Posted by Jim/AL on 5/7/09 10:32pm
Msg #287764

Worst closing experience yet, always fun with Vodka

Get to the appt. and they have to drag him home from neighbors, in he comes with 1/2 quart of Vodka in hand. Let the fun begin.
He knows me from previous closing, so he thinks we are buds. Wants me to just sign for him. Has to get shot glass and chaser out, light a smoke. Then I tell him his ear is bleeding, so he does the rub the ear then lick the fingers and rub the ear some more. He wrote all over my hand, he dropped the F bomb at least 100 times. He slapped my face three times..all in fun. He grabbed my hand at least four or five times. He did a shot fell out of the chair, sent the table into my lap and I grabbed the half empty bottle of Vodka just as it was heading for the docs and my lap, almost had a crotch full.
I entertained him through the whole closing with him thinking that these docs are all signed.
When I stood up to leave and he realized that I am 6'5' and 230 he was amazed so instead of the hug he was trying to give me, he settled for numerous hand shakes and invited me to come back anytime and then kept telling me how much he loved me.
Hit the disinfectant as soon as I hit the car. And hit the shower as soon as I got home.
Being a bouncer in the past helped me to maintain my cool, but I was ready more than once to lay his butt out.
Not sure if he will remember tomorrow, but these bloody docs will not be funding a loan, so I guess he will be seeing me again.

Life is such a fun ride!

Reply by A-1 Signing Agents, LLC on 5/7/09 10:34pm
Msg #287765

I think being a female, I would have definately left. I've had a few really creepy experiences. I'd of bouned him though. LOL

Reply by Jim/AL on 5/7/09 10:40pm
Msg #287768

I felt like if I had tried leaving then the situation would have escalated and he would have rwally gotten more out of hand. Me hitting him in his home would have probably gained me some special two handed bracelets and I do not like that kind of jewelry...lol.

Reply by Glenn Strickler on 5/7/09 10:44pm
Msg #287769

Us big guys, (I am 6-3, 240) sometimes forget what a woman can be in for in these situations. I would definitely advise anyone against going into any situation that they don't feel comfortable with.

I had one a few months ago that spent the first 20 minutes of our appointment driving the big white diesel. Since he was early in my schedule and I had another one close by, I told him he has 2 hours to get sober and feeling better. He was feeling pretty silly and in pretty good shape when I got back.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 5/7/09 11:33pm
Msg #287770

"driving the big white diesel"

What does that mean? I gather it's a drinking reference, but I'm lost! I'm not a drinker.

Reply by Glenn Strickler on 5/7/09 11:40pm
Msg #287771

Head hanging in the toilet bowl, one hand keeping your head from going in and the other hand on the flush handle "honking the horn" ....... A real old trucker's CB acronym.

Reply by Glenn Strickler on 5/7/09 11:41pm
Msg #287773

Not that I'm old or anything n/m

Reply by Jim/AL on 5/7/09 11:40pm
Msg #287772

Marian, it is the same thing as riding the porcelain honda!! you know barfing!!! LOL... This is Jim's wife... I was reading the comments. ... Angie

Reply by Glenn Strickler on 5/7/09 11:43pm
Msg #287774

"riding the porcelain honda!"

ROTFLMAO..... I'd forgotten that one ...................

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 5/7/09 11:48pm
Msg #287775

OH!!!! HAHA! That one makes more sense. Thanks! n/m

Reply by Gary_CA on 5/8/09 12:12pm
Msg #287813

Also "worshipping the porcelean god" ie kneeling before it. n/m

Reply by Gary_CA on 5/8/09 12:15pm
Msg #287814

hmmm...that's an interesting way to spell porcelain n/m

Reply by Glenn Strickler on 5/8/09 12:23pm
Msg #287817

HEy Gary ... How about those Dodgers ?....

Manny being Manny ...

Reply by Gary_CA on 5/8/09 12:47pm
Msg #287820

Dig a little deeper in the pile

Down in the thread about white out I responded to Dennis with a link to an LA Times opinion piece that sums up my feelings... Bozo doesn't begin to describe this guy.

I'd like to pull his dreadlocks out of his empty head one hair at a time.

The first 7 innings last night were fun the last two hideous. I thought on the Redbirds could lose to the National Disasters.

Reply by Gary_CA on 5/8/09 4:17pm
Msg #287849

By the way it's awful hard to be good

and stay on topic when 3 or 4 fans pounce on Manny every time they see my name.

The room monitors will please note that these are truly exceptional times, and though I did respond I didn't initiate a single thread hi-jacking.

