Posted by Bravo on 6/2/10 7:24pm
Msg #339495

Rudeness--a sign of the times?

I just completed a signing wherein the loan broker, buyers and buyers RE Agent were present. More and more I am noticing that people are dispensing with the most basic of common courtesy and this signing was one of those. Loan broker is an acquaintance and always friendly, however, neither the buyers nor their agent acknowledged my presence by a simple introduction or greeting and they behaved as if I was invisible the entire hour. As I was preparing to exit I congratulated the buyers on their first time home purchase and stood to leave. Again, they just stared at me for a second and then turned their attention elsewhere. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not looking for any lifetime love connections when I work, but the absence of manners is becoming more and more pronounced. I first started noticing this when in borrower's homes and as I gather my things to leave and start heading for the front door, they walk in to their living room to resume their evening tv viewing instead of seeing me to the front door with a simple "good nite". Did they not have mother's to teach them these things or has our society just become so 'me centered' that this is the result? Thanks for letting me vent.

Reply by Notarysigner on 6/2/10 7:34pm
Msg #339498

Wow, and I though they were building these mega homes without porch lights because they are seldom on when I leave. LOL

Reply by Moneyman/TX on 6/2/10 7:37pm
Msg #339500

Yes, it's a lack of "home training" on their part. Luckily though, not everyone is deficient in this area. The fact that others still have and show common courtesy is the reason it is so detectable when others do not.

Reply by mwm143 on 6/2/10 7:46pm
Msg #339502

Our positions have become so devalued

in the entire process. And it's reflected in the fees offered. A good signing agent can make a deal at the closing table or easily break it. Can you imagine what would happen if you ever said "Wow, you're really getting screwed on those closing costs".

Reply by MW/VA on 6/2/10 7:55pm
Msg #339505

Re: Our positions have become so devalued

Maybe we need to switch sides and create a new profession as borrowers' advocates.

Reply by mwm143 on 6/2/10 8:00pm
Msg #339507

Re: Our positions have become so devalued

Not a bad idea. There are usually 2 Real Estate Agents and two RE fees in a transaction. Buyers Agents or Sellers Agents. And of course the dreaded Dual Agent!

Reply by Shoshana/AZ on 6/2/10 7:53pm
Msg #339503

I totally understand where you are coming from. Our society has just become very "me centered".
I am trying to nail down an appointment for a BOA loan mod. The last time I spoke to the borrower, she slammed the phone down. I just called again today to leave one last message. I explained that if she changed her mind and did not want to sign, that's ok. Just let me know. I'll bet she doesn't call.

Reply by C. Rivera Chicago Notary Services on 6/2/10 8:00pm
Msg #339506

yes. especially with this Y generation...rudeness, AND

they expect to just GET things. They are the "give me, because I deserve it" generation. Unlike my own, where we learned to respect (or else) and that we reep our rewards if we actually hard to achieve them.

I've been in closings like that and believe me, I make it known who I am, especially if I am the one holding the 'goody' bag. Plus I'm like 5'11 so tall, big, blonde and beautiful ( ) so its not like I 'blend' in...he he.. But I give a card to everyone at the table and then begin.

Once I had an attorney 'grab' the loan docs right out from my hand, and boy oh boy, did I grab them back! HA. Should've seen the look on this face. Once I began to explain my role and position at the closing, he shut his trap, and we began.

I feel you Bravo. And how can folks NOT walk you to the door....???

Reply by CF on 6/2/10 8:16pm
Msg #339511

Re: yes. especially with this Y generation...rudeness, AND

I have to agree that a lot of people do not have manners. Many times I have been left to "find" the door myself.

I read an article a while back...could not even begin to tell you where it was from or the "official" title....but it was a list of the 10 common elements of successful people's traits: kindness, humility, and manners were the top 3. From that point on, I have recalled it in many situations and it makes a lot of sense!!!!

It is a very hard job to continuously teach your child to have good manners and respect. Trust me....I have a 5 year old! I have had to cut ties with old friends for the ways that they raise their children....b/c I can not have son around rude and demanding brats!!! Hopefully, there will be another rise to respect...although I seem to think that some people get it and some do not. I am raising my son to be successful!!!

Reply by Dorothy_MI on 6/3/10 6:42am
Msg #339559

Interestingly, I just watched a TV show

last night and one of the points was manners! By teaching manners, we teach our children to think of others and not themselves. Again, the Y generation (for the most part) are only "ME" centered, thus the lack of manners. Program also went on to say that the way we teach manners to our children is to treat them with manners. If they ask you a question, respond with "yes/no sir", "Please", "Thank You". They do mimic what we do. It was a very thoughtful program and wasn't the kind of program that this individual usually has. Very insightful.

Reply by jba/fl on 6/2/10 8:25pm
Msg #339512

Re: yes. especially with this Y generation...rudeness, AND

You sure don't look that tall in your picture!

hehehe!

Gosh I wish I had that advantage.

Reply by MW/VA on 6/2/10 8:33pm
Msg #339514

Re: yes. especially with this Y generation...rudeness, AND

Uh oh, Cari--here come the blonde jokes! LOL

Reply by C. Rivera Chicago Notary Services on 6/3/10 2:45pm
Msg #339595

blonde jokes s'kay..I'm not a natural blonde OHHHHHHH! n/m

Reply by jba/fl on 6/2/10 8:33pm
Msg #339513

Gosh- this sounds horrible! Really horrible.

Maybe Southern charm, grace and manners (and all the chit chat that goes with it) isn't so bad after all. I can honestly say I have not encountered that since I have been doing this. I don't wish this upon anyone.

