Posted by Shelley Pahn on 7/15/09 3:03pm
Msg #295991

mean borrower

I have been closing loans for 7.9 years. only 4 borrower were angry.
i had one on Friday that made me want to quit.
if fact it made me sick i was so upset.
i am 54 the borrower 30 ish
very wealthy he told me.
settlement statement wrong he got mad and when i asked if was married
(title aff,) he went nuts. it took me 3 days to get over .
u never expect this in memphis we r 2 friendly or so i have
been told. he made it point to tell me how much the loan
was for. i have done bigger amounts and it doent matter to me.

Reply by Christine Hall on 7/15/09 3:37pm
Msg #295994

Should have told him if he is so "wealthy" then why does he need a "loan"

Reply by MW/VA on 7/15/09 4:17pm
Msg #295999

As they say, hindsight is 20/20. We don't need to tolerate abusive behavior, and can walk out of a closing like that.

Reply by Hugh Nations Signing Agents of Austin on 7/15/09 4:20pm
Msg #296001

I actually did walk out of a closing two weeks ago.

The borrower told me I was a smart a$$.

I told him that if he was going to insist on telling the truth about me, I was leaving -- and I did.

Reply by notaryinmo on 7/15/09 4:38pm
Msg #296003

Shelley. Sorry you were abused by this borrower. If he told you the settlement statement was wrong, he should have taken his anger out on his LO, not you. You were probably so startled/taken aback that you didn't even think about calling your SS/TC and told them what was happening.

If you haven't already, I would call the SS/TC and let them know what happened. That way too, if he exercises his RTC, you should insist on full payment if that wasn't already discussed. There's really no reason you should have to deal with emotional distress.

Reply by Jim/AL on 7/15/09 6:49pm
Msg #296021

agree with notaryinmo. Always call TC/SS so they do not come

back and try to blame you for his ignorance. Sorry you had such a bad situation, but do not let one idiot ruin you or your day.

Reply by Joan_OH on 7/15/09 9:28pm
Msg #296043

I've been closing 6+ years full time, 5200 closings. The only mean borrower I ever had was another Courtesy Closer and she wasn't even the buyer, but the buyer's sister brought along for who know's what reason. She was an absolute BULL DOG who kept anouncing SHE does this for a living and telling me how to do my job. In hindsight, I should have walked out. Instead, I yelled at the RE Agent "If he didn't get his #$#% in this chair right now.....!" He kept leaving the room and everytime he did, she escalated. I was stuck in the corner and couldn't escape.

Next day, I found all the issues this witch had were caused by the agent NOT doing his job, not sending contract addendums in and telling the title company to let it go without informing the buyers he told them to do this. It didn't help that it was a 7pm closing. Could have done it without the witch at the table and it would have been the same result without all the stress.

It took me a week to get over it and gain my confidence back and I've done 5000 purchase transactions. Take a deep breath, get a massage, take a long bath, let it go. Some people are just PITA's.

Joan-OH

Reply by CinOH on 7/16/09 10:58am
Msg #296078

Sorry you had such a bad exprience. My policy is to walk out on abusive situations like that. He sounds like an unstable jerk. Never know what people are capable of.

I've only had to walk out of one signing in over 5 years, but I won't hesitate to do it again if the situation gets out of control. Just call the signing/title company from the car and let them know.

We have to have a thick skin to do this job, but you should not put up with abuse to do your job.

Reply by Shelley Pahn on 7/16/09 11:23am
Msg #296080

Re: mean borrower thanks yall

i did talk to title they believed
his side of it
it was a second home,
borrower big shot at fed ex
but i know people who work
in that bldg. the unmarked headquarters, they said write to fed ex founder
i am working on this now
fred smith will read it
this guy was doing his refi
at work. fed ex did not get so
big with this guy
talking to the public. still i hate taking my time energy

Reply by MW/VA on 7/16/09 11:51am
Msg #296083

Re: mean borrower thanks yall

Having money (or not having it) is no excuse for bad behavior. It sounds like he was very intimidating.
I provide the same service to all clients--rich or poor. I had a signing the other week for a young man
(young to me--40ish) who was refi''ng an investment property. I don't often have the time to look into such things, but I had noticed on the 1003 that he made $400/k + a year. I can tell you that he was extremely well-mannered & great to work with. He had even commented that he could have set his watch by my arrival time (12:00 Noon--on the nose). Rudeness is becoming all too common in the world we live in. I hate it & don't tolerate it.

Reply by Pat/IL on 7/16/09 12:49pm
Msg #296089

I wouldn't do that if I were you

Shelley, I am sorry for you, just like the others here on this board, that your borrower treated you rudely. The best advice given to you here has been to shake it off.

