Posted by HARRY_PA on 8/19/09 11:22am
Msg #300799

Goodbye Becca

I am surprised that there has been no mention or discussion of Becca's banishment from Notary Rotary. She has both friends and adversaries on this board and elsewhere. Does it give some pause in the way they express themselves here?

Harry

Reply by ZeeCA on 8/19/09 11:26am
Msg #300800

I responded to you in the contact button. I was shocked that she came on here not once but twice spewing so much anger and nastiness w/o first posting something resembling a nice/pleasant/professional request... but then consider the source, becca usually seems to come off that way.........and I have commented to a few friends it is unfortunate as she has a wealth of knowledge to share but scares everyone off that could have benefited from it

Reply by KODI/CA on 8/19/09 11:29am
Msg #300801

Hi Harry. I saw the banishment this morning and I think it is long overdue. You certainly have been patient. While you are at it, there are 4 or 5 others on this forum with the same type attitude and manner of communication. Please review them also. When someone asks a question of the forum and pleads "please don't hammer me", they are referring to those like Becca.

Reply by HARRY_PA on 8/19/09 11:33am
Msg #300803

You have me confused with Harry NR, the operator of the site. I am just another notary/signing agent. I have no stake in the discussion, only curiosity.

Harry_PA

Reply by ZeeCA on 8/19/09 11:44am
Msg #300806

oops sry.. just saw the Harry.. but the rest is true... n/m

Reply by Keystone_SA on 8/19/09 11:36am
Msg #300805

I agree and hopefully some of the other "nasties"

will get the picture and realize that a question is just a question. If someone sounds "stupid" or if the question "has been asked and answered several times", who cares. I, personally, have no tolerance for mean people.. not on a website and not in my personal life. I would like to think that if someone, whether it be a "newbie" or an "old pro" has a question, they can feel free to ask it on this site without worrying about beligerent and demeaning answers. IMHO

Reply by Jones - Chelley on 8/19/09 11:53am
Msg #300810

Re: I agree and hopefully some of the other "nasties"

The one thing you can always be sure of...if someone sounds nasty and abrasive when you read their comments...others are sharing the same opinion. More folks should make better choices when posting comments. A wise person can educate a fool as well as a scholar with a well-spoken and delivered message...and benefit is not found in a message that is meant to hurt or embarrass someone. Even in anger, have a mindful tongue...more is accomplished. If you want people to respect you...you must first respect yourself...and cheers to rotary notary for protecting us and our freedom to share.

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/19/09 12:00pm
Msg #300812

Censorship

In America - as elsewhere - free speech is confined to the dead.
Mark Twain

Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.
John Milton

All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions.
George Bernard Shaw

The problem of freedom in America is that of maintaining a competition of ideas, and you do not achieve that by silencing one brand of idea.
Max Lerner

It is our attitude toward free thought and free expression that will determine our fate. There must be no limit on the range of temperate discussion, no limits on thought. No subject must be taboo. No censor must preside at our assemblies.
William O. Douglas

Restriction on free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.
William O. Douglas

Reply by Philip Johnson on 8/19/09 12:13pm
Msg #300822

Ownership not censorship

I hold very libertarian views, one of those is the respect for personal property. Harry on this site or the owner of any site is not required to offer unbridled conversation,especially that which is cutting into his business.

I do find those that are chiming in for more "can't we all just get along" to be a bit trying. If you come on this site and ask a question that most deem elementary or stupid, you're going to get responses that are not going to be all happy.

Reply by jba/fl on 8/19/09 12:34pm
Msg #300829

Re: Ownership not censorship

"I do find those that are chiming in for more "can't we all just get along" to be a bit trying. "

No one gets along with everyone, so ditto that remark. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can`t please all the people all of the time! - sound familiar.? And some people just aren't going to like you because you wear crocs, part your hair in the middle, you're too serious, ad nauseaum.


"If you come on this site and ask a question that most deem elementary or stupid, you're going to get responses that are not going to be all happy."

Or, maybe, you won't get any answers. Maybe, for example, when someone asks about paper sales, which someone does almost every single day, there will be no response. Then, the poster will just have to do their own due diligence, either here or on the web, or just whine that no one helps, this is such an unfriendly site, etc..

Then there are the daily posts about printers - dare anyone respond: use the search button - the orange one?

Reading the "Rules & Guidelines" appears to sometime only apply to "the other person, not me". Well, what makes you so special?

Disclaimer: All of the above are general musings, except for quotes, that may or may not reflect the true opinion of the author. All are posted as rhetorical thoughts to share, or not, however your mood hits you, but in an attempt to cause someone to think, which is a very painful process. The final phrase is my true belief though.

Reply by Philip Johnson on 8/19/09 1:07pm
Msg #300847

"part your hair in the middle" or your scalp, whatever:)

My hair turned gray, then turned loose.

