Posted by Cris_AR on 2/23/10 4:43am
Msg #323878

What do you do?

I have been in two situations lately where the borrowers end up in a argument. (domestic, nothing regarding loan).
Once the wife was yelling and throwing laundry while pacing between me and the door. As soon as she stated she would not sign and I had a clear route I left.
In the other situation the husband was mad at wife and daughter and became irate and wanted to "hurry", I was trying to go as fast as possible while he continued his tirade.

I am trying to decide how to handle in the future. Do I say something? Do I leave the minute a voice gets raised?

I have not been paid for the first situation (I am going to call today) and I will most likely not be paid for the second as a signature was missed during tirade.

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/23/10 5:53am
Msg #323881

That's so rude and so wrong. What pathetic, childish people.

If it's me, and I don't feel threatened, I'll probably say, "hey, we're almost finished here...can we get this done?"

If they continue to act out I'll start subtly putting things up and then I'm going to leave. To H. with them.

Reply by Ilene C. Seidel on 2/23/10 6:11am
Msg #323883

I would ask they continue their argument after I leave if they continue I wouldn't stay. You have no clue if violence could erupt. Go sit in your car call the emergency number at title company or signing co and tell them the problem. Let them call the bo to cool the situation down. And depending on how much screaming there is I may not go back in. Violent people can turn on a dime and become physical, why should you be in the middle of it. This has happend to me once in 10 yrs. I backed out the door scared stiff. They slammed the door on my face, literally.

Reply by CF on 2/23/10 8:06am
Msg #323893

Um leave....hands down!!! You are in no way obligated to

sit there and try to perform a loan closing in a hostile situation. If you feel threatened pick up your stuff (easy for me....I carry stamp, docs, and purse...that is it) leave the docs if you need to and say that you forgot something in your car and get outta there!!!

It has only happened to me a couple of times and I diffused the situation by clearly stating that I was leaving and they could determine if they wanted their loan another time. Not too long ago some borrowers were po-ed at BOA and when I got there they would not let me in the the house and they acted like I cared. I straight up told them....I have no problems....either you WANT the loan or you DONT....and I have no intentions of begging to come into your home as an unwanted guest....I turned and walked off their porch in about 20 seconds. They kind of looked shocked as I left willingly. Why would anyone want to be in this situation???? I guess that their LO had been pressuring them....go figure!!! They must have thought that I was muscle sent to get the deal done! LOL

Give me a break....my safety come first before any obligations to any companies!!!

Reply by Notarysigner on 2/23/10 8:07am
Msg #323894

Funny, last week I had a similar situation yet small by comparison to yours. The BWR was so pixxed at the TC he was slamming doors, yelling, etc. I sat there with his wife for a few minutes and when he came back to the today I told him he reminded me of why I retired. He calmed down after calling the lender and TC and telling them he was canceling loan. We signed.
I would never be a part of anybody's violence and would excuse myself immediately, calling 911 if need be. IMO

Reply by Grammyzoom on 2/23/10 8:52am
Msg #323899

The Fighter and the Hoarder............

I will not stay anywhere I am not wanted and these things can escalate into a situation you do not want to be a part of.

As soon as the fighting starts, pick up your things and let them know that you are leaving and that you will come back if and when they decide that they both want the loan.

As soon as you get into your car call the SS or as directed on your confirmation and let them know what is going on. They may ask you to stick around for a while. That is your decision.

Staying in that situation is never worth it!

There is another situation I was in a month or so ago. We (my husband and I work together) went to the home of a 'HOARDER" in the absolute worst of conditions. When we got inside I almost vomited from the stink. There was no place to sit, filth everywhere including the furniture and the smell was overwhelming. Animals all over everything and apparently she was short of liter boxes for the cats.

Luckily it was a very short signing and we got through it quickly. When it was time for me to go through and check the documents I literally bolted out the back door. Had I stayed one more minute I would have passed out.

We have been in homes that were dirty before but nothing like this. If I ever come across this situation again I will NOT go inside but will insist we either sign outside or meet someplace else. It is not worth not insulting the borrower. I is sad that some people live this way but I will never enter another home like that again.

Reply by Cris_AR on 2/23/10 9:25am
Msg #323906

Thanks for all feedback.
I have decided I am not going to stay in a volatile situation ever.
With both signings I mentioned I detected anger when I called to confirm, I should have quickly assessed when I arrived and then backed out when the arguments started.
Both situations made be extremely nervous.
BTW One of the borrowers claimed to be a loan closer....

Reply by Notarysigner on 2/23/10 9:31am
Msg #323907

Future reference IMO. When ever you are doing a signing with someone in the lender industry, remember because "you're just a notary" they will most certainly always claim to know more than you. Be patient and I promise you, they will ask you a dumb question in the next five minutes.

Reply by Grammyzoom on 2/23/10 9:34am
Msg #323908

So true, so true!

Reply by Joan_OH on 2/23/10 2:16pm
Msg #323938

....Another closer.......UGH!!!!

Worst closing I've had in 7 years and the ONLY closing in the 5700 I've done where I lost control. Buyer's brought their bulldog sister who was a local "closer". I would have walked, but was trapped in a corner. I tell you, this witch got the best of me and I'm not proud of it.

Usually other closers are great. But this one.......

Joan

Reply by ReneeK_MI on 2/23/10 2:56pm
Msg #323941

What I do is diffuse, diffuse, diffuse ...

I don't engage, I don't take it personally, and above all I don't get authoritative or 'controlling', because that does NOT work. You have to keep your eye on what you really want (a peaceful situation) and don't allow your own ego to get involved. I can recall only one time when I wasn't able to turn the person around. Learning how to diffuse a situation certainly is an excellent tool to put in the Life Toolbox!

Here's a good starter:

http://www.businessknowhow.com/marketing/diffuse-anger.htm

Reply by ReneeK_MI on 2/23/10 3:03pm
Msg #323942

Let me add ....

At the very first subtle hint of anger, frustration or negativity - I address it, I don't let it simmer. If it's anger, I'll ask "Have I done something to make you feel angry?" That opens the door to let them vent - and in our line of work, we meet a lot of people who are in desperate need for a HUMAN BEING to listen to them - we're usually 'it'. You don't have to express an opinion, you don't have to 'fix' anything - you'd be surprised what 3 minutes of just listening will get you.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/23/10 7:12pm
Msg #323985

Re: What I do is diffuse, diffuse, diffuse ...

Great stuff, Renee! Most people just want to be heard - and as we know, we're often the only person they see face to face. Some borrowers just perceive us to be part of the same incomprehensible collection of "others" with whom they've been dealing to get their loan.

Naturally the last few points wouldn't apply to us, but the worst thing we can try to do, imho, is to get defensive and respond in kind. I agree with others that if they've gotten to the point of being irrational, an exit is the thing to do. Occasionally, though, if you hear them out, they'll calm down and think you are wonderful.