Posted by Cupguy/Ar on 11/16/11 9:19pm
Msg #404261

Too friendly of borrowers

I have listened to so many nightmare stories about irrate borrowers or spouses. Had just a few of those but not as bad. O.K. how about too friendly of borrowers. I have several that
just because I am such a nice guy, they don't want me to leave! Ask me to stay for dinner
and open an expensive bottle of an adult beverage. I tell them I can't because I am a PROFESSIONAL! Not happy with me. I had one little old lady whose husband was quite ill.
We did the signing and she said "Can you stay for a little while." "My husband has taken his
pills and he will be out in a few minutes." She opened up the refrigerator and said "Look here." It was stocked. She just wanted somebody to talk to. Hard to do but you can't stick around.

Reply by HisHughness on 11/16/11 9:24pm
Msg #404262

***"My husband has taken hispills and he will be out in a few minutes." ***

Hmmmm...Just how friendly was this lady?

Reply by Cupguy/Ar on 11/16/11 11:38pm
Msg #404273

O.K. Should I leave no matter what? Or if they invite me to stay a while
can I stay? I have always felt I need to go. What would the SS think?

Reply by LKT/CA on 11/16/11 10:05pm
Msg #404267

I notarized for a truck driver at Taco Bell (GNW). I sensed he was lonely and wanted me to stay and chat. My schedule was free so I did. He did most of the talking but it was interesting chat, I actually enjoyed listening to him. Left Taco Bell two hours later.

In some cultures, it is an insult to refuse their hospitality (as you described - offer of a meal and an adult beverage). With that said, you have the right to refuse whatever you want. Elderly people come from a generation where food was the focal point of a visit. JMHO

Reply by Susan Fischer on 11/16/11 11:03pm
Msg #404269

My culture. True, I'm a gregarious gal, and enjoy the

company and discourse, with new friends and old peeps.

I've learned so much, shared some too, and feel quite satisfied with the last career I just happened into, being a remote closer representing the professionals on whose behalf I am at the table.

The Table. The stories it can tell.

My motto was "Your Borrowers Are My Neighbors." And, I wouldn't trade one idle minute I invested in chit-chat with even one fine neighbor I was blessed to meet. Not that every single person was pleasant or fair or whatever - but, they are like water off a duck's back.

The treasures for the heart and mind that one can find behind the doors of our neighbors are priceless in memory and knowledge, and so infinitely rich in experience. Whether breaking bread, accepting tea or the offer of friendship and kindness for a glimpse into their lives, or the simple request for a few moments of my time to ease the lonliness, I'm so thankful for the opportunities to create friends out of strangers.

Jmnsho

Reply by Cupguy/Ar on 11/16/11 11:16pm
Msg #404270

Re: My culture. True, I'm a gregarious gal, and enjoy the

Gosh, Susan, you said it very well. Some times you just hate to leave. You feel like you could spend hours with some folks. When you get down the road you know that you probably will not see/talk to those people again. Unless you made a mistake! Had to do a resign (got paid)
The couple said "The first time was business, the second time your family!"

Reply by Sha/CA on 11/16/11 11:36pm
Msg #404272

Bravo, Susan.

I have been meeting many people over and over again with their refinances these last few years. The other day I told a couple of the borrowers, I was starting to feel they were like family. I am just going to have to check in on them from time to time! Good night, John...

Reply by Susan Fischer on 11/16/11 11:41pm
Msg #404274

Yes! And it's waggin' and kisses, not yaps from the fur-

faces.

10 years for me, and although I retired, the howdy's and waves nurtured over the years are plentiful, and so fulfilling. My Dad still keeps in email touch with a few other WWII or other Navy Vets I was fortunate enough to be able to introduce to each other. How those men love their ships and History!

Reply by LindaD/NJ on 11/17/11 7:37am
Msg #404291

As usual Susan, Eloquent!!!!