Reply by desktopfull on 8/19/09 8:32pm
Msg #300985

This pretty much covers why I don't post in the work section

anymore. Heaven forbid you tell a newbie that they need a business plan instead of giving them yours right along with your list of clients that they also requested.

Reply by desktopfull on 8/19/09 8:26pm
Msg #300984

Some just can't take hearing the truth and complain about

the statements being nasty.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 8/19/09 12:03pm
Msg #300813

Re: I agree and hopefully some of the other "nasties"

"if the question "has been asked and answered several times","

The reason this is said is simple....it HAS been asked over and over again....due diligence on the part of the poster prior to posting would lead them to (a) having the answers to their questions almost immediately; and (b) avoid the posting of "asked and answered..do a search"..

Most of what is asked here can be found with the orange search button...but how many have come here saying they can't find that button? Let me answer that...several have...and it's unnecessary...you found the "New Msg" button..it's right next to it.

I'm not condoning rude and vile posts...but I do support the statement that everyone should do their own homework first before posting. If you've done your own homework you'll get a lot more people willing to help those who have first tried to help themselves.

I honestly am not sure I agree with banning Becca over asking for a response. If her communications have gone unanswered, then I feel that's wrong and it's my feeling she deserved some kind of response from administration if nothing more than an acknowledgment of receipt of her complaint and they're looking into it. I'm not sure WHAT Notary Rotary could have done about it - I don't know copyright law....but I'm not sure I agree with banning her over her public request for a response. I realize other reasons were cited but why do something about those other reasons now and not when it happened. Just a thought.

I will tell you all this.....despite the delivery, which many found offensive (and I admit she set me back a pace or two at times)....we've all lost a tremendous source of information and knowledge. I'm hoping this is a knee-jerk reaction on administration's part and maybe they'll reconsider.

MHO to which I'm entitled.

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/19/09 12:08pm
Msg #300816

MHO to which I'm entitled

Personally Becca's (sometimes rough) delivery doesn't bother me a bit.
Give me an ugly truth over a painted misconception any day.

I am nonplussed at the public admonishment, and thought the administration went too far
in their resolution.

Reply by notaryinmo on 8/19/09 12:26pm
Msg #300823

Re: MHO to which I'm entitled

I agree Misty. Becca's knowledge will be sorely missed on here.

It's unfortunate that this has happened - but then again, the site does belong to Harry.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 8/19/09 12:41pm
Msg #300832

Re: MHO to which I'm entitled

Yes, Becca's posts can be "corrosive", but she does have a lot of experience she is willing to share - and she has a big heart - she was so willing to drive the 35 miles to help me when Bruce was in the hospital.
I don't think banning her was warranted, but it is Harry's board and his decision.

I, for one, will miss her input on the forum.

Reply by Vince/KS on 8/19/09 4:44pm
Msg #300917

Re: MHO to which I'm entitled

Sorry it came to this. The forum will certainly be a great deal blander without the color and her touch of “large grained” wit, humor and irreverent attitude.

Becca took a bite out of me following an early post. But, I read other things she wrote and decided to simply develop a thicker skin, at least where she is concerned, and attributed much of what she had to say to hers and other’s frustration of losing business to untrained competitors - most of them lacking her considerable knowledge, and perhaps having less social skills perhaps than she. Strong “A” type personalities can be tiresome - but, they do tend to get the job done (at least my wife tells me so). Harry has shown an incredible degree of patience in allowing those of us with something to say whatever we wish. He has, but only so long as it did not break the rules that he established and that he alone has responsibility to deal with.

Reply by Keystone_SA on 8/19/09 12:08pm
Msg #300817

Maybe some of those "asked and answered" questions

will get yet another opinion from someone who had not answered previously. Maybe the poster is looking for another insightful opinion or option. I've read some past posts and still have questions. Not every detail of a question posted has been answered already. Different perspectives come up. I'm sure all of us have seen a movie or read a book and then the second time around saw or read something we missed the first time. Just saying, IMHO, that posting the same question can always get a different response, additional response, or even more helpful response.

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/19/09 12:12pm
Msg #300820

posting the same question can always get a different respons

When I look for additional information, I often will email one or more of the posters for more information.
Not everyone comes on here everyday, and it seems to work for me, and no wasted bandwidth!

Reply by Larry/IL on 8/19/09 12:30pm
Msg #300825

Re: posting the same question can always get a different respons

I am sitting here reading some of these posts and find it very hard to believe that title companies would continue to use these people based on their tolerance and people skills, it's sad, pathetic and hysterical at times. I get the impression that some of these posters think they can walk on water. I'll wait and see how entertaining their replies will be because usually they can not help themslves.