By approaching people in his office building, and writing to the founder of his company, you lead me to believe that you are obsessing over the incident and that you are seeking revenge. Leaving the signing is a perfectly legitimate act if you are in an abusive or dangerous situation. Getting involved in the borrower's personal or professional life in a negative way, as you seem to now be doing, is not such a good idea.

The only likely outcome that I can think of is that you will be blackballed by your potential customers. This is just my little opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

Reply by CaliNotary on 7/16/09 12:56pm
Msg #296090

Listen to Pat!

It is ridiculous to even consider writing to Fed Ex. You weren't there as a customer, don't waste their time with this petty bullshit. Especially when writing is obviously not your forte; the execs at Fed Ex probably wouldn't be able to figure out what you're talking about in the first place. Lord knows I can barely understand what you're writing here.

Dealing with jerks goes with the territory. Most people are perfectly nice, but there are a few that aren't. If it's that bad, you leave the signing. If it's just annoying, deal with it, finish the signing, and get over it.

Reply by BrendaTx on 7/16/09 2:39pm
Msg #296098

Re: Listen to Pat! - Yep. n/m

Reply by CH2inCA on 7/16/09 1:23pm
Msg #296092

Re: mean borrower thanks yall

Shelley

I'm sorry this happened to you!!
Sadly, I don't believe that contacting his employer will be of any benefit to YOU.
Except for giving you an opportunity to vent, what do you hope will happen? What do you think his employer should do? and why? Odds are that the employer is already well aware that the man is an a**.

This is much easier said than done; but as I often say and trust me I land on my bottom often. Pick yourself up, dust off your bottom, and stand up straight, go on to the next job as the professional you are. Don't waste another moment contemplating your anger and hurt, you can get above that.

hugs

I hope today is a much better day for you.

Reply by ReneeK_MI on 7/16/09 2:44pm
Msg #296100

you're inviting a lawsuit ....

and likely this is just the kind of person to take you up on the invitation. Speaking to ANYONE about this person's private matters, including the fact that he obtained a mortgage, AND OMG speaking to his co-workers ...

Not every person on the planet is how we wish them to be - and also, it is the most difficult people who offer the greatest lessons. If everyone was nice, we wouldn't have to have any people skills whatsoever.

Let it go and maybe he won't find out you talked about him ...take the lesson, even if it's now all in hindsight, and move on.

Reply by notaryinmo on 7/16/09 3:40pm
Msg #296109

Re: mean borrower thanks yall

@Shelley. I've been thinking about your experience. Please remember this: For as long as you continue to think about the incident, you are giving this man power over your thoughts. If you choose to continue allowing him to influence you, you'll not be able to stop thinking about what was, what if's and so on. If you can put this experience in the back of your thoughts, you'll know what to do should the same ever happen again.

Reply by JanelWI on 7/16/09 11:35am
Msg #296081

I am so sorry you had that experience. If you have ever studied Freud, it is evident that this man is compensating for a serious insecurity problem and decided somewhere along the road of life that his money will define his worth and importance in life. Therefore he feels the need to announce it, reiterate it and display it to the annoyance of those who realize that money is a means to an end, not who they are.

It is people like this that believe everyone wants to know them for their money, but also need to announce their importance because they have money. Personally, if I am going to be remembered in life, it certainly is not for the loads of mere paper with dead presidents on it! Logically speaking, he is going to take this loan or any amount of money with him anyway, when he finally departs this good earth. People that begin to believe that money defines human existence is the greatest illusion of them all, and the biggest destroyer of human integrity. It sounds like he has gone off the cliff!

Shake it off, don't carry his insecurities:-)
Good luck to you! we all need it:-)

Reply by Jess/CT on 7/16/09 11:38am
Msg #296082

Sounds awlful, sorry you had the experience.

One thing you learn in Customer Service is not to take things personally. It's easier said than done, but with enough practice, you learn that it works.

Reply by Patricia/VT on 7/16/09 2:39pm
Msg #296099

In a decade of doing signings I have only walked once - when the borrower grabbed my arm and told me I was going to sit for as long as it took him to read every word of every document. He then left the table to use the phone, and I gathered everything and left. I was paid my full fee and recommended that the next notary meet him in a public place.

Reply by Mitchell & Associates on 7/16/09 4:19pm
Msg #296118

I love this job. I have been doing this for 10 years and I honestly love this job. I have had mean borrowers, rude borrowers, stupid borrowers. man and wife fighting. I have also met the nicest people in the world. I have been cussed, threatened and insulted. I helped them all equally and did my best. I can no longer make a full time career out of this although I trully wish I could. DO NOT CONTACT ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS MAN. It is a violation of his privacy in my opinion. I just wish I had gotton him. You would have been spared this bad experience and I like a challenge. Don't make it too easy for me. Chalk it up for your own sake and move on. Learn to always control the closing. If you can't leave. Good Luck

Reply by Shelley Pahn on 7/18/09 2:17pm
Msg #296435

Re: advice

thanks for your input