99% of my closings are very nice people. Of course, we all get the closings that we wish we did not take. I am one that will go with the flow. I am giving them maybe an hour of my time for THEIR closing. I am always asked if I would like something to drink at the very least. Sometimes after a long day, I will enjoy a nice cup of tea with the borrowers. I like meeting new people. I am professional and courteous. And of course the doggie kisses and cat inspections are hysterical. Can't be afraid of animals in the business. I have gotten great recipes, and information on things I would never have none. I did a closing for a couple that had a Bichon Frise, I have one, Dino, who is allergic to the world. The people told me what they use for an antihystamine. We tried EVERYTHING for Dino, the very cheap Clor-tabs worked like a charm. Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

Reply by Bee_CA on 11/17/11 8:36am
Msg #404300

Re: As usual Susan, Eloquent!!!!

What I have loved over the years is finding out about that 7 degrees of separation (or less). Meeting people that you have a common friend or acquaintance with or something else in common with. I just met people who volunteer for Oregon State Parks and have probably been the camp host at a park when we were there too!!....small world!!

Reply by Ilene C. Seidel on 11/17/11 8:38am
Msg #404301

The one thing I would not say I'm a "PROFESSIONAL" If you are not comfortable staying just say you have another appt but otherwise would have loved to stay.

Reply by Jillian Hinrichs on 11/17/11 10:57am
Msg #404311

Re: Too friendly of borrowers? I love to sit and chat

and when I have the time, I will gladly do so. My signing yesterday was with 2 lovely older people who retired from the Army. It lasted two very enjoyable hours, as I had nothing else scheduled for the day. He had to at least glance thru absolutely every page, and then make a comment before signing each time, while she gabbed along about all sorts of interesting things. Once it was over and I sat to go thru the paperwork again to make sure nothing got missed, they got out coffee (I declined as it wasn't caffeine free) and sat with me, and talked and joked with me. While this is a bit distracting when doing an error check, it was also enjoyable, and once I was done I stayed another half an hour to hear more about their interesting lives. When I finally said "I really must go" they understood and were just very glad that I had taken the time to stay with them for a while. They have no nearby friends or family, so it was a treat for all of us.

Reply by Mike Goodey on 11/17/11 11:35am
Msg #404314

I did a reverse mortgage app for an elderly couple, she was disabled, looked like she had a stroke...anyway he just kept going on and on and I could tell he was lonely and just wanted to talk with someone so I obliged. The way he spoke to her and helped her, I could tell he was very much in love with her. I was there about 2 1/2 hours, but enjoyed every minute.

Reply by BBuchler/CA on 11/17/11 12:15pm
Msg #404317

I too like to "visit" while doing the signing. Many people are apprehensive when signing as they are doing a huge financial transaction. I find that by engaging them during the signing it just seems to go smoother. I have met some very interesting people, and been in some lovely homes, even had a tour or two.

And being an animal person, I don't mind having cats and dogs around. One of the last signings I did they had just rescued two, yep two, dogs and were in the process of introducing them to the household. That was a fun signing as I too was introduced.

I just consider it professional with a smile.

Reply by Julie/MI on 11/17/11 12:38pm
Msg #404319

It does happen where in the home country, it's a social event and they get out the turkish coffee and tiny pretty coffee cups and the bakery items. The problem is threefold, I have other clients waiting, I have a family that needs me home asap and I don't like coffee in the evening and I have gestational diabetes so I cannot eat that stuff.

I appreciate their hospitality, especially notaries have other duties in other countries and to them it's a big deal or they don't realize I have other appointments.

Unfortunately, that's the way it is in the USA, fast paced but when it's time to smell the roses, I want to be with my husband and children.

Reply by Chuckd80/NJ on 11/17/11 3:33pm
Msg #404329

...I love this work!!! I've met some really great families as well. Bee in the finest homes. Some only one can dream of having! But not to steer away from the topic- the kindness of some the borrowers is just overwhelming! I always walk out the door with a smile!!

Might I add-I've played on mannny grand pianos in my years of being a Notary! One borrower owned a rare Steinway, which I just had to "lick my chops" on! He was also a pianist. We ended up standing on the porch talking about Jazz piano, Classical piano...for 2hrs!!!

Reply by Cupguy/Ar on 11/17/11 6:34pm
Msg #404340

Thanks everybody

I am glad I asked this question. Sometimes I just don't want to leave. I will reconsider the situation next time. There is a lot of nice and interesting people out there. Like Chuck said
you get to go into homes that everybody else just gets to drive by.