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/19/09 12:56pm
Msg #300839

Re: posting the same question can always get a different respons

<<<I find it very hard to believe that title companies would continue to use these people>>>


You should work in a title office for about a month to learn about the tolerance levels of title officers.
You think Becca is brash? Try to have a disagreement with someone in a TC who knows what they are talking about. See how tolerant they are.

Reply by Kay/IL on 8/19/09 12:33pm
Msg #300826

Patience, Patience, Patience......

There are new people coming here all the time asking questions that have been asked a million times before. Perhaps they are experienced notaries who not familiar with the mechanisms of this site. Or they are new and just figure this would be the place to find some answers in the notary world. I mean, weren't we all new and starting out at one time whether as notaries, the Internet or on this board? Why can't others be given the same courtesy and respect?

I have no problem with persons who may be knew to this career or this site asking questions whether it's a one of a kind question or answered a million times before. I'll just skip over the question like I do a great many here on a daily basis. Plus, I agree with the poster who responded that another poster might have another perspective in response to a question. That's all good too.

What I have seen on other boards that's not here is a section for newbies (whether to this board or the profession). Perhaps that can be created to avoid the those who are tired of repeat questions and for those who do not mind them.

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/19/09 12:43pm
Msg #300833

weren't we all new and starting out at one time

Yes, but I think as independent contractors and business owners we should do our due diligence FIRST.
I'd guess most NSAs have at least completed high school, and know how to research for a report. Same here, same out in the business world.
In the real world, we don't get "hired" for a position, then go out looking to have someone else figure out how-to do the work.
When I have a query I research first, ask questions when I have enough information to form an intelligent question.
I see too many doing it backwards, and lack the motivation required to learn, operate and collect as a small business.
As far as courtesy and respect?
I think some posters who guise their lack or courtesy and respectfulness with flowers, kitties, puppies and butterflies are the worst offenders.
They should offer us the courtesy and respect of research before asking us to give them our client and marketing lists.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 8/19/09 2:55pm
Msg #300872

A BIG Amen to that!!!! n/m

Reply by Charles_Ca on 8/19/09 4:08pm
Msg #300905

Well said Misty, this supposed to be a forum of professional

caliber.

"I think some posters who guise their lack or courtesy and respectfulness with flowers, kitties, puppies and butterflies are the worst offenders"'

Couldn't agree more

Reply by Kay/IL on 8/20/09 9:28am
Msg #301047

Mistarella.....

1. What's wrong with opening a section for those new to the site and/or profession?

2. If the question has been asked and answered before, why not just skip over it and go your merry way to the next one instead of working your nervous system unnecessarily, and like you said, giving others an opportunity to ask questions without the fear of being "censored?"

3. Even when you come to a new job with "edjumacation and experience" there are still some things to learn about the company's policies, procedures and protocol. No one is born with all knowledge and doing things on automatic pilot including you.

Just some food for thought. Peace out!

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/20/09 10:11am
Msg #301053

Re: Mistarella.....

1. I never wrote that anything was wrong with opening a section for those new to the site and/or profession.

2. I never wrote one word about Q & A repeatedly. But do I need to? Read the R & G.
Do I get sick and tired of the same questions on every single page, or every couple of posts.
Yeah. Read the R & G. Censorship? Read the R & G.

3. I DID come to a new "job" with "edjumacation and experience" and I learned plenty about certain companies 3 P's. Without all knwoledge and doing things on automatic pilot. Back then my automatic pilot was RESEARCHING for the answer myself and asking pertinent or clarifying Q's.

Where are you getting your questions from?

Reply by Kay/IL on 8/20/09 12:14pm
Msg #301066

Re: Mistarella.....

My point is that you cannot have your cake and eat it too. You should not be crying censorship and at the same time want to censor others. And who's to determine whether one's question is pertinent or not? You? Last I remember, you do not own and administer this board.

I offered a suggestion about starting a section for newbies (for those who are tired of asked and answered questions). You initially had no comment on that but instead had other comments about my post. Where is the love sweetie?

You can research all you like, but sometimes the answer(s) you are seeking is not found and you have to "step out of your box" once in a while. And perhaps when you realized that you had to step out of your box and ask a question, did it ever occur to you that someone may have not have deemed your question as pertinent and instead thought it was so silly that they though you got your credentials from a bubble gum machine and made joke about it at the water cooler? That does happen even to the notary almighties. I mean, even Einstein flunked chemistry, Michael Jordan did not make his high school basketball squad but look at the legacies they left.

But if that's not the case, you go ahead with your bad self. Bet you can pull rabbits out of a hat too and turn water into wine at any given moment. You must be fierce as Tyra Banks would say.

Peace!

Reply by MistarellaFL on 8/20/09 1:04pm
Msg #301069

You must be fierce as Tyra Banks would say.

