Posted by Laura_V on 4/15/10 12:33pm
Msg #331857
charm
Been musing about charm lately and for a recent decade or so.
I’ve always had it. Didn’t understand it. But if I needed it, there it was. It was an On Off switch and I used my intuition to press the button but empirically I had no clue where the button was located.
After lots of wondering about it, I finally understand why ppl find me charming as heck. Last piece of puzzle fell into place this morning. Whew!
Components of charm
NEVER lie unless it is for The Greater Good or is the Honorable Choice.
Examples: “I have no clue where your child and husband are” - you drunk violent bi~. Or - “Gee, I don’t know what happened. You were promised abc by LO. These docs are full of typos. I am not allowed to leave docs with you but you may make notes of errors before I leave. I am in no hurry. I am the Neutral Notary. Just call your LO in the morning and let her/him fix the errors.” OR “That haircut is short and lovely.” (OMG - that lie would have been welcome to me from Nov thru Mar - LOL.)
When I am with anyone (client, 4 year old, elderly guy driving me nuts with babble), their agenda is my agenda. (I’ve spent at least 2.5 hours on phone and during 2 appts w/ this generous, kind - dare I say it - trusting idiot for a whopping total of $50.) But his pension is on the line so I will spend 15 hours more to help him if nec
I happen to be funny.
“An unexpected gift at an unexpected time.” Those words were spoken in a movie I enjoyed. Can’t remember name. Me coming back to NR was 90% that and rest something else.
And I saw Pollyanna as a little girl and said “got it” and I have been living it. My little beach town just south of the Canadian border has 1200 people living here in winter and around 3,000 living here (part and full time) in summer. Big weekends are favorite times for parties so July 4th sees around 5,000 people as visitors and residents.
So winter for the hourly wage people in the one grocery store, 3 places to eat, etc, are rough. While the tiny art galleries thrive on the 3 crafts fairs here, winter is awful. I’m busy but when I do emerge, I look at the locals I encounter and find something nice to say about them. “What a lovely color scarf - it is just the right shade of purple for you” works wonders. And I am always sincere. A bad haircut can still sport a fabulous color.
And I meant it as a little brownie when I swore to be “clean in thought, word, and deed.” I didn’t know what they meant by clean so I washed my hands a lot. Mum was saying the same thing. A better word would have been sincere. Earnest is more accurate but kids understand what sincere means if you explain it.
So that’s why I am charming. I sure have wondered.
A few things about me -
I have had tons of people I care about die starting at age 17. Cancer mostly then AIDS in the 90s with my beloved gay guy friends. Then more cancer. Recently lost brother - 6 yrs ago - and mum in Dec. (ouch) And the only notary who has been phoning me to hang out and chat and hold my hand (when I didn’t need it but he thought I did) just lost his wife to cancer. So I am not bothering him with calls or emails. He is with his family. He loves sailing and summer. When that is over either he flies to stay in my home or I fly to stay in a hotel or whatever he wants there.
Me being funny means that I can drop notary work (which I hate because I think resolving conflict in an adversarial way is nuts unless to have to involve the military or cops) and make more money being a clown who sings and dances in front of cute kids at parties. I’ll charge a modest amount and Guerilla market it. Definitely more fun than notary work. I just did notary work because I think notaries are the border guards to paperwork. Notaries are important. And I was lonely and it was a way to meet all kinds of amazing people. I haven’t watched TV in over 7 months. Who needs to when you are a notary and busy?
C sent me this text via the other day: “Hey, Laura Went to the website. It looks good. I am in, what do you want me to do?” I want her to help herself by emailing me a logo, etc. She sent one. I had to remind her to send the second batch. She is more charming than me. That’s why she is confused.
Of course I pay all my taxes. Every customer gets a professional written receipt with all money paid including any tips. My EIN is on that receipt. Since I usually add lots more to the clients‘ tips for meals gifted me (after they leave), I think that covers whatever taxes I owe on the barter value of the gift.
I always take the SE exclusion because I have known for many years that there would be no SocSec left for me as I was born at the end of the baby boomers. My little sister has been a Calif government employee for almost 2 decades. I knew she had great benefits and would get a great pension. But I went to Calif last Dec to help some people and I saw a nightmare. Insufficient Medicare for sis and me when we are 80 something and really need it. Miniscule pension for sis. So I have been working far too hard (I got sick) to make lots of money to invest for sis, my alma mater, and me. As soon as enough cash is in the right ethical places, I will formally apply to be a 100% Canadian citizen.