Or as I used to tell my mom... "HE started it." (which never got the acquittal I'd hoped for, always the same "I'm gonna end it" and that mom look.)

Reply by JanetK_CA on 5/8/09 3:04am
Msg #287779

Male or female, it sounds to me like that guy was in no condition to be having his signature notrarized. As Jim alluded to, he likely wouldn't have remembered things clearly the next day, if at all. Isn't there some little thing we notaries should be keeping an eye out for like mental competence and free will?

Reply by Susan Fischer on 5/8/09 1:23am
Msg #287777

"Get to the appt. and they have to drag him home from neighbors, in he comes with 1/2 quart of Vodka in hand."

Say goodby to the notary as she politely excuses herself, walks to her car, and calls the hiring entity as she drives away.

But then, I'm old.

Reply by SueW/Tn on 5/8/09 3:58am
Msg #287780

You signed a drunk who wasn't aware? Huh???? n/m

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 5/8/09 6:15am
Msg #287782

I don't think so, Sue - he said

"I entertained him through the whole closing with him thinking that these docs are all signed"

Leads me to believe there was no complete, proper signing.

However, Jim, IMO, I don't think I would have wasted time "pretending" to do a signing just to keep him happy ... once I determined that he wasn't with it, I'd have made a call to my hiring party and found some excuse to leave - even if it meant having my hiring party call me back and feign an "emergency" to get me out of there ... c'mon Jim - a 6' 5" 230 lb former bouncer?? I'm sure you could have figured a way out without setting him off....if he was so out of it that he couldn't sign or didn't know what he was signing, he'd have no clue you were leaving with an unsigned loan package (experience with alcoholics speaking here)..

My .02 FWIW -

Reply by Jim/AL on 5/8/09 8:43am
Msg #287791

signing was not complete... by the time we got half way in

he could not find the line I was pointing at to sign on and his writing went to scribbling, I started skipping pages then. I requested he not drink more till we finished, but he kept doing more shots while signing. I could not contact the TC because it was 8:30-9:30 at night and they have no emergency contact numbers. Spoke to his girlfriend this morning (non-drinker) and she said she kind of figured the papers would be no good since she was there for the festivities. She apoligized and said he would not be drunk when we sign again.

Reply by sue_pa on 5/8/09 7:09am
Msg #287784

Years ago our esteemed peer Suzanne N. said ... and I've never needed this but always kept it right in the front of my brain ... should she ever need to 'escape' she'd gather up everything, rush out the door and say that she had to get back to the office for the correct documents. I also would not have wasted my time with this guy. How about something easy like ... I've got call the office w/a question and my phone is in the car?

Picking here (with a smile) ... I don't have a big bag to pack up and all sorts of paraphanalia (sp?) to gather up. I've got a folder with loan docs and my equivalent of a brief case (REALLY nice Liz Clairbourne bags in every color imaginable). I can be "packed up" in a second or two. I also don't allow anyone to hang up coat in a closet. The very few times I actually wear a coat inside (like when it's in the single digits outside) I always put it on the back of my chair. I generally wear a blazer or cardigan sweater that I keep on unless it gets very warm and then I hang it on the back of my chair. As always, about someone taking my jacket, experience speaks and it only takes one time for me Someone took my coat and went to another room with it - no idea where. I was ready to leave. One was on the phone and the other was chatty and in no hurry and without being outright rude, I could not move them. Now, I can keep inching towards the door when I get this type.

Spending more than a minute or two with a sloppy slobbering drunk, not me.

Reply by sobeit on 5/8/09 11:50am
Msg #287809

Gotta love it... n/m

Reply by dickb/wi on 5/8/09 2:12pm
Msg #287831

i may be in a minority here but i never would have......

closed this loan nor would i have notarized his signature on the docs......he was not of sound mind when inebriated in my opinion....in wi if they want to write an offer on a home in that condition we have to refuse....

Reply by Jim/AL on 5/8/09 3:00pm
Msg #287839

loan is not closed and signature not notarized, going back

Monday to sign again and Notarize if he is of sound mind.

Reply by dickb/wi on 5/8/09 5:13pm
Msg #287859

jim...sorry about he assumption on my part...... n/m

Reply by Jim/AL on 5/8/09 10:14pm
Msg #287880

No problem at dickb...lol.. I am over the whole thing. n/m

Reply by Tamara Schmitz on 5/8/09 3:36pm
Msg #287845

That's the best story I've heard in a while..what a mess! Being a woman, I can't even begin to imagine what that would have been like for me! I would have ran!