I am fierce.
You must be dumb as a box of rocks, as some might say.
Obviously you didn't "get it".
If you had ever read any of my posts, you would know that I have never written that after researching, unanswered queries should be posted.
But then again, you must skip over my posts, and for whateva reason, and just assume this is the way I feel about the subject.
You're wrong in your perception.
You write:
<<<You can research all you like, but sometimes the answer(s) you are seeking is not found and you have to "step out of your box" once in a while. And perhaps when you realized that you had to step out of your box and ask a question, did it ever occur to you that someone may have not have deemed your question as pertinent and instead thought it was so silly that they though you got your credentials from a bubble gum machine and made joke about it at the water cooler? That does happen even to the notary almighties. >>>
No, it never occurs to me that someone may not deem my question as pertinent, because I don't just ask "anyone, anything". I ask the appropriate party an appropriate question. I've never been blasted for asking a pertinent question.
BTW, my credentials came from an accredited college, not the same gumball machine from which some have obviously received theirs. I am beginning to think you are one of them.
And I never wrote or insinuated that *I* am THE notary almighty, but YOU just did.

<<<But if that's not the case, you go ahead with your bad self. Bet you can pull rabbits out of a hat too and turn water into wine at any given moment. You must be fierce as Tyra Banks would say. Peace!>>>

This is exactly the abhorring behavior I wrote about in the earlier post.
Your insults are covered in kitties, puppies, ponies and butterflies.
Thanks for enunciating it to the rest of the group, some who might not have "got it",
probably now do.

Reply by Kay/IL on 8/20/09 1:37pm
Msg #301079

Nah Sis.....You Don't Have What It Takes

I was being facetious. Obviously, you did not pick up on that. I mean, can you actually turn water into wine?

You still don't get it. While one person may consider your question pertinent, another may consider it stupid. It happens all the time honey...it's no big thing. You just wanted an answer. Besides, you do not know what a person is really thinking about you at any given given time. And I don't care whether you asked the CEO or the mail clerk.

And quit worrying about my "behavior" and worry about your own. and oh, God bless

Reply by jba/fl on 8/19/09 12:53pm
Msg #300836

For conciseness, Thanks, Renee: See msg #273946 n/m

Reply by SueW/Tn on 8/19/09 1:34pm
Msg #300856

Re: For conciseness, Thanks, Renee: See msg #273946

Boy Renee hit that little tiny nail right on the head didn't she?

For me I will truly miss Becca and I'm happy that I have her phone number on speed dial. She always made herself available to me and answered any question that I had without a second thought.

She's forgotten more than I'll ever know and now that banning is actually a part of the board I look for many more to follow the same path...that would only be the fair and democratic way to do things. Some of Becca's replies may have been strongly worded but they left little to doubt with regards to the answer.

Reply by JanetLA on 8/19/09 2:29pm
Msg #300866

Becca has never been rude to me. Louisiana is different

but I do have questions about signings and mortgages from time to time. I have no input regarding whether or not she should be banned. Not my call, but I do think people are different and when a person types things it may be perceived as rude and in person they might be sweet as pie... People must remember that typed words are subject to a persons perspective, both the author and the reader. I was never offended by her or her responses. That is just MHO.

Reply by John/CT on 8/19/09 2:44pm
Msg #300870

Likewise, Janet n/m

Reply by Charles_Ca on 8/19/09 4:14pm
Msg #300907

I'm sure tis business and not personal

Becca and I have always gotten along well on the forum and off ande i consider her a friend, we even exchange Facebook together. That Becca was abrasive is not in question and I'm sure Harry's decision was based weighing the issues and his decision was strictly business: mine would have been. I doubt anyone runs a website such as this as a hobby. I've known Harry for a while and his business comes first: it should! I've also known Harry to be very fair.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 8/19/09 4:58pm
Msg #300921

Re: I'm sure tis business and not personal

I am sure it was a business decision too. Harry has always been fair.
There may have been other factors in his decision, other than the posts on the board.
I really can't see Harry banning anyone just for posting on the board that he didn't answer an e-mail (or contact message). There are always two sides.
As I said, I will miss Becca on the board, she has always proven to be a true friend to me, and I won't lose contact with her off the forum.

Reply by John/CT on 8/19/09 2:42pm
Msg #300869

Thank you for your "Goodbye Becca"

I would have missed it ... Harry's post being buried three pages back. Yes, I like many others, will surely miss Becca's wisdom; I hope she'll come back this thread to see how many friends she really had ... notwithstanding the circumstances of her "banishment". Best wishes, and good luck, Becca!

Reply by BrendaTx on 8/19/09 3:00pm
Msg #300877

John/CT, you are a sweetheart...I'm sure Becca will

especially appreciate your post. I would if it were me.