I used to be a bookkeeper in SF and Bay Area at $45 an hour. I was good, fast, and very good with legal deductions. My work has been audited several times by the IRS. Each time it was fast and easy. And I hated bookkeeping. I still hate it. Too slow and tedious. But I loved marketing consulting. All small business owners need both but the IRS makes them hire only one. Doing bookkeeping was my side door into my real work. That’s why I always made the client more money than I cost. The exception: the law firm I ran part time while I had other clients and did other stuff. I always made certain he made at least $125K gross profit annually even though I had to pay for my own health insurance and vacations.
A Canadian asked me two days ago to help BC with the lumber crisis and the housing crisis for the working poor. I said “of course.” I was in the real estate office working with a sincere smart gal yesterday in Canada. I will help people in exchange for a discount on a house. I will buy this house and the lot it sits on with my own money in a rural BC town nearby so it can be the showcase house. Then I will present several ideas to the government and give them the house under a contract that says they will put it to good use.
This post is not about me. This post is an apology to the good people who I accidentally hurt when I was begging notaries to either make a lot of money or find another career. And 3 notaries in FL needed a spanking.
Yes, I have been sounding manic lately. But words are symbols and shapes. And when you read them on the internet you hear? Yes. Mania simply means you are fully engaged in whatever you are doing. Mania and multitasking was taught to me as a little girls while I was watching a guy with plates and sticks on Ed Sullivan. “Cool” thought little me and I still love doing doing both simultaneously. (I loved TV as a kid. I was so fascinated with it that one time my pop had to throw a slipper at my back to get my attention. He had been yelling - LOL.) Mania is a bad thing when you think a friend will be hurt or die if you do not drive 90mph to save them. (That manic depressive nice guy wound up very badly hurt in his truck which was stuck in a tree.) Why my good mania has been sounding bad lately? A couple of the reasons: 1 friend in another state is on suicide watch. Dr can’t tell me what is going on due to client pt priviledge. Another dear friend lost her husband of 25+ years in Jan. A WA friend (not notary) has been showing signs of dementia for almost a year. She won’t go to doctor. (I sob about her.) Another friend will lose her husband any month now. My dog almost died recently - a wonderful woman saved her. Saying this is part of my apology to you. Please do not call me unless you want to chat about something fun (like marketing yourself) this summer. I am very happy and practicing to start teaching dance again. I hope to teach women who are overweight or who have bad allergies and thus cannot exercise outdoors. I will teach them to take joy in their bodies because I love dance and I hate exercise (boring). Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkle, Footloose, and Eric Satie are already involved. Just plain fun. My role as a teacher is to model joy as I move and to model movement vocabulary. I will only say “let’s party” or “hey - did you know that when you supinate your ankles you get sprains more frequently?” if I see someone supinating.
Cameo comments re my current (and near future websites and marketing campaigns).
>PN and AP are my two notary websites.
>****.org is my new notary cool thing A few notaries are in on it already.
They are the ones helping me. Reciprocity was my new year’s resolution in my 30s. Bada boom.
>OC.com is simply lovely and fun. “H*forHaiti.com” is a marketing campaign.
C stands for Carlin as in George C. I am funny and an artisan. Rachel H is an artist. She used to post on NR. Too busy now with art and other stuff.
>SF.com should be an .org and will be in a year or so. Starting Memorial Day weekend, I hope to sell something very healthy that tons of ppl need. An ethical MLM (yes, a MLM that is ethical which is not Amway is a miracle - got it) will be the fundraising vehicle. Marketing will be word of mouth with a website that has taken me months to write as backup. (Hate writing, hate tech. Too tedious, too slow, too perfectionist. can ya hear me now?)
>HOC.com sells something necessary, organic, and biodegradeable. When I/helpers finish, it will be the funniest website I have ever discovered while giving RULE recognition to LOLcats.com
Note re HOC: Online template software is problematic. When get help at 4am then I require 27ish yr old tech guys to read RED captions after viewing pics carefully (so they get break), they laugh into their KNEES so their bosses don’t know they are having fun while helping a nice client who hates ykw.
