Posted by NJDiva on 8/5/11 10:32am
Msg #392783

I have a good one (I think)

I never had this happen.

So I'm on my way to my 10am this morning. I get about a mile from the bo's home and he calls me to tell me he has to cancel/postpone the appt because "his wife had to go shopping or something." After further conversation, he ended with telling me that he has a mentally ill daughter who his wife was up all night with and because she was distraught this morning, she "had to get out of the house."

He didn't know where she was. He had tried calling her but she wasn't answering the phone or responding to him.

Of course I ended our conversation wishing him well wishes and told him I hope everything works out.

Reply by snoopdogMs on 8/5/11 11:33am
Msg #392791

Sounds fishy to me

People in good relationships don't just run out and leave the spouse clueless. One might want to get out for a breather, (if there really is a mentally ill daughter) but in a healthy relationship, the destination would not be a secret or one would not be intentionally out of reach. Every so often I go to a home for a closing and the spouse is totally not happy about the whole refinance situation.

Reply by SharonMN on 8/5/11 3:14pm
Msg #392825

Re: Sounds fishy to me

SnoopdogMS said: "in a healthy relationship, the destination would not be a secret or one would not be intentionally out of reach"

Really? I can easily see a very stressed out person saying, "Honey, I need to get out and decompress for a bit" (maybe without a particular destination in mind) and not answering (or even taking) their phone. Since when do we have to be reachable by our spouses 24/7?

Reply by snoopdogMs on 8/5/11 4:06pm
Msg #392830

Spouses CAN do as they please

Your opinion of how a relationship works can differ from mine. I agree there. I should have left off my "healthy" opinion as the reference as noted at the end of my post was that sometimes spouses are mad about the refi.. But in this case, there was a business transaction that was scheduled for 10am., papers drawn, a signing agent traveling to the job and the spouse disappears and chooses not to be contacted. Call it healthy or unhealthy. I'm sorry, I just did not buy his story.

Reply by Linda Juenger on 8/5/11 5:58pm
Msg #392833

Re: Spouses CAN do as they please

When I had 2 babies 8 months apart, a 4yr old and 12 yr old at home, sometimes I used to meet my hubby at the door. I would just say, I have to get out of here and go for a walk and I'll be back in a bit. He totally understood. It happens.

Reply by jba/fl on 8/5/11 6:43pm
Msg #392834

Re: Spouses CAN do as they please

Sure does!

Reply by Cupguy/Ar on 8/6/11 5:02pm
Msg #392902

Re: Spouses CAN do as they please

Seems like there should be more to this story. Did you go back to the office and call the SS and tell them the wife was not in the mood? Did the SS say that they would pay you a did not
close fee? The wife should have known that the closing was going to take place for weeks or even months in some cases. Did the wife know how much work went into getting to that point and she just disappears. She had to. She would have had all the rest of the day to "collect her thoughts." I have lots of husbands tell me "My wife is not on the loan!" I tell them that if you are married there are some docs she will need to sign. How does the loan officer go through everything that needs to be done for a loan but doesn't tell a couple that the wife has to be there to sign a few?