have to announce that it's Vicks in the container, it's going to announce itself as soon as you open it up. It'll be quite obvious that it's not lip balm.

Heck, it might be a good wakeup call for these people, to see that their house smells so disgusting that you have to put something under your nose just to mask the smell.

Reply by MW/VA on 12/16/08 9:19am
Msg #272008

Maybe we need to add to our list of things carried in our bag "can of roach spray".

Reply by HrdwrkrVA on 12/16/08 8:31pm
Msg #272064

Great suggestions - the extra clothes, et al. I've been thinking of combining several: seeing roaches:
- excuse myself & put briefcase, purse, coat in car
- stand & hand 1 sheet @ a time; no explanations
- however, if they're running rampant on the dining room table or me: no deal! That's just TOO icky & disgusting. Bugs ON me?? Nuttin' doin'l! I'll make an alternate suggestion & then call SS or TC - this ain't Survivor!

Reminds me of a time when I when I ordered an egroll in a foreign neighborhood. right after I placed my order, this huge roach appeared on the counter. I gasped, making a sucking in sound. Next thing I knew, the woman crushed it with her HAND & brushed it on the floor! I TOTALLY LOST IT , screamed OMG, while backing out in HORROR! Another couple had just walked up to order & stared @ me as I was saying"OMG, I can't believe she killed it with her hand"! They asked me what happened & I repeated the scenario. I was still backing out inn shock/horror While they turned & hightailed it outta there! The woman gave me this death stare from HELL!

The Vicks, though, How could they possibly smell IT (and not smell the feces)????

That reminds me of a off-campus college roommate who had terrible BO. I moved into his house sight unseen (silly young me), & the entire house smelled like him!! Trooper that I was, I just sucked it up & bought Pinesol & proceeded to scrub the wall (I don't recall if I did the ceiling). He comes home, nose scrunched up saying the house stinks; he could smell it down the street, blad, blah, blah! I guess when you're used to the bad smells, good becomes bad & vice versa!

Reply by GY_CT on 12/17/08 10:47am
Msg #272092

I've long ago found a simple solution to all these issues. First, when I call the borrowers I remind them that this would be a "good time to tie up the kids and keep the dogs in their rooms." Works every time. As for the roaches, make sure you tell the SS that you have an add-on fee if you encounter a non-roach-free environment. (Anything is tolerable for a price. So set it at your own threshold.) It won't make the roaches go away but it makes the signing table --shall we say?-- more palatable.