>BoW website died when it was hacked last Nov. Essentially gone cuz ppl wanted green paper. I spent 2k+ hours and $2K on website (tech gave me huge discount cuz he loved what I was doing) on important project that would have helped over 2/3 of 97% of local state’s business owners. But no one would help me. Broke my heart. But a new Canadian client told me how I can make similar happen in BC. Yippee! I can run with that!
So L finally was so exhausted, spent, happy, sobbing, she posted something odd. Well, ef me. I phoned a NR gal to offer a huge favor and she reamed me. What? She said I owed NR an apology. I have never owed NR anything. But her words let me know that some sincere and earnest ppl were confused by what I posted. When I am volcanic and and deep pain I am sarcastic. so what. I finally posted my vent and never looked back. HUGE thanks to those who supported me. I assume the Triad pounded me. i could care less. I was gone from NR 2+ years ago. I came back to be the antiChr-- Well, eff me, I’m a gal.
btw - I rarely ask for assistance on NR. When I am in an emergency status, and post on main board, I get 8 ppl offering help. A third were answers to my prayers. HUGE thanks to all 8 who posted and all 100 who wished they had time.
The biggest helper was DF. But I posted a “help pls” post on Leisure a couple of times. All I wanted was some digital snapshots of happy babies and happy toddlers. Nothing more. Since each pic would not reveal the identity of cute kid in a few months, I thought this would be fun. If you wish to send an adorable pic I would hugely appreciate it if you would send it to northwestgranite at yahoo. That was a biz that failed cuz installer came down with AIDs. Hard and ouch. It may not be until summer when I resurface but if gmail allows me to receive your pic, I will be grateful and respond.)
But a couple of the 3 stooges pointed out some “free” urls that are bait and switch “free” places. Thanks for 5sec help but pls, do some due diligence prior to posting. This text is not for me - this tip is for YOU. And you thought my posting “get a clue” or “get a clew” was about me? Nope. That was charity work. Posting without due diligence is an addiction. I don’t drink caffeine unless it to help me drive safely.
If I phoned you between Nov 1 and Jan 31, I was phoning you from my H1H1 bed.
I talk to amazing and wonderful notaries via phone a few times a week. I started picking up the phone 5+ years ago. One gal on this board was the first. She has no time to be on NR and she still posts.
Let me “out” a few notaries in this post before I cancel my membership and participation at NR forever, please.
FA still does ballet. I assume she still wears pointe shoes. (I never got that far.) She is in her 50s and is one of the best notaries who stopped posting here a few years ago.
PAW and Robert FL are THE most knowledgable notaries posting on NR, imho. Thank you PAW for our wonderful phone conversation and all that you have done with and for tech-hating notaries like me. I’ll phone you asap to more fully answer your recent question.
Robert: thank you for posting a few times before I leave. I’ve been a notary for 14 years and you taught me important new things. You mentioned military at some point. I know a battleship when I see one. You and I have plainly stated that we do not want work from TCs, LOs, SSs, etc. IE: our agenda is to enlighten notaries or ask for clarification of notary law, regulations, practices, principles, or ?
And the 3 stooges said you were wrong? LOL
Sylvia: sincere best wishes with your current project. You have been sweet to me.
Janet: you both totally rock! SUPER smart.
Michelle is the woman to watch. Flexible, big hearted, smart, great at marketing, and can control her temper (not a redhead). I have no idea how many medical and academic degrees she now has. She keeps adding more.
Jim is also amazing. He and NS have huge hearts. Jim helped me figure out something important. I asked him to do a couple of things for me. He knew I was joking AND he gave me a laugh and some sympathy. That’s all I needed. Thanks, J.
NS was in court against SS and won!?! NS is my superhero. Last spring, via email, I offered NS a Calif connection that would have earned him $500 per signing if he did some marketing (materials and couching by me and both free to him and paid for by atty client) to help spread the word about an honest attorney still doing loan mods in this awful recession. One catch: he needed to be available weekdays. NS said thanks but too busy via email. Good on him. Two other notaries in that area were also making too much money on their own and declined. I set the Indian one up with a new client and connection via phone. He is a very intelligent and smart man. (Found him on AR.) A couple of gals said yes, then took summer off. Then all opportunities went away when some legislation was passed in Calif last fall. Oh well - Arnie does not have my private phone number.