I will miss her. I am very sorry to see her removed from the forum's membership. I wholly agree with Sylvia.

I cannot help but wonder if she ever got a warning about the things that caused her dismissal. Not that it *had* to be given but I can't help but be curious about it. The outcome might have been a lot different for the forum, Becca's membership, etc.

Reply by Claudine Osborne on 8/19/09 3:07pm
Msg #300878

I'm sure Becca will

Becca, Your input will be missed, but not your darker side..Good luck! back..

Reply by MW/VA on 8/19/09 4:22pm
Msg #300910

I think there's an important reminder in this situation for all of us. Being a paying member doesn't buy us the right to try to run the show, say whatever we want to whomever we want, and belittle the owner to try to get a response. It was a "be careful what you wish for" scenario, and she got Harry to respond.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 8/19/09 5:14pm
Msg #300929

Yes, we need to be careful, but...

I think you have a good point, but I think there are other things to be careful of, as well. Like not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I, too, will count myself with those who will miss her... well, many of her posts, anyway. But I think we need to be very, very careful about pushing this type of action further in an attempt to "clean up" this board.

I used to frequent several other message boards, too, but I usually found so much nonsense and bad information, with the blind leading the blind, that I didn't know where to begin. My eyes would just roll back in my head and I'd be gone from there for another good long time, until this has become pretty much the only board I come to with any regularity. That's because there are still several people who come here frequently from whom I can learn. Those who are busiest are apt to just whip out a response in a hurry without taking a great deal of time to worry about making it sweet and polite. Those are the people that I want to hear from!

So I'd like to put out a huge warning to anyone who feels like they want to use the "Report" button against someone whose tone they don't like or who writes with an occasional nasty edge - or who just rubs them the wrong way. PLEASE DON'T DO IT!! I'm glad to see the addition of the "Report" button, but I feel it should only be used for new posters (probably non-paying members) who are probably only interested in creating a ruckus, i.e. trolls (or "momo's"... ) I would be very disappointed and upset if relative newbies caused any other oldtimers to be kicked off this board because they weren't "nice"enough.

As for Becca, I have to admit that I was a little surprised at the way she addressed her posts to Harry, since this IS his property. I didn't see her earlier correspondence, of course, but if it were me, I'd start out with a different tone when going public. I think her biggest mistake was in biting the hand that fed her. I have no doubt, though, that she will be fine without us. I suspect, as well, that we will collectively be worse off for her absence.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 4:34pm
Msg #300915

Kudos to the owner for banning Becca.

He is right that some people do not have a favorable impression of Notary Rotary because of the tone of the boards, which is a real shame. There is so much information, knowledge, and experience available at NR.

There is never any excuse to speak to people the way this woman does. Hopefully this event will prompt her to seek the professional help she so obviously needs.

I also hope that this event will deter others from bullying and insulting other posters on the boards.

Reply by JanetLA on 8/19/09 4:52pm
Msg #300920

CinOh-With all due respect and in a very civil tone...

I don't get it. Why is it acceptable for you to speak about someone this way but yet say it is wrong for others? I am not taking sides with any issue you and Becca might have had, but it seems to me that your post is a bit strong. She is gone, so why make the remark "Hopefully this event will prompt her to seek the professional help she so obviously needs." That did not seem polite or necessary...

Reply by BrendaTx on 8/19/09 5:00pm
Msg #300922

Janet, you are absolutely right.

People fuss about others being "mean" and then say something like this, which, by standards in Central, Texas is pretty caustic.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 5:12pm
Msg #300927

Re: CinOh-With all due respect and in a very civil tone...

Becca is rude, nasty, angry, hostile, and abusive. Period. You, and her other friends, can sugar coat her behavior and call it "blunt," or whatever you like but it is what it is.

People who snap at, insult, and are verbally abusive to others, without provocation are in need of professional help. Only people with emotional issues behave this way.

Why make my remark? The original poster asked people what they thought. Those are my thoughts. It's ironic that you seem to think it's okay for her to trash people, yet no one can say what they think about her? I think she's a sick person and needs help. That's my opinion based on her own behavior on this website.

Reply by JanetLA on 8/19/09 5:14pm
Msg #300928

To clarify: I have never met Becca, nor have I ever spoken

to her. I just think name calling goes both ways. Sorry if you are offended.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 5:19pm
Msg #300932

Re: To clarify: I have never met Becca, nor have I ever spoken

I've never met or "spoken" to her either. I have witnessed her act out on these boards. I'm not in the least bit offended by your comments and apologize to you if you are offended by mine. I genuinely think this lady needs help and I hope she gets it. Anyone who behaves the way she has on an internet message board needs help, IMO. I'm sorry if that upsets you. Have a nice day.

