Posted by Jessc098 on 2/19/09 10:14pm
Msg #278143

Professional courtsey?

I only started working as a signing agent last year. Most of my prior notary experience was in adoption and contracts and construction documents.

My issue is perhaps cultural (I'm accustomed to working with lawyers, and lobbyists) what's with the reps from the signing agencies and closing companies and all the pet names?

I think I'll barf if anyone calls me "sweetie" again today. (In defense of men, it's only women calling me this). I just don't understand it. I can't comprehend a professional setting where it is appropriate to call anyone over the age of FIVE "sweetie" or "honey" or "darling." (With a possible exception for IHOP waitresses).

Is it just me? I don't understand what prompts it--if it's universal treatment of everyone like that or if it's just me (to be honest, I'm rather a "straight to business" kind of person and don't spend much time on pleasantries, so not normaly dubbed a 'sweetie" but I'm not gruff either).

Anyone else experincing similar? If so, how do you handle this? Put up and shut up or do you say something? "Uh, its Jessica thanks, Sweetie is my daughter."

Thoughts, ideas, comments, rants?

Thanks for tolerating me.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/19/09 10:22pm
Msg #278144

Pshaw....if they're giving me work, meeting or exceeding my fee and paying on time, they can call me anything they want as long as they don't call me too late for the signing...

Reply by Rhonda Skansi on 2/20/09 12:03am
Msg #278152

I agree with Linda. I see it as a term of endearment (sp?) and have been called that so often, I think I might start feeling old when it stops. It doesn't bother me. When I get stiffed on my signings from deadbeat signing services, thats when I start getting mad.

Reply by Teddog/CO on 2/20/09 4:53am
Msg #278161

Lol Linda How very true "call me anything, just don't call me too late" Out West it ranges from dear, sweetheart, honey and my big fav "Sis." We'll have to admit it we've been called a lot worse.

Happy signings to everyone

Reply by Cari on 2/20/09 11:04am
Msg #278198

I'm with you Linda H/Fl! n/m

Reply by Mamie on 2/20/09 8:01pm
Msg #278295

Re: I'm with you Linda H/Fl!

I'm getting up there in years and have always had a tough time remembering names, but now becausse of my age, I figure I can get away with using terms such as 'dear' and 'hon'.

Reply by AngelTX on 2/19/09 10:29pm
Msg #278145

I dont see where that would be a problem, some people are just nice and that is how they speak, as for being in the legal field, i was there for over 20 years as a legal secretary/paralegal, and this never seemed to be a put down, maybe it is because of the part of the country you are from, maybe the people there are just not friendly? Who knows,

Reply by Colleen Heaton on 2/19/09 10:35pm
Msg #278146

Well, that's a new one on me. I've been doing this for over six years, and don't believe anyone has ever addressed me by one of those overly familiar names. Sounds like sexual harrassment to me.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/19/09 10:47pm
Msg #278149

I've had it happen several times...

it wasn't offensive and it certainly didn't come close to sexual harassment...good grief!

Reply by Dorothy_MI on 2/19/09 10:53pm
Msg #278150

If you think that is sexual harassment

you've never experienced sexual harassment. And I'm certainly not worried about what someone says to me over the phone half a continent away. Like several of the others, just pay me fair and fast and you can call most anything you want.

And yes, I have experienced sexual harassment and "sweetie" or "honey" doesn't come even close. Agreed it's not very professional, but certainly not worth making a stink about.

Reply by Dorothy_MI on 2/19/09 10:54pm
Msg #278151

Not meant for you Linda, posted wrong place. n/m

Reply by Pat/IL on 2/20/09 12:36am
Msg #278153

Don't sweat the small stuff, Toots. n/m

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/20/09 4:30am
Msg #278158

Toots! That's the one I really don't like.

It depends on how people honey me. Or baby me. The voice tone and situation has a lot to do with it.

Reply by EastTxNotary on 2/20/09 6:28am
Msg #278164

Re: Toots! That's the one I really don't like.

Sweetie...with sarcasm...that's the one that always got me in my younger days.

I have a girlfriend that called all her men friends "baby". When I asked her why...she just said with a big old grin "That way, I don't ever call them by the wrong name at the wrong time".

I was taught "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and still do it to this day whether the person I'm speaking to is younger or older, when I'm in a business conversation. In a more relaxed business situation...a "hon" has been known to escape my lips.

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/20/09 7:08am
Msg #278165

Dot, I've been "hon"ed by you I think and it was nice. BUT

there was a notary I used to talk to on the phone and the only time she "Sweetie"ed me was when she was in her I'm-smarter-than-everyone moments. It was pure unintentional condescension. Unintentional being the disturbing key word.

She didn't mean to "sound" that way but it oozed out of her that she was a person who really was buffaloed into thinking she was smarter than the rest of the world. I felt compassion for her because humility wasn't in her skill set. Humility is something no one should be without. We all suffer from not having enough of it at times but it is a quality to strive for.

Dot is a nice "hon"-er. It's pure southern with her. Texas style.