VC is a big hearted woman who is doing something wonderful in the South. I’ll phone my WA friend who wants to help VC as soon as I come up for air.
The 3 stooges are personally responsible for driving the best and brightest notaries off NR for the last 1.5 years. Mosquito B and friend drove me nuts so I left around 2 years ago. Well, annoyance is one thing. Pounding on someone is violence. Slashing someone’s guts out is more accurate. I spoke with the most reasonable of you three via phone twice. (Both times from my H1N1 sick bed.) Twice is all I dared. In my most recent post on NR 4-whatever weeks ago, I said “get a clew.” That is exactly what I meant. I was exhausted from spending the last 8 years building my dream life where all is as close to 100% ethical (hate plastic lids) and a bit lucrative and as little misery for me as possible and everything (good and bad) is happening this spring!!!!! (See other parts of this post re fear, misery, tears, etc. When I say “everything” I mean bad as well as good.)
Roger and the Ohio Society of Notaries are batting home runs every time either surfaces. I love watching what he is doing with that notary trade association. I’m helping as much as I can given that I am busy and in WA. I met Roger in person when he was traveling. He took me to dinner and gave me a gift.
Linda has been doing a national version with some differences. She and those notaries have their ethics right, too. (I’m rolling out something cool this spring / summer, too.)
C (east coast gal) is modest and a marketing genius. She knows that it is important to be diversified in a recession. (She diversified her various services years ago.) It is an honor to speak with her via phone.
E in SoCal is a gal who does tons of volunteer work to help abused kids and mums, even when she is working 1 job and doing mobile notary work on the side.
K left NSA work a few years ago when it was still lucrative. She got burnt out and discovered she could make 6 figures doing something very fun and highly ethical. It started as a favor to a friend and that is her life story in a nutshell. I’m getting on that bandwagon this month and I will use it to raise money for charities as I make a bit for myself and a new non-profit I can’t talk about until I get some legal things in place.
Renee was HUGELY flattered when I informed her via phone that buckets of NR gals PMd and emailed me when I wanted to know the best notary in Detroit was. Someone else offered to help, too. Sorry I never got back to you. (That was for my favorite client. His dad passed away last fall and his mum just died. He has $2K or more of notary work waiting for me and am I phoning him? Of course not.) Ms. Detroit: would you wait until summer and then phone me, pls? I’d love to get you that work. Not notary work but pays around $100 on day of invoice for some driving and a 30 - 60 minutes of work.)
The best one page notary website in the US (that I found) belongs to a LA notary. Good on him.
B (Calif) is extremely attractive, smart, and about to make some great changes. A true pleasure to speak with via phone. My agenda is to help her. Her agenda is ya thx but I know more than you. So B and Janets rock and my sincere thx.
D took my website name and added the two letters for her state. I burst out laughing when I read it, woke up the dog, and was flattered and honored. And very happy she got the marketing lesson in my url. (I now have 5 websites for 6 businesses and I hate building websites. Thank goodness a wonderful man - who recently retired and I think is in Haiti right now - finished the OC one for me. That one is stick built. I’m OC because no one can spell my last name. btw - my middle name is used only on my notary work. It means “great resources in times of need.” That is why I have been posting when I hate writing. It’s too slow.)
IdP isn’t even a notary but she is full of wisdom, not college classes. She might be lurking on this board so kudos to you.
DF got back from volunteering in Haiti doing EMT work almost 2 months ago. I posted a quick “tech help needed pls” post on NR and he helped me in two big ways for a few days before he had to leave town. Thank you, DF. Thanks to others for offering, too. DF, a photographer in CO, and tech support guys from two website hosting companies saved stick built site so pug and I are OK now.
P and I are sisters even though we have different colors of skin and she lives on the right coast. She started being an ace marketer in her teens. So she is like Aphrodite. (I had to take classes and get some degrees.) We used to phone each other and swap marketing tips and laugh. Her daddy died last fall and I used to phone her to make her laugh. Now she is phoning again and we both laugh until we cry. Last time I hung up then ran to the WC. LOVE her!
CE told me she got her marketing and business smarts from her mom and pop before she was born. I believe her.
My apologies if I left out any notary whom I have helped or spoken with via phone. Being a notary looks easy but it is tricky as heck. Notaries are Princesses Valiant in my mind.