Reply by John/CT on 8/19/09 5:32pm
Msg #300939

On the other hand, CinOH ...

there are those of us who would rather focus on Becca's positive contributions and discourse, albeit at a price to the feelings of some of the others. Over the years, as I recall, I have been the target of her "sharp" response on an occasion or two ... and looking back, rightly so. And, BTW, CinOH, even tho I don't know Becca personally, I have to doubt that "her own behavior" on this Board indicates "she's a sick person and needs help." I'm simply not trained in the behavioral sciences to draw that conclusion ... which, in my estimation might even be considered libelous. I'm sure those who do know Becca personally (e.g., Sylvia, et al.) would most likely agree.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 5:46pm
Msg #300946

Re: On the other hand, CinOH ...

John,
In my estimation your calling my opinion of Becca's outlandish behavior "libelous" is humorous. Her own behavior here are evidence that she has issues with people. If that bother's you or any of her other friends, I'm sorry. It's so interesting that so many of you folks are rushing to defend the indefensible behavior Becca has displayed on this site for so long. I even saw one post intimating that the management may somehow be at fault for not warningn her! That is absurd. She is a victim of her own behavior. No one seems to have any regard for the people she has attacked and abused, yet she's now somehow a victim. She's a victim of her own behavior. I hope this incident promts her to take a good look at herself and seek help. If you disagree, so be it.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 8/19/09 5:37pm
Msg #300942

Re: CinOh-With all due respect and in a very civil tone...

"It's ironic that you seem to think it's okay for her to trash people"

I haven't read a single post that has said that. What people *have* spoken about are the other positive contributions Becca has made to this forum. I agree with those who find your post just a tad hypocritical. I also find it ironic that you've chosen to post about this subject, when I don't recall seeing other contributing posts from you. Maybe I've just missed them? I admit that I don't read everything.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 5:51pm
Msg #300950

Re: CinOh-With all due respect and in a very civil tone...

That's exactly what many of you are saying, yet you're calling me a hypocrite? That's rich. You people are making silly excuses blaming the "newbies" for asking questions that have already been answered and even saying that maybe if management had warned her. That is all very ridiculous. Is there some posting quota here that I'm not aware of? What does the number of times I've posted or how many of them you've read have to do with anything?

Reply by jba/fl on 8/19/09 6:01pm
Msg #300954

You are sounding a bit shrill here, and you are

out of line.

This is kind of a wake today; a memoriam to a past contributor no longer in our midst. You are among those speaking ill of the dead (figuratively). I can imagine you at your mother-in- laws funeral...

Now, if Becca were here, I wouldn't bother to defend her as she is more than capable of erasing you from the page.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 7:58pm
Msg #300978

Re: You are sounding a bit shrill here, and you are

Erase me from the page? How childish. No, I don't think so. What she did was finally erase herself from the page. My mother-in-laws funeral?? I love my mother-in-law. She's a great lady. I hope she lives forever. My mother-in-law has nothing to do with this. Why bring her into it?

You people like to dish it, but you can't take it. I've seen your gang run quite a few people off this site, as the owner has attested to. I won't be one of them. I post what I want, when I want. He called Becca out, but quite a few more of you need to be sent packing as well. You seem to think you have the right to push other posters around when you don't like what they say. You don't.

You won't try to defend her? You just did.

Reply by jba/fl on 8/19/09 11:27pm
Msg #301026

Now you are sounding like Becca on a bad day n/m

Reply by JanetK_CA on 8/19/09 9:31pm
Msg #301019

Re: CinOh-With all due respect and in a very civil tone...

I think there is a big difference between condemning behavior and condemning a person. Most - if not all - of the positive comments I've read have defended Becca as a person, while not condoning her behavior or her style of commenting on this board. But you've chosen to make your comments about her highly personal, even though (my point) you are a fairly (or very?) recent addition to this community, and even though the topic of discussion here is about what appears to be a done deal.

Credibility is developed over time and many of "us people" have been coming to this board and posting here for literally many years. Over time, we get to "know" each other in a way unique to cyber-space. I was simply observing that you've chosen this particular subject and thread to make yourself known, and so far I'm not gettin' a great first impression!

You made a statement that apparently several people took issue with and called you out on. It's happened to most of us at some time or other. Now it's time to let it go, unless you want to be thought of as a troll. And I mean that in the nicest and most sincere possible...

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 8/19/09 6:26pm
Msg #300959

"Hopefully this event will prompt her to seek the professional help she so obviously needs."

Having known Becca for several years - both on and off the notary forums", I can say with conviction she does not need to seek "professional help"

Sure, she can be "caustic" at times, but so are others on this forum. By your "standards" a lot of the members need "professional help"

Your remark was totally uncalled for. No wonder you don't link your post to your profile.