Reply by kathy/ca on 6/2/10 9:33pm
Msg #339526

I have not encountered rude behavior, everyone seems very

pleasant. Sorry you are having some issues with it though.

Reply by Kay/IL on 6/3/10 9:24am
Msg #339568

Re: I have not encountered rude behavior, everyone seems very

Same here. In the 6+ years I've been a notary signing agent, only twice I recall encountering any remotely rude behavior yet I was still then able to humor those persons. Charming them with your sense of humor or a compliment or politely putting them in check (let them know that you are here to assist them with their transaction, not their enemy) goes a long ways in making a potentially bad situation into something pleasant.

Also, check yourself before arriving to the closing to make sure that you're not bringing any negative vibes or attitude. People do pick up on that and may respond accordingly ya know :/

Reply by LKT/CA on 6/2/10 9:46pm
Msg #339527

<<<.....neither the buyers nor their agent acknowledged my presence by a simple introduction or greeting and they behaved as if I was invisible the entire hour.>>>

Just so that I understand....do you mean:

A) You walked in with a big smile and a bright, cheery and *obvious* <making eye contact with everyone> HELLO, HOW ARE YOU, MY NAME IS.... and they just ignored you as if you were a piece of furniture?

OR

B) You sat down and waited for them to acknowledge you first and they said nothing?

Which happened at this signing...A or B ?

Reply by Bravo on 6/2/10 11:15pm
Msg #339543

"Just so you understand"....I didn't think that I had to explain my approach or demeanor when relating this story due to the fact that I am a professional and have been at it for many years. I'm not as tall as my blonde counter part but I know how to make an entrance and secure command of a signing situation with grace and friendly professioinalism. Does that answer your question?

Reply by LKT/CA on 6/3/10 11:34am
Msg #339579

<<<I didn't think that I had to explain my approach or demeanor.....Does that answer your question?>>>

I asked the question for my own clarification and NO, you didn't answer the question. As professional as you may be overall throughout your notary career, in *this* instance, which did you do? A or B?

I cannot see how someone makes an obvious *friendly & professional* entrance and gets completely ignored as if they didn't exist. Maybe I don't understand as I've never experienced rude borrowers. I DO make an obvious friendly and professional entrance and the borrowers are receptive and respond in like manner - even if they've had a bad day or are in a bad mood, they are receptive to a big smile and friendly "HELLO!".

Sorry, but I do not see anyone doing "A" in my previous post example, and being treated as you mentioned. Not saying it didn't happen to you, just saying I cannot *see* how it would happen.

Reply by Maureen_nh on 6/2/10 11:14pm
Msg #339542

Only problem I have ever had was with an RE agent at a sale. He just had to show off his (non) brilliance.
I have had many people furious at the lenders, but once they understood my function and I patted their dogs/cats and told them what beautiful children-homes etc they had were sweet as pie and glad for a sympathetic ear.
Some go better than others for sure, but most people want to be nice and if they aren't don't lose sleep over it. You don't have to like them and they don't have to like you. You just have to behave professionally and then go home to people that appreciate you.

Reply by Jack/AL on 6/2/10 11:46pm
Msg #339549

Haven't had such unpleasant experiences, down home in Alabama. Y'all come.

Reply by Susan Fischer on 6/3/10 2:51am
Msg #339553

Good question, Bravo. From the living room to the

National Political dirty pool. Dismissal of the 'legalities' like an afterthought, and Manners be damned. What a world, what a world, said the Wicked Witch.

I'm hopeful that's not MainStreamAmerica - because civility, common courtesy; two of the cornerstones of a progressive society will win the day.

Shake it off, Bravo - but great vent.

Reply by Frank/NC on 6/3/10 8:03am
Msg #339563

The few times I have experienced some serious rudeness is when closing a purchase at the Realty office. It seems to me that the brokers or agents somehow get a message to their clients that they are the most important cog in the wheel and the "Notary" is some dispensible piece of work.

Reply by jba/fl on 6/3/10 9:11am
Msg #339566

OK - Realtors certainly can be thoughtless - I have one

I now remember:

She wanted to constantly talk about curtains and continue walking about. I finally announced we needed to finish before more curtain talk as I had to leave soon. Mention that commission being delayed, they find their priorities very fast!

Before I am deluged with toughts to the contrary, one doesn't need to say the word commission; they understand allusions.

Reply by jba/fl on 6/3/10 9:13am
Msg #339567

I tought I taw a puddy cat....should be thought n/m

Reply by BrendaTx on 6/3/10 12:55pm
Msg #339584

*As I was preparing to exit I congratulated the buyers on their first time home purchase and stood to leave. Again, they just stared at me for a second and then turned their attention elsewhere.*

Okay, I see that and I know I don't need to give you a pop quiz to realize that you know how to conduct yourself with common politeness.

I totally get what you are saying. And, yes, I also see what you are talking about in our society.

Fortunately, in Texas, most people are not scared to use their "company manners" during signings.

And, the real ladies and gentlemen are just as kind and polite to the folks at McDonalds, Wal-mart and convenience stores as they are to their preacher on Sunday mornings.

*Thanks for letting me vent.*

You're welcome. I appreciated what you had to say.

Reply by LKT/CA on 6/3/10 1:09pm
Msg #339586

<<<I see that and I know I don't need to give you a pop quiz to realize that you know how to conduct yourself with common politeness. >>>

Hmmmm, Brenda...never knew asking for clarification becomes a "pop quiz"....interesting, to say the least.

<<<Also, check yourself before arriving to the closing to make sure that you're not bringing any negative vibes or attitude. People do pick up on that and may respond accordingly ya know :/>>>

Exactly !!! Kay/IL said it best. 5 Star statement Kay!