Posted by jmgberry_IA on 1/14/08 7:04pm
Msg #230577

Backdating

Let me start by saying that I, for quite some time have been reading posts on this site, and have referred to it quite often when an unknown (to me) company calls. I appreciate very much the input, especially from the well-informed professionals that post here. I don't typically post because of a couple of reasons, first and foremost, I don't seem to have a lot of time to do so, and by the time that I read a post, it is either old, or someone else has said the same thing I would have said.

Anyway, I thought that some of you may find this interesting, amusing, disgusting…my mother is completing some home improvements, and decided to take a HELOC. She is VERY naive about anything to do with business, so she asked me to go with her to the local credit union, more as a somewhat informed individual(not legal), and concerned daughter than anything. I told her that I would go. We got there, and the LO was having her backdate the documents!!! She would have never thought anything about it - she would have figured that if the "banker" said to do it, it's okay! They had no idea of the business that I am in. I politely asked them, "Isn't backdating a document illegal?" My mom kind of looked at me like "please don't embarrass me here, they know me here", and so I asked the question again. The LO looked at me, and said, "Well, it's okay, if we don't do this honey your mom won't have her loan". I thought "Honey? She just called me honey!" Enough. I politely told her that I am a Notary Public, working primarily in having loan documents signed and notarized and that my mom will not be signing these documents. All of the sudden, her demeanor changed - "You know, I think that you are right. Ma'am, I'll need to get this corrected, and we'll reschedule". Thank you very much!

Reply by ZeeCA on 1/14/08 7:26pm
Msg #230578

UMMMM??? honey.... I am lmao... n/m

Reply by dickb/wi on 1/14/08 7:53pm
Msg #230584

kudos to you............... n/m

Reply by JanetK_CA on 1/14/08 8:31pm
Msg #230590

I second that!

And I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't like to be called "honey" or ("dear", etc.) by a total stranger. I find it condescending, as if they are talking to a child. I realize some people don't mean it that way (they may just be trying to be friendly), but I hope it's only because they haven't stopped to think about it! I think it's disrespectful, and if they are trying to give out some warm fuzzys, it ain't working -- at least not with me!

Reply by Susan Fischer on 1/14/08 9:58pm
Msg #230604

Another take: I'm old. And reminded of a 'Tone of Voice.'

"Don't use that tone of voice with me, young lady," my mother spat, when I was out of line so many far years ago.

In other words, for instance - "Thanks, hon..." from a gal on the other end of the line, putting out *that* particular fire - to another gal who helped solve that problem, to me, is more of an endearment: from one working stiff to another; you and me, sister, dearie, sweetie peetie, sugar booger -it's you and me and we got 'er done.

180 from that, is the "Go put your quarter in the juke box, honey, we're playin' this one for money," a disgusting pool hall dismissal of a legitimate [female] challenger. That demeaning ~tone~...

The tone of voice and circumstance create the tale that tells the intent of the story.

So, well I remember the lessons of my mother and her mother, their persistant sepia shadows on my shoulder, reminding me in their gentle manner, to regard a tone of voice.

Reply by Burton Georgia Loan Closers.com on 1/14/08 10:26pm
Msg #230607

Re: Another take: I'm old. And reminded of a 'Tone of Voice.'

Good points that demonstrate the numerous landmines that exist in oral communications and more so in written communications and every present in our midst.

Burton F.

Reply by Susan Fischer on 1/14/08 10:58pm
Msg #230611

Just so. n/m

Reply by Les_CO on 1/14/08 11:38pm
Msg #230615

So did your Mom get her loan? BTW was the LO going to Notarize any of the docs? On the date Indicated? I hope it worked out okay...life's to short to have to deal with with ignorant people in supposed positions of authority

Reply by CJ on 1/15/08 12:45am
Msg #230622

I am so glad that you spoke up and protected your mom. I think people who don't have integrity in one area, they probably don't have integrity in other areas. And to call you honey besides, to put you in your place.

Reply by jmgberry_IA on 1/15/08 8:55am
Msg #230640

Okay, for the rest of the story... I can only assume that the LO was going to notarize the documents, but since we did not get that far, it cannot be stated as fact. The LO, my mom, and myself were the only people there, so it could somewhat safely be assumed that she was going to notarize docs, or have someone else notarize them later. I did check the SOS website, and she is a notary. When we went back the second time to do this, there was an attorney there. The LO introduced all of us, and I (once again) will assume that he told her what I do because after the LO made introductions he made a very catty and rude comment about me being one of "those people who go around screwing up loans and making the work for attorneys and everyone else harder". I did not comment, there was no point, although I humbly admit that in my younger days, I would have surely opened my big mouth and it would have been a big mistake to do so. I had made the choice, before I ever walked in the credit union, that I would remain courteous and professional and help my mom in getting this done. I did however notice, that regardless that my mom had never met this attorney before, he never checked any identification (I guess he just took the LO word that she is who she claimed to be) nor did he administer any oath. I didn't say anything about it; I just put little checkmarks in my head. The loan did fund, and thankfully in the end my mom was able to get what she needed. They probably figured that since she has banked there forever, and they are all at least a step above acquaintances, it's all good. There were, I believe several things learned from this. I learned once again that, even when my blood might be almost boiling inside, remaining calm, professional, and as respectful as possible is always the best choice. We must pick our battles wisely. There are several attorneys in this area who have called on me through the years, I hope this guy never does, for I certainly wouldn’t want to show him up, or cause him more work. My mom learned that her friends at the credit union will try to cut corners, even if it is illegal. The LO will hopefully think twice about backdating, or other shortcuts next time, because you just never know!

Reply by Les_CO on 1/15/08 10:01am
Msg #230665

Glad it worked out. I applaud your composure.