Reply by CinOH on 8/19/09 8:03pm
Msg #300980

"Caustic?" Try nasty. Try bitter. Try hostile. Try abusive. For no reason. My remark was totally called for. I stand by what I said: she should seek help. Don't worry about my profile. Just worry about yours, thank you.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 8/19/09 8:34pm
Msg #300989

Don't have to worry about my profile. I have nothing to hide, I post under my name and link to my profile, as I have done ever since becoming a member when Harry started Notary Rotary.

Reply by MichiganAl on 8/20/09 2:10am
Msg #301033

You stand by what you said?

How do stand by what you said when you're anonymous? You don't stand by anything when you cower in the shadows hurling insults and passing judgment. For better or worse, at least Becca has always stood behind her own words. She's already better than you, thank you.

Reply by desktopfull on 8/19/09 8:57pm
Msg #301001

Your advocating only PC responses allowed.

Sorry, but this would truly be a dull world if we all had to behave like Pollyanna's. I will miss Becca's responses, advice, and her willingness to benefit others. She worked her rear off to help set up shelters for the pets that were abandoned by homeowner's that were foreclosed on and just dumped their pets on the street. I see, however, that you don't mind posting your own caustic, nasty remarks about members. You've written on of the best examples of hypocrisy I've read on the forum, congratulations.

Reply by Susan Fischer on 8/19/09 5:38pm
Msg #300943

I've been on this site for a long time, and have watched many posters come and go. I've read many, many posts that have absolutely stunned my sensibilities, and, truth be told, made me ashamed to be associated with a such a vitriolic pack mentality.

On the other hand, and for the sharky exceptions, the vast wealth of information so freely shared by extremely knowledgeable and experienced folks is exceptional, and a tribute to the fraternity of notaries public in our field.

And I find myself returning to my childhood lessons of manners; just as in speech, there is a ~tone~ to the written word. A Voice. We all might do well to 'watch our tone of word,' our literary voices, because we only have the words - no facial expressions, tones of voice, body language, or eye-to-eye contacts in our written conversations. And if we are misinterpreted? It's always nice to hear a clarification.

It's so natural to get frustrated with the same old questions requiring the same old answers (or not), and likewise, it's so normal (and desirable) to have newbies, which, we all were in our individual beginnings. NR has been a place where so many have grown into their own over time, and at the same time, a place where many have been 'run out of town' at their first tip-toe into the shark tank. (Pardon my mixed metaphores, and, I'm not implying Becca was the lone shark here.)

I don't have any answers, but I do believe the decision reached by Harry was not an easy one, and certainly not taken lightly. I too will miss Becca's important contributions, but not her frequent unpleasantness. It's hard to listen to a mean, shrill voice, despite the value of the message.

Reply by John Schenk on 8/19/09 6:49pm
Msg #300964

Hasta la vista, Becca..

I'll miss the warm conversations we shared. lol

One doesn't repeatedly pull on Superman's cape, in a public forum, and expect there to not be repercussions, unless you have kryptonite in your pocket...which I think fell out of her pocket after her first public post to Harry on the subject got deleted. Then, tuggin on the cape in a new thread, without the magic rock, just wasn't a good idea. Harry's the man, his board, and I respect his decision.

To me, Becca was kind of like going to a good doctor that simply has poor bedside manner. She knew her stuff, and that was a good thing.

I wish her well, and we'll probably cross paths again one day. I have no doubt she will miss me, and I will also miss her knowledgeable posts. Best wishes, Becca!

JJ

Reply by MichiganAl on 8/19/09 6:24pm
Msg #300958

This could have been avoided

Unfortunately, both parties reacted emotionally. Becca, rightfully upset that someone had stolen her words and hard work (and I've been there, it's infuriating) asking for help and not getting a response, and Harry, rightfully upset at being strongly called out on his own board. Either could have stepped back and reacted with their heads.

That said, I think Becca has been invaluable here. I for one appreciate her bluntness far more than the flowery "I'm okay, you're okay" crap that gets passed off as good advice. Even in this thread, there are those that wrap their insults in pretty little tones and think that makes them the better person. Becca never wastes her time with false pretenses and she can smell b.s. a mile away. I respect that a lot more than fake sweetness. I promise you that Becca's directness and honesty has saved hundreds of people in this industry from making terrible and avoidable mistakes, whether they want to admit it or not.

Harry, you say that people have dropped their membership because of her. I say that one of the main reasons that this forum still thrives while others have gone virtually silent is because you've allowed an honest, vigorous, sometimes harsh dialog to occur. If you're going to criticize her for the accounts you say you've lost, then let's also acknowledge that she's contributed to making this a lively and interesting place to be. As a businessman, I'm sure you reaped many financial benefits (traffic, new accounts) from the sometimes passionate discussions that have occurred here, some of which can be directly attributed to Becca and her, um, unique communication skills. Let's be honest, drama sells.