Reply by jba/fl on 2/20/09 4:37am
Msg #278159

Haven't heard this one in long time -

Certainly not sexual harassment, any of the mentioned terms. I don't care for it either, but just go with the flow. Just pay me, call me, call me again, Sugar Pie, Babe, Hon.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/20/09 9:34am
Msg #278176

Didn't take it that way SweetPea...it's okay..<G>

Been Ma'am'd, hon'd, dolled, sweetie, girlfriend....lost track of them all - never ever been offended by them - in fact I think they were great in lightening the conversation!!

Must admit - haven't been "tootsed" yet - now I feel left out...<G>

Reply by MistarellaFL on 2/20/09 10:09am
Msg #278184

Jus' call me Sugar-britches

And hand over the check.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/20/09 10:14am
Msg #278186

LOL....love it!! n/m

Reply by DebraH on 2/20/09 2:13am
Msg #278155

If anyone thinks calling someone sweetie is appropriate business behavior they have their head in the sand.
I correct callers - and they still call and pay me my fee. Respect is what it is called. I wish there was a lot more of that on this site.

Reply by Susan Fischer on 2/20/09 2:18am
Msg #278156

Thanks for the heads up, honey bunny. :) Seriously, it's a

cultural thing in many parts of the country. I don't find it the least condescending or offensive - most of the time.

My mother used to say, "Don't use that tone with me, young lady..." Well, she had me there.

It's more a tone of voice for me. I can hear condescention; scorn; derision, sarcasm. The words could be anything.

Also, I'm gregarious. 'Your borrowers are my neighbors' is my motto. And in my neck of the ocean, it's fairly literally true.

If a 'sweetie peetie' or a 'darlin'' bothers you, my advice is to lighten up. It's a 'people' business. From the casual coast to a city slicker back East. From the rugged Northwest to the Old South. It's people all across this land. With all that's going on, and all that's stressful, a little humanity goes a long way.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/20/09 4:44am
Msg #278160

Re: Thanks for the heads up, honey bunny. :) Seriously, it's a

Yes, it's definitely a regional thing - and a personality thing, imo. Back when I was in my early 30's, working in a pin-striped, buttoned-down, financial district, mostly male environment, it used to bother me a lot. I found it condescending (even from the waitresses at IHOP... ) But I looked way younger than I was (if only that were still as true!) and was trying to be taken seriously in the business world. A lot has changed since then; I'm self-employed and I don't care nearly as much - but it does still grate on my nerves a tad. These days, I tend to be pretty informal and friendly, but try to still show a little respect for people. When a total stranger uses a term of endearment, I personally don't find it very respectful. And I'm sure there are still some folks out there who will find it offensive.

Reply by Teddog/CO on 2/20/09 4:56am
Msg #278162

Honey bunny, I love it ! :) n/m

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/20/09 9:37am
Msg #278177

Hear Hear Susan...especially the "lighten up" part... n/m

Reply by Lee/AR on 2/20/09 7:36am
Msg #278168

Re: Professional courtsey? My take on this...

They've just called 6 other notaries, 1 had a conflicting appt. and they wouldn't meet the 2nd one's fee. 4 didn't answer. By this time, they are dialing 'the next number' hoping to get someone who answers and are not paying attention to names because they're already looking up 'the next number'. Bang! Somebody answers! Uh... Hi Sweetie~~

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/22/09 5:28pm
Msg #278435

Love it!...

That perspective makes keeping my thoughts to myself and smiling back that much easier! [Even if I'm not thrilled about it, I don't want to let them know that!]

Reply by sue_pa on 2/20/09 7:40am
Msg #278169

MANY of the older attorney's in my area still will call you "my girl" as in ... "My girl will get your coffee for you".

I was at a real estate closing a few years ago and a man up in his 70s (I've known him for 25 years) said something many would consider out of line. My lawyer popped his head up, his eyes were huge when he looked at me, I laughed and said, "that's just how he is". Moment was over and the guy really didn't know he had done anything wrong ... in his eyes he was paying me a compliment.

I never would make an issue if someone is being themselves .... even if they aren't pc.

Reply by 101livescan on 2/20/09 10:43am
Msg #278193

If someone wants to call me honey, hon, sweetie, cupcake, darlin (I'm in the middle of cow country and rodeo's are more common here than the Met), I don't care. Hey, a year of stalled work assignments has humbled me beyond recognition, I don't care what they call me, as long as I get paid! I can think of worse work! I've actually been treated with less respect working for real estate lawyers and loan officers!

Earlier in my career, I worked as a cocktail waitress in a very classy joint at the Harbor, carrying trays of drinks that I often wanted to just dump in customer's laps. Man oh man, do I know about harrassment! Notary work is great, no one has crossed any boundaries with me as long as I've been a notary, especially in loan signings.

Reply by RickG/CA on 2/20/09 11:48am
Msg #278212

Call me what you will...Just

leave the rear slappin' out. That's where I draw the line. Just not enough dough on the confirmation!!!

Reply by Philip Johnson on 2/20/09 12:24pm
Msg #278218

Come on Rick, walk on the wild side. n/m

Reply by RickG/CA on 2/20/09 12:43pm
Msg #278221

I'll have to see if I can get that approved. n/m