I’m a slow typist and I need to go soon. (I’ve been working on this for a couple of weeks.)
My yahoo and gmail accounts are messed up (China hacked everyone last November). I have a new email address and I need to phone tech support so they can tell me which buttons to push to open the email inbox. (Great site but techs are not intuitive.) So if you email me, there is a good chance I won’t get it. And I’m spending time in Canada these days getting ready for working there (not as a notary).
Now I would like to leave you with some thoughts as an apology and a gift. Reading any of this post is entirely optional, of course. So is the below.
This is what I am thinking about or doing these days:
Moving all cash to credit unions (one in each country). Parking some cash in credit card account because that saves me a lot of money interest if I suddenly need cash at an atm.
Good notaries are nerds. Great notaries are super nerds. Mobile notaries are flexible.
Linear thinking, rigid thinking, aspergers, and not being able to think one’s way out of a corner are all different things. They can overlap and be painful. (Super flexible here so no worries. I used to teach hula and some ballet.)
Dialing a number with a 604 area code is calling Canada.
Part of why I need to leave notary work is that the liability is huge and I need to protect my assets for my heirs. I could incorporate my notary business as an LLC and then incorporate all my businesses under a Holdings LLC (which I will do) but for seal and oath fees? And for spending enough on two types of E&O insurance just in case? er....whadda you think?
I read an article on solar flares in the Smithsonian. 2008 or 2009, I think. We have been lucky. One bigger than normal flare and the internet goes dead. That’s why I am selling two highly ethical things via internet, word of mouth, and (later) mail order catalog. That’s web 7.0
Since the internet was hugely hacked by someone else in Nov and early March, this is how I shop online: I load up my cart, complete address section, etc, then I phone the company and tell someone my name and credit card number. https no longer works everywhere. I don’t like computers but this I have noticed just like I don’t need to know how a car works to drive one.
Saying “and” is far more fun and productive than saying “but.”
Before I turned 40 (I’m not telling how long ago THAT was!) I caught on to an important concept: working by the hour was not as good as other ways to make money. Now that I am close to retirement age, I only have 40 - 50 or more years left to have fun, help people, and make some money for me, sis, and my alma mater. Being a professional clown for $ and teaching dance to older women for free are a couple of the super fun things I know how to do well. The third involves sending money to Haiti and DF taught me who to send it to.
“An unexpected gift at an unexpected time.” Quote from my FAV movie “Finding Forrester.” GREAT for kids in grades 9 - 12.
next step: Now watch, be stunned by “Billy Elliot.” HUGE.
My lifetime invisible Olympic birth gift gold is choreography. Watch both suggested movies (or not) and you will understand my life. I knew Julliard would snob me. So I went to a far better accredited private women’s college.
Meat and foul have far more hormones than I thought. So do milk, soy milk, and eggs. I recently stopped eating both so something that bothers all middle aged women is going away fast for me. I’ve been in it less than 4 years. (That’s where my spelling and grammar went. I hope they and meno went someplace warm. I hear New Zealand is nice in January.)
Yes, I am very scatterbrained. But since I was also given the ability to focus on one thing at a time, I am happy to be a flexible thinker, too. It’s very fun.
How many times a day do I discover myself thinking the word “fun” and or “happy?” How many times a day do I sing in the car? Buckets. I hope you do same.
Owning a small dollar store is a great way for a flexible, smart nerd to make money in a recession.
Not enough capital? Borrow equipment, post on CraigsList and other free places then detail cars and get paid $75 cash as soon as the appointment is over. Provide a professional-looking receipt with your EIN on it, not your SS#, like I do at every notary appointment.
Demographics are more important to spend time and money on, learning about, or getting than advertising.
I finally found an affordable ghost writer and she is 13 years old and will graduate from high school next year. She has always wanted to go to Harvard but my alma mater has better pre-med and pre-law programs and I can be a conduit to get the family the scholarship money needed (mum works in the local pub). At 14 or so, she can go to an all women’s college and not have to deal with boys and their teenage agendas. I’ll clue her in re Viva Gel and dental squares so dealing with the older girls will be safe, too.
Thank heaven for this gal and her younger sister! I super hate writing and building websites.
Farewell and best of luck,
LL and the cool pug
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