Reply by Beverly Nichols on 8/19/09 9:10pm
Msg #301010

Re: This could have been avoided

Your so right Alex. Becca has had her moments. I have had to read twice because I couldn't believe my eyes.

The thing is when it comes to Notary rules, laws and procedures for Florida she knows her stuff!

When I was one of those "newbies" in 2005 and was being jerked around by a SS she was the one I called (on a Friday night about 11 pm her time) she answered the phone, answered my questions, and calmed my nerves. This was the first time we ever spoke. She has been a good friend and someone I have enjoyed working with on the Florida NSA Network.

I will miss her on this forum but the time has come to call it a day. The things that were being complained about in 05 are still problems. They aren't changing after all these years, so when you get the same results by doing the same thing why should they?

Harry you have always been fair with me. I wish it didn't come to this.

B.

Reply by Pat/IL on 8/20/09 1:24am
Msg #301032

I agree with Al & those who have responded likewise.

And I will miss Becca, too. It will be like 'Cheers' without Carla around here.

Reply by desktopfull on 8/19/09 8:34pm
Msg #300988

Until I read this I wasn't aware of Becca's

banishment, I'll have to backtrack and see what everyone is talking about.

Reply by John Schenk on 8/19/09 8:50pm
Msg #300995

FYI...here's the banning post by Harry..

Re: Problem w/ Harry & NotRot in need of member support
Posted by Harry [NR] of IA on 8/19/09 12:00am Msg #300731
Becca, you are entirely right, our members deserve more respect. Your Notary Rotary account is hereby terminated.

Throughout the many years you have been a "paying" member, you have generally been absolutely vile. We have record of more than 20 paying customers who have left the Notary Rotary community due specifically to your lack of professionalism, disrespect, and incessant attacks. Some of the complaints we've received regarding your behavior have been well-written, thoughtful accounts detailing a shameless history of nastiness; others have been less tactful in-kind commentary colored with lovely adjectives on-par with some of your most pointed forum insults.

To date, I have been willing to tolerate your extreme lack of professionalism, disdain and disrespect for your peers, and chronically distasteful behavior because of my belief that everyone is entitled to their opinions. This position has come at a price. In addition to the countless members you have single-handedly driven away in what some interpret to be a deliberate and malicious attempt to poison our community, I have been at odds with our own staff over whether to allow your "corrosive personality" (in their words) to remain a fixture of our on-line existence.

I'm done. You are no longer welcome here. You evidently were not insightful enough to interpret my silent response to your "copyright infringement" demands for what it was: an acknowledgement of your hypocrisy and cowardice in the face of an issue that is squarely your own. You belittle our members, damage our business, and then come crying to me over what you perceive to be some injustice rather than "manning-up" and taking care of it yourself.

Like Charles very astutely pointed out, it is not our place to resolve your copyright issues. I am not in a position to determine what was copied from where, from whom, at what time, who had what first and in what form, nor whether copyright law even applies. My position should have been self-evident, even to the purely self-interested, and, if not clear at first, should have crystallized after your initial volley of insults.

So, I leave you to your notary network and the third-party sites you've been plugging. Based on your testimony, it sounds as though you'll do quite well without us. Although we do not offer membership refunds due to the nature of our benefits, I will make an exception in your case and will refund the full $59 you paid for your current 1-year membership. The refund will be made using PayPal. Please use the Contact Us form to let us know where you would like that refund directed.

Harry

Reply by HARRY_PA on 8/20/09 7:25am
Msg #301037

Goodbye Becca

Thanks to all that responded to my post. Not only did it share what so many of you feel about Becca but also, for good or bad, what it revealed about yourselves. If you have the time, reread all of the responses. Thanks again.

Harry

Reply by BrendaTx on 8/20/09 9:13am
Msg #301044

Re: Goodbye Becca --> Harry PA is so right.

The posts for and against [__fill in the blank__] tell a great deal about each poster in this thread.

So does the other thread where Harry [NR] posted.

You can see where posters are thoughtful, objective, subjective, thin-skinned, thick-skinned, comfortfortable with themselves, uncomfortable with anything about themselves...delighting in someone else's drama/trouble more than they care to admit and so forth.

Great study, Harry PA...thanks for referring me back to reading the thread again!

Reply by jba/fl on 8/20/09 11:30am
Msg #301061

Re: Goodbye Becca --> Harry PA is so right.

I also took the challenge to re-read, then spent much of the morning writing an essay disecting, analyzing, and kicking it ariound. On paper works well for me. I don't know how it will type out, but I've 10 legal pages written and I'm definately not done.

This has been a very profound experience for me, hitting my belief system where it really matters. I keep coming to censorship and freedom; this forum is but a microcosm of the United States of America.

Sadly, 'nuff said for now.