Posted by HisHughness on 4/26/12 8:57pm
Msg #419047

My EOM

EOM. Three signings Tuesday, docs already printed for one. Techie -- a new one -- comes in at noon to tune up computer. I vet him somewhat, seems to have the requisite skills. He goes to work. He stays at work. After an hour or so, I ask what's going on. He's having trouble getting on the Internet. Since I am a Vonage customer, that means no phone service.

1 p.m., still no Internet service. I call my the title company -- a long-time, good-paying and most productive client -- on my 2:30 appointment and tell them they will have to find somebody else.

3 p.m. The clueless techie is still trying to put my system back together. I call B and ask if the 6:30 can be changed to 7:30;; he says yes, so I call another Austin NSA and ask her to print those docs for me. I call the SS for my 5 p.m. This a 4-star SS. a brand new client -- and they're dealing with a brand new client for themselves. It's a Reverse Mortgage, and they had come to me just because I'm a former RM loan officer. I tell them I'm going to have to give the closing back to them, but will help find a good NSA.

5 p.m. The techie, growing more clueless by the minute, has my system completely torn down. I have now turned back two closings of the three closings I had scheduled, and turned down two others. My landline phone has not rung since noon.

6:15 p.m. I tell the techie to stop whatever further disaster he is creating, I have to go. He promises to come back Wednesday morning first thing. I say that's fine, intending to call in a competent techie while he's there so he can explain what kind of mayhem he has created, and then take him to the door, shove a king-size Roman candle up his butt, and light it.

6:30 p.m. I pick up the documents that my NSA friend had printed. She offers to print for my noon closing the next day, and I accept. In gratitude, I offer to be her sex slave till I die. She doesn't bother to respond, unless you could call the look on her face a response. I pick up the docs on my way home from the 7:30 p.m. closing.

8 a.m.-noon, no techie. No Internet. No computer. No landline phone. To make up for those losses, I have lots and lots of blood pressure.

10 a.m. Turn down another closing.

Noon closing goes off without a hitch.

7:30 p.m. New, competent techie comes in, restores Internet, computer, landline, leaves, smiling at what he's going to buy his girlfriend with my $257.

Total cost of incompetent techie:
Repairs: $257
Printing by friend: 50
Closings turned back 295
Closings turned down 430
TOTAL 1,035

I just realized tonight: The original computer problem never got fixed.

Reply by Clem/CA on 4/26/12 9:11pm
Msg #419050

I find dipping my computer in a bath full of water until it stops bubbling a help!

Reply by Lee/AR on 4/26/12 9:13pm
Msg #419052

Ouch! n/m

Reply by LKT/CA on 4/26/12 10:08pm
Msg #419061

<<<I call my the title company -- a long-time, good-paying and most productive client........and tell them they will have to find somebody else........I tell them I'm going to have to give the closing back to them, but will help find a good NSA.>>>

Things happen but here's how I handle giving back a signing or GNW (especially with a long-time client): FIRST, I contact a notary friend and see if they are ready, willing and able to take the job. Once I confirm that, THEN I call the hiring party with the bad news followed immediately by GOOD news. If the hiring party chooses not to accept my referral, that's on them.

Reply by Jessica Ward on 4/26/12 10:14pm
Msg #419063

Ohhhh Hugh! That is terrible!! I'm so sorry you went through that, I can't imagine how stressful that was!

What's the original computer problem? I'm pretty savvy, I may be able to talk you through a simple fix if there's one to be had. Aside from literally-burned-out parts I've never had to call in someone to fix a machine. (knock on wood). I've been fixing my own computers and printers for years.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/26/12 11:20pm
Msg #419072

Thanks, Jessica

But I dunno. There are certain eternal verities pertaining to men and women.

No woman should ever be able to eat jalapenos hotter than a man.

No woman should ever pretend to know the exact moment to lift a brisket off the grill.

And no woman should claim to be able to wield a crescent wrench and a screwdriver like a man.

There are just lines that God never intended to be crossed. Were that not the case, you would, for heavens sake, have women strutting around as cops and firefighters, burning up the asphalt at the Indy 500, and even flying helicopters in war zones, and we all know what the likelihood is of that ever happening.

It's true that I am so mechanically inept that I was 33 years old before I learned how properly to flush a toilet, which may have some bearing on my serial marriages. Nonetheless, I remain convinced that by virtue of my precious Y chromosome that I can wield a screwdriver better than any female, no matter how well she fills out a pair of overalls.

And I'll thank you to keep your hands off my pepper jar, too.

Reply by Linda Spanski on 4/26/12 11:28pm
Msg #419073

Alternative plan:

If you're lucky enough to be near a FedEx store or something similar you can pay to use a computer, download the docs to your flash drive, plug it into a printer and print docs. It doesn't come cheap. Still, better than losing work.

Reply by CJ on 4/27/12 12:30am
Msg #419074

I agree: Fed Ex

I know Fed Ex has a "24-hour turn around", but I keep my Fed Ex happy with donuts and things. Call them before you go over there and work out an arrangment with someone to print your docs up ASAP. It's 10 cents a page, but it saves your job and your customers. Tell the fed ex person that you will tip them too. The day after EOM, show up with donuts so they will remember for next time.

Reply by Scriba/NM on 4/27/12 1:27am
Msg #419086

A most incredible story. Let's see - an experienced sighing agent with no back up computer. Using Vonage. Why not a tin can and a string? No backup printing source, like FedEx or UPS.

I've only been at this for 12 years, but I have learned that you need to understand how a computer works and if it's suffered a heart attack, I utilize my backup computer. If my HP4200 dual tray goes out, I use my backup HP4200. Oh, and I use a real telephone for talking, and another real phone line for my dedicated laser fax. While travelling, I use real cell phones and a real laptop, just in case my office blows up and everything else is lost. I'm still in business. When one system goes down (which is rare due to good maintenance and replacing equipment every two years) you take it to the computer repair shop where professionals fix it as a priority because they know your business runs on a computer.

Or, one can go insane by calling in Denny Dimwit to repair your only computer (now DOA) which somehow uses Vonage. Then again, there's always Magic Jack...............OMG.

Reply by HisHughness on 4/27/12 2:03am
Msg #419090

And the smart,experienced agent also drives a hybrid auto...

...so that, in the event there is a worldwide shortage of gasoline, he can still operate his vehicle on ego alone, with sufficient ego left over to power an emergency generator for the second computer, short-wave radio, and the light in the office emergency composting toilet.

Reply by Christine/OK on 4/27/12 7:48am
Msg #419099

Re: And the smart,experienced agent also drives a hybrid auto...

Feel your pain - LOVE your sense of humor!!

Reply by Mark/SanJose on 4/27/12 12:13pm
Msg #419151

I have a full duplicate system

It is cheaper than 2 days lost business and eliminates hassles and reputation damage.